Today, I started my brand new job. I was late because while repairing my favorite pair of high heels, I got Superglue in my eye. They had to scrape my cornea and I have to wear an eye patch. I'm now the "New pirate" in the office. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I shattered a coffee pot at work and ended up with a piece of glass in my eye. Now I have to look like a pirate until its healed, and it's nowhere near Halloween. FML
Today, I accidentally super-glued my hand to my face while trying to fix a broken pair of glasses. I yanked it off in a panic, taking a patch of my face along with it. FML
Today, I scratched my cornea and have to wear a large bandage covering my eye. I'm off today, but I'll probably have to wear it to school tomorrow. FML
Today, I had to explain to my boss that I was late to work because somehow my hand slipped when I was brushing my teeth, and I hit myself in the eye with the brush. I had to remove my contacts, wash my eye, and find my glasses. He didn't believe me, but at least my eye is minty fresh. FML
Today, I was attempting to tame my bushy eyebrows, since I'm starting a new job in a few days and need to look somewhat presentable, when I poked myself in the eye. Hard. I thought I’d blinded myself for a few moments. Now it’s just red, sore and watery. FML
Today, I was polishing a ring I made at a jewelry shop I intern at. The ring flicked off my fingers and smashed me in the eye. It only took a single trip to the emergency room to make me pretty sure I won't be getting the job. FML
Today, at my new job waitressing, I walked into a glass door at full speed while carrying a tray of drinks. Not only did I spill everything, but I also left a weird make up face print on the glass for everyone to laugh at. FML
Today, in my rush to do my hair and get to work, I managed to trip over my dog, hit my eye on the counter, and sprain my ankle. I arrived at work with a black eye and a painful limp. My boss didn't care, and fired me for showing up late. FML
Today, I got stung by a bee. On my eyelid. I'm allergic so it's swollen up so much, I can't even open my eye. Tomorrow is the first day of a new prestigious school. I either have to go to school wearing an eye-patch or walk around looking like a monster. FML
Today, after an extremely hard day at work, I took a hot shower to wind down a little bit. I accidentally splashed a painful amount of hot water and shampoo in my eyes. My left contact is now stuck to my eyeball. FML
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Top comments
chilearmy123 4
Arghhhhh
LaColombianita 26
That sounds very painful! But pirate isn't that bad of a nickname.. At least they didn't call you cyclops or something like that lol.
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Comments (141)
hqbrat 8
AHoy mate! :)
lemmins 1
There was an old pirate?
sleet7 4
So by super glue you mean jiz.
kainpwnsu 19
Arrrrrrrre you okay?
zyprexa_fml 10
Wow that sucks! I hope that you're okay now. However, I have to say next time just find another pair of undamaged heels
ohSNAPyall 27
Hey, at least you're not blind.
alliebaba7 8
How do u manage to get glue in your eye? Just wondering
Auric 9
Pirates are awesome! They help stop global warming :-)
vampiresam9097 5
What happened to the old pirate?
TheEpicPies 15
Doesn't that hurt a lot?