Kids: Today, I spun a two year old upside down, in circles. She wasn't...

By Anonymous - 12/01/2012 18:41 - United Kingdom

Today, I spun a two year old upside down, in circles. She wasn't remotely dizzy. I threw up on myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 614

You deserved it 11 062

Kids

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Same thing different taste

By hamboneghost - 24/02/2015 19:02 - Canada - New Westminster

Today, I greeted my girlfriend with a spinning hug. She got motion sickness and threw up all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 304

You deserved it 8 856

By Username - 06/11/2010 05:18 - France

Today, I was playing with my four month old daughter, flying her in the air like an airplane. I open my mouth saying 'Weeee', and she vomited on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 636

You deserved it 15 728

By laurwitharawr - 06/10/2009 12:08 - United States

Today, my daughter was feeling sick. She threw up on the floor. As I was cleaning up her vomit, she threw up on my head. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 418

You deserved it 4 432

By WolfieJL - 18/05/2014 07:51 - United States

Today, my two year old puked in the backseat of the car. When we stopped to clean her up, she scooped up the vomit by the handful and threw it at my head. I had an almost two hour drive before I could wash the smell off myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 034

You deserved it 5 448

By emily074 - 23/08/2015 03:13 - United States - Salem

Today, the nine year old girl I was babysitting got the hiccups, so I told her to drink some water upside down to cure them. She ended up vomiting on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 147

You deserved it 11 922

Splat!

By Anonymous - 02/07/2022 14:00

Today, because I have an inner ear problem which gives me major vertigo and nausea, I spontaneously projectile vomited all over my bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 791

You deserved it 81

Cropduster

By Sodge - 15/05/2009 10:20 - Australia

Today, I was impressing dinner guests by spinning my new baby in the air (something she loves), when she projectile vomited over the dinner table and the guests. My wife, who had spent three hours cooking was not impressed. Once of the guests was also a sympathy spewer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 405

You deserved it 45 226

By espylone - 17/12/2011 15:42 - France

Today, my five-year-old daughter told me she was going to throw up. I told her to rush to the bathroom. I followed her a few seconds later, only to find her sitting on the toilet and vomiting onto the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 119

You deserved it 6 490

By babybreath - 03/06/2009 02:08 - United States

Today, I was babysitting my baby cousin. I was lying on my back playing with her, while holding her up in the air. As I was doing that, I made cooing noises and funny faces to get her to laugh. She laughed and threw up in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 089

You deserved it 10 181

By Anonymous - 02/03/2019 14:00

Today, I went to pick up a pizza with my kids for an easy dinner. As soon as I opened my mouth to order, the 2-year-old in my arms vomited into it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 344

You deserved it 247

ShroomsOnAcid 16

Thursday 12 January 2012 22:40

I like how this post sounds like you started spinning a random two year old you picked up off the street or something.

XxYingYangxX 1

Thursday 12 January 2012 22:33

What goes around must come... up?

Comments

DontModMeDammit 10

Thursday 12 January 2012 22:32

Looks like baby food huh?

Damn_Hippster 11

Thursday 12 January 2012 23:16

How do you manage to throw up on yourself?

xxmel 6

Friday 13 January 2012 0:31

#21 Maybe she threw up .. And wasn't over a toilet or garbage can. If you throw up standing up, it will get on you.

Kayokku 1

Thursday 12 January 2012 22:33

Lol, good job.

Fruit_Dealer 9

Thursday 12 January 2012 23:04

Unimpressed cat approves your cat-like IQ.

lindseykcool 6

Friday 13 January 2012 0:29

YDI, definitely.

XxYingYangxX 1

Thursday 12 January 2012 22:33

What goes around must come... up?

lendalynn 5

Thursday 12 January 2012 22:33

That's unfortunate..

angrymexican 8

Friday 13 January 2012 0:53

Is that why it's on FML?

kadesgb 0

Thursday 12 January 2012 22:35

Old

ZealIFeel 7

Thursday 12 January 2012 22:36

Or maybe the two year old spun you around upside down and that's why they weren't dizzy and you were O.o

mserrato 8

Thursday 12 January 2012 22:36

Vertigo?

ShroomsOnAcid 16

Thursday 12 January 2012 22:40

I like how this post sounds like you started spinning a random two year old you picked up off the street or something.

dudeman1212 22

Friday 13 January 2012 3:52

Doesn't everyone?

dhardesty23 8

Thursday 12 January 2012 22:43

*note to self* do not spin kid in circles anymore. possibly enjoyable for kid but that's just too bad.

yourmurderscenex 13

Thursday 12 January 2012 22:44

lesson learned.

Keywords

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I agree, your life sucks 24 897

You deserved it 1 722

Today, I found out my boyfriend made a move to hook up with my best friend. She was about to reciprocate, only for him to suddenly tell her that she’s a horrible friend, and then he told me about it. I’m not sure if I should be picking sides here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 694

You deserved it 202

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Today, I bumped into my next door neighbor. She said, "Not for nothing, but I heard you fighting with your boyfriend last night, you're pretty harsh on him." I don't have a boyfriend, I was just drunk and castigating myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 515

You deserved it 804

Today, my mother and I were discussing how we couldn't believe it's been nearly a year since my dad died. Not paying attention, my husband absentmindedly added, "Time flies when you're having fun." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 859

You deserved it 3 630

Today, my spouse asked me if I could transfer some of the passion I have for buffalo wings into our relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 014

You deserved it 37 577

Today, my neighbor - whose first words to me when I moved onto the block were "I don't like your face" - called the cops and claimed I'd been exposing myself in public. His lowlife buddy backed him up on his lie. I'm pretty sure I'm going to end up in deep trouble thanks to them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 241

You deserved it 1 292

Today, my Dad sat me down and told me that I was adopted. I was unbelievably shocked by this revelation and asked him why he'd never told me this before. His response was, "I didn't know!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 569

You deserved it 3 070

Today, it was my first anniversary with my husband. Not only were we mad at each other and not speaking the whole day, he doesn't even remember and spent the night out with his friends instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 849

You deserved it 276

Same thing different taste

Splat!

Cropduster

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