Today, I shaved my lady bits for the first time to surprise my husband, who I haven't seen in months due to deployment. I ended up with razor burn and my dim-witted husband believes I cheated on him and that it's an STD. Nothing will tell him otherwise. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my boyfriend is coming over. We haven't seen each other for a while so for a surprise, a few days ago, I decided to shave my pubic hair. I've come up in a huge rash that looks like some sort of infection. Not quite the sexy surprise I was hoping for. FML
Today, I got the courage to surprise my boyfriend by shaving my pubic region. To my agonizingly painful dismay, the razor sliced through an apparent zit on one of my lips. Now my vagina is bleeding for a whole different reason, and I'm possibly traumatized. FML
Today, I used a men's hair removal cream to be smooth for my partner, as a surprise. It turns out that doing that made her think I was cheating on her. FML
Today, it turned out the razor I used for manscaping wasn't as new and sharp as I'd thought. My entire crotch is now overcome with an unfathomable amount of razor burn. FML
Today, my fiancé asked me to do some manscaping. I got a little overzealous and now I look like a 12-year-old boy with razor burn. FML
Today, I shaved my vagina for the first time ever. Had sex with my husband and then asked if he liked that. He said, "You've done that before, though". I haven't. We've been married 15 years. FML
Today, after a lot of begging, I finally convinced my husband to shave all of his pubes off. Now I can't even look at it without laughing, and he's mad at me for making him do it. FML
Today, my husband decided to surprise me with some "sexy" manscaping. When he took his clothes off, I immediately got drier than the Sahara desert. He was going for "porn star" but instead looked like a prepubescent kid, which immediately turned me off. He then got mad at me for “ruining the mood.” FML
Today, I tried shaving my bikini area for the first time. I ended up cutting myself several times. I now have impressive razor burn, and it's incredibly painful to even wear pants. FML
Today, the novelty of shaving a heart into my pubic hair for my wife vanished, when I woke up to find a collection of scabs around my pubes. FML
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Top comments
Nysha 17
<p>It is quick and easy, and it's always a good idea to get tested, but it doesn't solve the problem that OP's husband apparently has zero trust towards them.</p>
kaysheik 16
Why not go get an STD check to show him it's nothing? It's quick and easy
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Comments (36)
Michelle Rae 2
<p>I'm not going to tell you what you should do or pass judgement on anyone. I think the first step is getting tested for STD's to have documentation that you don't have any. The second step is counseling....deployment puts a lot of stress on a marriage and changes it. We all know that our soldiers come back from deployment with PTSD, depression, etc. </p> <p>There's plenty of help out there for your husband and marriage. Don't give up!</p>
Bearsmomma 30
"I'm not going to tell you what you should do..." proceeds with TO-DO list.
Niko1295 4
Jodie strikes again!!
sweetpotato301 7
<p>Why is FML so bad now? Terrible layout, way too many ads, keeps logging me out and now won't let me reply to comments. Word of advice to this site: if it ain't broke, don't fix it. </p>
sweetpotato301 7
<p>Why is FML so bad now? Terrible layout, way too many ads, keeps logging me out and now won't let me reply to comments. Word of advice to this site: if it ain't broke, don't fix it. </p>
crookedtiles 9
For future reference, deoderant prevents razor burn! Yes, even there!
Love_L0ST 13
To be fair a lot of military woes cheat on their husbands while they are on deployment
Psychosorren 0
go get tested and show him your results
mr_dour 16
<p>Lmao classic</p>
WittyReference 8
Shave his "manly bits" then he can learn what razor burn is first hand
izzytakamono 9
In defense of OP's husband and as an army vet, you see women cheating on deployed husbands constantly. It's not so much a trust thing as much as confirmation bias thing.