Today, I slipped on the ice in front of my apartment, spraining my ankle and cracking a rib. While I laid on the ground immediately after, my neighbor chewed me out for saying "shit" in front of her 4-year-old on my way down. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was home alone in my apartment. I tripped over my dresser and fell and sprained my ankle. As I was laying there in agonizing pain, my downstairs neighbor shouted at me to shut up. FML
Today, while walking to work, I sneezed so violently that I slipped on a patch of ice and hit the ground hard, badly spraining my shoulder. I lay there in agony as a pair of bystanders just stood there, laughing their asses off. FML
Today, I slipped and fell on the ice while attending a community event for work. A man came to help me up, and I farted really loudly. FML
Today, I slipped on my icy front porch, fell back, and hit my head on the step. I tried to get up, but lost my balance and fell halfway into the bush next to the steps. I then looked up to see my very hot, British, ex-Special Forces next door neighbor laughing so hard he dropped his snow shovel. FML
Today, I was walking home from work, when I slipped and fell on a patch of ice. I clambered back to my feet, made it three feet, then slipped and fell again. A guy who'd witnessed the whole thing stuck his head out of his car window and yelled "Dumbasssssss!" FML
Today, I tripped over a "Caution: Slippery When Wet" floor sign and sprained my ankle. FML
Today, I broke my toe and screamed, "Fuck!" My mom heard and yelled at me for swearing, while I laid on the floor in pain. FML
Today, after slipping on my stairs and spraining my ankle, I got a brace and crutches at urgent care. When I went to get into my car, my crutch slipped on some paper and I fell. I crawled back into urgent care, only to learn that my sprained ankle is now broken in 2 places. FML
Today, I walked across my kitchen to go get my mom a blanket after she shoveled snow. I slipped and caught the kitchen chair with my side, landed on the floor and almost fracturing my knee cap. She then told me she wasn't cold. FML
Today, I walked to the end of my driveway to pick up the newspaper. I read the front page that was talking about people who have been getting hurt from slipping on ice. Laughing about that thought and walking up my driveway, I slipped. FML
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Top comments
adelaide_evening 0
You should've killed two birds with one stone and told her to take her bitching elsewhere.
PureGold 0
WOW, some people just don't get it. There are some things you just need to let go. There are no words to adequately describe people like your neighbor. Socially retarded, snobbish, idiotic, self-absorbed assholes, maybe, but so much worse...
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Comments (93)
frozen_heart 0
your neighbor is a selfish ****, but i'm guessing you knew that already. don't worry if something happens to her make sure to kick her on your way past :P
kevinsadrummer4 0
now you should have cursed her out in front of her kid. It could be worse she could be your mom
rlykewl 0
this might be the funniest one ive ever read
justjayit 0
Dude. Your neighbor is such an asshole. I'm sure if his kid fell down and had that kind of damage bad words suddenly wouldn't be such a big deal, huh?
ohfrick 0
lol i would've told her to chill the **** out, they are just words.
HottGurlKira 3
You should tell her to go **** herself... and say it in front of the kid too.
savesam 0
i really just loled. you should have cracked one of her ribs too.
pennygoo 0
duuddeee what a bitch! omg.
ms_876 0
that 4 year old would have heard a lot more than 'shit' if it were me, and her mom would have heard the fun words 'go **** yourself' pretty loudly.
msmil401 0
I hope you let your neighbor know just how many cuss words you had in your vocabulary after that. What an inconsiderate gnat.