Animals: Today, I smashed a spider with my pencil eraser. Later, I absentmindedly... - FML

By GetMeTheDamnBleach - 21/10/2014 19:46 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, I smashed a spider with my pencil eraser. Later, I absentmindedly chewed on it while doing my homework. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 522

You deserved it 32 173

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Same thing different taste

By Heyme - 09/12/2008 13:50 - France

Today, I was working and eating. I was so tired that I bit into my pen and smeared my chocolate-filled pastry on my exercise book. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 396

You deserved it 6 730

By scarred4life - 27/04/2011 14:05 - Canada

Today, I was absentmindedly playing with a piece of lint. When I looked at it, I realized that I had been rolling and squeezing a dead spider in my fingers for about five minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 845

You deserved it 19 108

By dumbblonde - 06/08/2009 03:04 - United States

Today, I was sitting at the computer when this really annoying fly kept landing on the keyboard. After a while, I took the bottom of a pen and squished it. Twenty minutes later I absentmindedly started chewing at the bottom of the pen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 278

You deserved it 62 349

Maths

By lorena_v - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, I screamed at the top of my lungs in the middle of a math test because I saw a spider that wound up being a hairball. My teacher was incredibly sympathetic, taking off only five points for "disrupting our working environment". FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 462

You deserved it 4 222

By somuchforthat - 19/02/2010 07:38 - Australia

Today, I woke up and found a small leg of what used to belong to a spider on the corner of my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 716

You deserved it 2 521

Best teeth in the game

By Nochnoii - 07/10/2009 20:07 - Belgium

Today, I was chewing my pen while I was paying attention to my teacher. I chewed a bit too hard, and something broke off, so I casually looked at my pen. It was unharmed. One of my front teeth had broken off. Everyone in class, including the teacher, had to see it before I could call my dentist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 679

You deserved it 13 265

By gaggin - 26/12/2012 19:30 - United States - Beverly Hills

Today, I woke up to find pieces of a dead spider stuck in my braces. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 171

You deserved it 3 988

Happy meal

By ollierocks96 - 17/12/2009 21:43 - United States

Today, I was eating lunch outside with my friends, when a spider fell on one guy's back. I glanced at it and opened my mouth to warn him when another guy flicked it and it went into my mouth. I can still taste it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 570

You deserved it 3 027

By Jesus - 27/09/2011 02:03 - Canada

Today, I saw what I thought was a spider. Wanting to kill it as quickly as possible, I smacked my hand against the wall with force. It was a nail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 268

You deserved it 32 026

By Annie - 24/08/2015 08:46 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was laying on the couch, reading, when I noticed a spindly leg poking round the corner of my book. Upon realising it was a spider, I calmly and rationally threw my book across the room, breaking the TV. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 790

You deserved it 9 274

Next

Top comments

leaper66 12

Wednesday 22 October 2014 1:19

Hope it didn't taste too bad...

BeepBeepSwerve 9

Wednesday 22 October 2014 1:19

a little mid afternoon snack!

Comments

JustNatalie 8

Friday 24 October 2014 15:31

I don't even feel sorry for you ?

xKai_Axelx 12

Monday 27 October 2014 15:25

why would you kill a spider with something you use that close to your face?

TrueBlueTardis 11

Thursday 30 October 2014 4:26

Hey...OP here. Created an account to answer some questions. 1: I didn't catch it and release it outside because all spiders are evil demon spawn that deserve to be sent back to hell. 2: I didn't clean it off because the spider carcass wasn't actually on the eraser, and I had gotten distracted right after this so I forgot about it til later. 3: I didn't exactly chew it, but rather just lightly held it against my lip while thinking about an answer. Of course, this is when I remembered what had happened earlier. I screamed, threw the pencil down, and then sprinted to the nearest sink to scrub my lips.

scottishoatmeal 22

Saturday 9 January 2016 0:55

Karma!

Blucanary 6

Thursday 6 September 2018 13:07

After you smashed didnt you wipe it off?! So long as you wiped it off good enough it's not THAT big a deal

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