Talk about having a rough day :/ My condolences OP

Blame it on the ah ah a ah a alcohol.

True, the boss may suck. But a couple questions - is this the first time you were late? Or is this a common occurrence and the "last straw"... And did you even call to explain you would be late and why? Just sounds fishy he would up and fire a great employee for one late morning...

28-Those were my thoughts exactly. If OP was in such a rush, she had to know the boss wasn't going to tolerate tardiness for whatever reason, whether it was by her own actions or company policy.

Am I the only one who cares if the dog is okay!?

Tell him you just wrestled a crocodile and if he fired you then you would beat the shit outta him

Yeah, threatening the boss will definitely help op's defense

What a Richard...

For those who are thumbing him down Richard is another name for dick

Pretty sure you don't have to be a dick to figure that one out.

Kudos for using "Richard" instead of d**k

Because using asterisks makes the word less 'offensive'.

Asterisks make me angry.

Youre really in a fight club aren't you? And made up that excuse because you can't talk about it..

sounds legit

Not really..

WHAT IS THE FIRST RULE?!

Well that escalated quickly.

Boy, *

not. particularly. no.

Well, * It's all good.

http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/that-escalated-quickly Again. Boy,*

The dog just wanted you home more often...

Your boss is a douchecandle, OP and I hope you can find a new job quickly or get your old one back!

Why candle?

Wait what?! You put a candle up there? That's a strange way of cleaning it...

DoucheCandle. I've never heard of that before! Although my boyfriend and I call each other douchemonkies.

You should've gone to the hospital and taken a sick day!

And that's when you bring up the"other guy" into the conversation. Just don't let him catch on that the "other guy" was actually your dog who effortlessly got the shit beaten out of you.

File for unemployment and ice your wounds.