Today, I started my brand new job. I was late because while repairing my favorite pair of high heels, I got Superglue in my eye. They had to scrape my cornea and I have to wear an eye patch. I'm now the "New pirate" in the office. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I shattered a coffee pot at work and ended up with a piece of glass in my eye. Now I have to look like a pirate until its healed, and it's nowhere near Halloween. FML
Today, I accidentally super-glued my hand to my face while trying to fix a broken pair of glasses. I yanked it off in a panic, taking a patch of my face along with it. FML
Today, I scratched my cornea and have to wear a large bandage covering my eye. I'm off today, but I'll probably have to wear it to school tomorrow. FML
Today, I had to explain to my boss that I was late to work because somehow my hand slipped when I was brushing my teeth, and I hit myself in the eye with the brush. I had to remove my contacts, wash my eye, and find my glasses. He didn't believe me, but at least my eye is minty fresh. FML
Today, I was attempting to tame my bushy eyebrows, since I'm starting a new job in a few days and need to look somewhat presentable, when I poked myself in the eye. Hard. I thought I’d blinded myself for a few moments. Now it’s just red, sore and watery. FML
Today, I was polishing a ring I made at a jewelry shop I intern at. The ring flicked off my fingers and smashed me in the eye. It only took a single trip to the emergency room to make me pretty sure I won't be getting the job. FML
Today, at my new job waitressing, I walked into a glass door at full speed while carrying a tray of drinks. Not only did I spill everything, but I also left a weird make up face print on the glass for everyone to laugh at. FML
Today, in my rush to do my hair and get to work, I managed to trip over my dog, hit my eye on the counter, and sprain my ankle. I arrived at work with a black eye and a painful limp. My boss didn't care, and fired me for showing up late. FML
Today, I got stung by a bee. On my eyelid. I'm allergic so it's swollen up so much, I can't even open my eye. Tomorrow is the first day of a new prestigious school. I either have to go to school wearing an eye-patch or walk around looking like a monster. FML
Today, after an extremely hard day at work, I took a hot shower to wind down a little bit. I accidentally splashed a painful amount of hot water and shampoo in my eyes. My left contact is now stuck to my eyeball. FML
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Top comments
chilearmy123 4
Arghhhhh
LaColombianita 26
That sounds very painful! But pirate isn't that bad of a nickname.. At least they didn't call you cyclops or something like that lol.
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Comments (141)
littlemsweirdo 12
Eye think that sucks!
FruitlessApple 8
Eye see what you did there!
KeyboardWarrior 10
Eye don't! Somebody poke err... Point it out?
sikmunkee 9
how did you superglue in your eye?
Mister_Triangle 21
Well, when a mommy superglue and a daddy eye love each other very much, they hug for a long time and a pirate baby is born!
Vball6 19
Fake eye lashes I'm guessing
Epic_Phale615 0
Women. The only thing they can do right is make sandwiches.
MissCharlotte_fml 26
107, did you even read the FML? She was using them to fix her high heels. Also, who the **** uses superglue for fake eyelashes??
THE_A_TEEN 28
Does that mean you're going to plunder Ye office booty? Y'aaarrrrr.
EvilTeddysRock 2
just don't take the bus home,someone might want to test your new level of badassery
sikmunkee 9
i see what you did there
shanemaximo 7
Don't end up in a roadside ditch.
MissHayleyJames 7
And done end up reenacting scenes from Platoon with Charlie Sheen. Best commercials ever.
ycrem0n 21
The Pirate wears Prada = Fail
RedmontFief 7
Why does no one think this is funny?
wildsweetchild 19
Ouch...better that than illuminati bs .. '-)
THE_A_TEEN 28
The illuminati is real, AND I CAN PROVE IT. THEY ARE AFTER YOU! I need my meds and tinfoil hat....
Mister_Triangle 21
No matter how hard I try, I can't find the connection between supergluing eyes and the illuminati. I guess the illuminati brainwashed me too much
wildsweetchild 19
Eye of Providence,,,apparently if any of the modern entertainers wears an eye patch or closes their one eye it’s immediately gets linked to illuminati…i guess i was reading way too many youtube comments. ;/
seth_harris 0
I did that once, only I glued my shoes to my eyes. Everybody called me "Seth"
caybree 0
Hahahaha
auzz1_pride 9
I thought Seth was your name....
The_Hitdude 12
^^That's the point....
waresjake 3
Argh, I still love Yee
EatMare 8
How you managed to superglue your eye while repairing high heels beats me.
emba_fml 13
she was probably supergluing the heel back onto one of them
imjaninja 0
What? ...using her eye? :/ eeerrrrrrrrr
joyc3 10
I was wondering the same... Unless she leaned in too close to see if.... Nah. I can't picture it!
valalvax 13
Most likely superglue got on hand, rub eye
MatthewDmerrill 5
Wish I was a pirate. Arrg.