Kids: Today, I spun a two year old upside down, in circles. She wasn't...

By Anonymous - 12/01/2012 18:41 - United Kingdom

Today, I spun a two year old upside down, in circles. She wasn't remotely dizzy. I threw up on myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 620

You deserved it 11 078

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Same thing different taste

By hamboneghost - 24/02/2015 19:02 - Canada - New Westminster

Today, I greeted my girlfriend with a spinning hug. She got motion sickness and threw up all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 311

You deserved it 8 865

By laurwitharawr - 06/10/2009 12:08 - United States

Today, my daughter was feeling sick. She threw up on the floor. As I was cleaning up her vomit, she threw up on my head. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 434

You deserved it 4 438

By Username - 06/11/2010 05:18 - France

Today, I was playing with my four month old daughter, flying her in the air like an airplane. I open my mouth saying 'Weeee', and she vomited on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 649

You deserved it 15 737

Splat!

By Anonymous - 02/07/2022 14:00

Today, because I have an inner ear problem which gives me major vertigo and nausea, I spontaneously projectile vomited all over my bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 803

You deserved it 88

Cropduster

By Sodge - 15/05/2009 10:20 - Australia

Today, I was impressing dinner guests by spinning my new baby in the air (something she loves), when she projectile vomited over the dinner table and the guests. My wife, who had spent three hours cooking was not impressed. Once of the guests was also a sympathy spewer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 409

You deserved it 45 253

By WolfieJL - 18/05/2014 07:51 - United States

Today, my two year-old puked in the backseat of the car. When we stopped to clean her up, she scooped up the vomit by the handful and threw it at my head. I had an almost two-hour drive before I could wash the smell off myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 048

You deserved it 5 455

By emily074 - 23/08/2015 03:13 - United States - Salem

Today, the nine year old girl I was babysitting got the hiccups, so I told her to drink some water upside down to cure them. She ended up vomiting on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 159

You deserved it 11 934

By Anonymous - 18/09/2015 21:14 - United States - Jonesboro

Today, at the small daycare I run, I turned around to put something away. I heard a splashing sound and then saw one of my kids vomiting. He puked several times, and managed to hit the only rug in the entire house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 500

You deserved it 1 989

What goes up…

By Anonymous - 27/01/2013 11:10 - United States - Grand Junction

Today, the rollercoaster I was on stuck upside down for a few minutes. I shat myself in terror. Then, gravity took effect. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 770

You deserved it 10 797

By FML - 12/11/2009 07:14 - United States

Today, I held a container while a patient tried to throw up in it. She missed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 424

You deserved it 3 283

ShroomsOnAcid 16

Thursday 12 January 2012 22:40

I like how this post sounds like you started spinning a random two year old you picked up off the street or something.

XxYingYangxX 1

Thursday 12 January 2012 22:33

What goes around must come... up?

Comments

DontModMeDammit 10

Thursday 12 January 2012 22:32

Looks like baby food huh?

Damn_Hippster 11

Thursday 12 January 2012 23:16

How do you manage to throw up on yourself?

xxmel 6

Friday 13 January 2012 0:31

#21 Maybe she threw up .. And wasn't over a toilet or garbage can. If you throw up standing up, it will get on you.

Kayokku 1

Thursday 12 January 2012 22:33

Lol, good job.

Fruit_Dealer 9

Thursday 12 January 2012 23:04

Unimpressed cat approves your cat-like IQ.

lindseykcool 6

Friday 13 January 2012 0:29

YDI, definitely.

XxYingYangxX 1

Thursday 12 January 2012 22:33

What goes around must come... up?

lendalynn 5

Thursday 12 January 2012 22:33

That's unfortunate..

angrymexican 8

Friday 13 January 2012 0:53

Is that why it's on FML?

kadesgb 0

Thursday 12 January 2012 22:35

Old

ZealIFeel 7

Thursday 12 January 2012 22:36

Or maybe the two year old spun you around upside down and that's why they weren't dizzy and you were O.o

mserrato 8

Thursday 12 January 2012 22:36

Vertigo?

ShroomsOnAcid 16

Thursday 12 January 2012 22:40

I like how this post sounds like you started spinning a random two year old you picked up off the street or something.

dudeman1212 22

Friday 13 January 2012 3:52

Doesn't everyone?

dhardesty23 8

Thursday 12 January 2012 22:43

*note to self* do not spin kid in circles anymore. possibly enjoyable for kid but that's just too bad.

yourmurderscenex 13

Thursday 12 January 2012 22:44

lesson learned.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my best friend called me to cancel our mall plans. I could hear that she was watching a movie in the background. I then called my boyfriend to see if he was busy, and I could hear the same movie in the background. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 310

You deserved it 157

Today, the girl I love who friendzoned me called to talk. She shared the marvelous things she'd done for her friend's birthday, then said, "You had a recent birthday too." Then she laughed. We'd talked multiple times without her mentioning my birthday. She ignored it on Facebook. Time for no contact. FML

I agree, your life sucks 356

You deserved it 165

The Top

Today, I told my boyfriend that I'd be going on a trip to Europe. I assured him that I would never cheat on him with any European guys. He replied with, "Why would I be worried? You're not very pretty." FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 970

You deserved it 6 912

Today, the war against the pigeons on my veranda reached a new level. To try and get them to clear off, I gave my window pane a short, sharp knock. It broke into several shards, and not one of the totally oblivious birds moved. Pigeons 1, Me 0. FML

I agree, your life sucks 385

You deserved it 114

Math is hard.

I agree, your life sucks 496

You deserved it 134

Today, I was leading a wheelchair fundraiser to raise money to make public areas wheelchair accessible. I had several guest speakers, all of which were confined to wheelchairs. About ten minutes after the fundraiser was supposed to begin, I realized that the stage was wheelchair incompatible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 125

You deserved it 77 637

Today, I was naked on top of my boyfriend looking lovingly into his eyes. He then started to use my boobs as punching bags while singing "Eye of the Tiger". FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 146

You deserved it 9 449

Today, my driver's-side door was so frozen that the locking mechanism wouldn't move. My passenger-side door's lock worked, but the door itself wouldn't budge. The door handle on the other hand, budged quite well. It budged right off its hinges. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 949

You deserved it 3 788

Same thing different taste

Splat!

Cropduster

What goes up…

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