Today, I slipped on the ice in front of my apartment, spraining my ankle and cracking a rib. While I laid on the ground immediately after, my neighbor chewed me out for saying "shit" in front of her 4-year-old on my way down. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Same thing different taste
Today, I was home alone in my apartment. I tripped over my dresser and fell and sprained my ankle. As I was laying there in agonizing pain, my downstairs neighbor shouted at me to shut up. FML
Today, while walking to work, I sneezed so violently that I slipped on a patch of ice and hit the ground hard, badly spraining my shoulder. I lay there in agony as a pair of bystanders just stood there, laughing their asses off. FML
Toot toot!
Today, I slipped and fell on the ice while attending a community event for work. A man came to help me up, and I farted really loudly. FML
Don't just stand there!
Today, I slipped on my icy front porch, fell back, and hit my head on the step. I tried to get up, but lost my balance and fell halfway into the bush next to the steps. I then looked up to see my very hot, British, ex-Special Forces next door neighbor laughing so hard he dropped his snow shovel. FML
Today, I was walking home from work, when I slipped and fell on a patch of ice. I clambered back to my feet, made it three feet, then slipped and fell again. A guy who'd witnessed the whole thing stuck his head out of his car window and yelled "Dumbasssssss!" FML
Today, I tripped over a "Caution: Slippery When Wet" floor sign and sprained my ankle. FML
Priorities
Today, I broke my toe and screamed, "Fuck!" My mom heard and yelled at me for swearing, while I laid on the floor in pain. FML
Today, after slipping on my stairs and spraining my ankle, I got a brace and crutches at urgent care. When I went to get into my car, my crutch slipped on some paper and I fell. I crawled back into urgent care, only to learn that my sprained ankle is now broken in 2 places. FML
Today, I walked across my kitchen to go get my mom a blanket after she shoveled snow. I slipped and caught the kitchen chair with my side, landed on the floor and almost fracturing my knee cap. She then told me she wasn't cold. FML
Today, I walked to the end of my driveway to pick up the newspaper. I read the front page that was talking about people who have been getting hurt from slipping on ice. Laughing about that thought and walking up my driveway, I slipped. FML
Top comments
adelaide_evening 0
You should've killed two birds with one stone and told her to take her bitching elsewhere.
PureGold 0
WOW, some people just don't get it. There are some things you just need to let go. There are no words to adequately describe people like your neighbor. Socially retarded, snobbish, idiotic, self-absorbed assholes, maybe, but so much worse...
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Comments (93)
Anakah 6
I would have told her to **** off. Man, I would have cussed up a storm had it been me. That was mild to what I would have been saying. I get that she didn't want her "precious" child's ears devirgintized by the word shit but damn, I bet the kid has heard worse-- on tv! Its not like you said it to be rude, you fell!!!
that_guy_you_are 0
That's ******. You should hound your landlord about that -- he's legally obligated to clear snow and ice from the sidewalk (at least in Toronto) within 24 hours. On top of the ticket he'd get for not clearing his property, he's liable for a civil suit as he was clearly negligent. Play your cards right and he could be your bitch for a long time with that hanging over his head.
ohhhhshizzz 0
I would have said: "Look you little **** sucker, I just fell on ice down stairs now if you don't call a ******* ambulance I will kick your ass till hell won't have it again, bitch. And if you tell me one more ******* thing jackass I will cockslap you." But that is just me, I'm not nice.
turdburgers 0
I was criticized once for saying "butt" in front of a 7 year old. Parents are nuts.
Shyman4ever 0
Usally my best friend would respond with a: **** **** fuckedy **** ****
Richard_F 0
Dude that sucks next time tell her shit is a word for another word just like " **** bitch ass ***** **** and many more" in front of her 4 year old that will teach her.
TheBigDJ 0
her kid is going to be a fag
indyme 0
There are times when profanity is totally suitable. This is one of them. And I have a 4 year old.
nosedive1994 0
you should have told her to **** off-- in exactly those words
pyrogirl6622 0
you where falling you couldn't help it. someone need to bitch slap her.