Today, I shaved my lady bits for the first time to surprise my husband, who I haven't seen in months due to deployment. I ended up with razor burn and my dim-witted husband believes I cheated on him and that it's an STD. Nothing will tell him otherwise. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my boyfriend is coming over. We haven't seen each other for a while so for a surprise, a few days ago, I decided to shave my pubic hair. I've come up in a huge rash that looks like some sort of infection. Not quite the sexy surprise I was hoping for. FML
Today, I got the courage to surprise my boyfriend by shaving my pubic region. To my agonizingly painful dismay, the razor sliced through an apparent zit on one of my lips. Now my vagina is bleeding for a whole different reason, and I'm possibly traumatized. FML
Today, I used a men's hair removal cream to be smooth for my partner, as a surprise. It turns out that doing that made her think I was cheating on her. FML
Today, it turned out the razor I used for manscaping wasn't as new and sharp as I'd thought. My entire crotch is now overcome with an unfathomable amount of razor burn. FML
Today, my fiancé asked me to do some manscaping. I got a little overzealous and now I look like a 12-year-old boy with razor burn. FML
Today, I shaved my vagina for the first time ever. Had sex with my husband and then asked if he liked that. He said, "You've done that before, though". I haven't. We've been married 15 years. FML
Today, after a lot of begging, I finally convinced my husband to shave all of his pubes off. Now I can't even look at it without laughing, and he's mad at me for making him do it. FML
Today, my husband decided to surprise me with some "sexy" manscaping. When he took his clothes off, I immediately got drier than the Sahara desert. He was going for "porn star" but instead looked like a prepubescent kid, which immediately turned me off. He then got mad at me for “ruining the mood.” FML
Today, I tried shaving my bikini area for the first time. I ended up cutting myself several times. I now have impressive razor burn, and it's incredibly painful to even wear pants. FML
Today, the novelty of shaving a heart into my pubic hair for my wife vanished, when I woke up to find a collection of scabs around my pubes. FML
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Top comments
Nysha 17
<p>It is quick and easy, and it's always a good idea to get tested, but it doesn't solve the problem that OP's husband apparently has zero trust towards them.</p>
kaysheik 16
Why not go get an STD check to show him it's nothing? It's quick and easy
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Comments (36)
cumminsncope 4
I hate to say it sweet cheeks but, um, way to go, dumbass.
onceuponatime456 16
<p>HE cheated on YOU while he was on deployment!!</p>
dietcoke09 25
Most military spouses cheat or get cheated on while on deployment. I can see where he's coming from but there should be some trust. Olive oil definitely helps moisturize the skin down there! It should be gone in a day or two.
usnwife 18
No, not "most". Some, yes, but not most. And that alone is never an excuse to not trust someone
dietcoke09 25
Actually most do. And I mentioned that trust is important. I can name 10 married army couples in my age group that I know personally that are in a separation process because of cheating while on deployment. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
darkangel7410 17
No actually it is most. Having been in the military and having lots of military friends is not just some. It's a lot. I've seen it way too often.
xoxoblondee 31
wait this is my FML! I don't know why it didn't link to my account. I can tell you that I do have lady bits, as I am a lady. I did go get it checked (and had him get checked too, which he took at me not trusting him and that was a whole other battle). We were both clean, so that was good. I did waste shaving as it all grew back by the time we got results. After a bit, we tried shaving again and I did MUCH better. no razor burn, no STDs, and finally we had sex. Thanks everyone!
LyricaSilvan 30
I would still sit down and have a serious discussion with him as to why he was so reluctant to trust you. Even if it's not relationship-ruining, it's still a fairly significant issue that he wouldn't let you explain. It's worth sitting down and talking about, if nothing else.
allherenotthere 4
<p>Get yourself a nice sharp new razor and a nice sharp new husband while you're at it. </p>
player69badboy 0
Go out and get an std - that way he will get what he deserves
alaina1104 11
As far as I'm aware, no STD looks like razor burn.
GoddessMadoka 12
<p>Sorry, but your husband is a moron.</p>
GoddessMadoka 12
<p>Sorry, but your husband is a moron.</p>
Quicky5_ 16
My question is why is this your first time shaving your "lady bits" at an age to already be married?