Work: Today, I sent my boss a link to a website I thought would answer... - FML

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I sent my boss a link to a website I thought would answer a simple question she'd asked. Turns out, yes, the site did answer her question, but it also had some very suggestive ads on it. Apparently I'm the only person in the office who uses adblock. FML

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Capitalism kills

Basic Instinct

Phone call anxiety

By Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I was babysitting some kids and helping them make a poster about insects. They couldn't think of any more insects to add so I suggested a spider, and got told to "not be a dumbass, spiders aren't insects they're arachnids." The girl is six. FML

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By hushnow - United States

Today, I had no choice but to shake the hand of a customer, who just moments before, had the aforementioned hand down the front of his pants, scratching his snowglobes. FML

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By Alex - United States - Honolulu

Today, I was at my mom's funeral. My sisters and I were sitting in the front row. The funeral director, whom we had met with twice before, was going around greeting everyone. When she got to us, she asked where our mom was. Seriously? FML

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Milton Keynes

Today, I saw my ex boyfriend walking down the street in my direction. I've put on a bunch of weight since we broke up, so I turned to look in the nearest shop window, hoping he wouldn't notice. Unfortunately he did see me, looking straight at a KFC. FML

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By MrGullible

Today, I found out that not only did I pay for my wife to travel overseas to see her brother but to bang some guy half her age as well. FML

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By Eagle - United States

Today, my mother urged me to "get over this lesbian thing and give me some grandkids." In front of my girlfriend of eleven months. FML

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By NotSoSmart - United States - Ventura

Dr. Phil

Today, in the spirit of being helpful, I accidentally convinced the girl I'm secretly in love with to stay with her boyfriend. FML

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By Uwrongfodat - United States - Denton

Today, I had my college graduation ceremony. As I was walking across the stage, some asshat, in front of over 55,000 students and staff, brazenly ran across the stage, snatched my diploma up out of the president's hand, and ran off. FML

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By Ashley J. - United States

Today, my family gathered at my 96 year old great-grandmother's surprise birthday party that was my idea. When she walked in, we surprised her so much that she literally had a heart attack. She is now in the hospital. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Lombard

Today, I found out that my daughter has been stuffing my push-up bras and lipstick into her backpack, putting them on at school, and taking them off before she gets home. She's 9. The only reason I found out is because her teacher reported me to social services. FML

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By myrie - United States

Today, I asked a guy out on a coffee date, and we started talking about our mutual careers. At the end of the date he asked me if I had any more questions about job opportunities or any more advice, then shook my hand and gave me his contact card. FML

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By daniella101 - United States - Lacombe

Today, my boyfriend finally met my brother. He arrested him for drunk driving. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Du Quoin

Today, I found out why my dad always treated me badly as a kid compared to my siblings. It's because I was conceived while my mom was cheating on him. On top of that, he made it clear that he still doesn't consider me a "real" part of the family. FML

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By got any coupons? - United States

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend of six years. She got mad at me, saying she is too young to get married and that I was trying to ruin her career. She is 32 and works part-time at a grocery store. FML

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By sigh... - United States

Today, after several hours of trying to get my triplet daughters to go to bed, they finally fell asleep. Exhausted, I went to the bathroom so I could go to bed. Not thinking about it, I dropped the toilet seat down rather loudly and flushed the toilet. All three girls woke up crying. FML

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By ...

Today, I realized all of my boyfriend's and my dirty messages were being sent to my mom because I'd logged into messenger on her phone once without logging out. She sat me down and said, "I know your mouth's been on his wee wee." FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Mount Clemens

Today, my girlfriend freaked out, thinking she might be pregnant due to her period being late. I found myself reminding her that one actually has to have had sex recently to become pregnant. We've been living together, sexless, for over a year. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Dearborn

Today, I walked into my elderly client's home for my first day of work. I was immediately hit in the eye with something small, and had to get medical attention for a scratched cornea. It turns out my client likes to clip his toenails right by his front door. FML

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By Anonymous - Australia - Notting Hill

Today, my boyfriend told me he loved me. I asked why, and he said "Because sometimes you look good, and you buy me stuff." FML

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By brittbrat4 - United States

Today, I was teasing my 12 year old little cousin about him liking my best friend. I guess it made him mad because he yelled "Breast cancer!" at the top of his lungs before power-punching my right boob. FML

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By

Today, a guest at my restaurant asked me what a tip was. I had to awkwardly explain to him that servers don't make hourly wages, and we rely on tips from customers to make money. After I finished, he laughed at me, called me a sucker, and stiffed me on a $120 tab. FML

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By noweddingforyou - Canada - Guelph

Today, my girlfriend walked in on me taking a dump, and started plucking her eyebrows. When I told her I was uncomfortable, she said, "Aww, is my baby's poo shy? Is it, is it?" and pinched my cheek. FML

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By Ren - United States

Today, I was at work, the Disney Store. A little boy was crying so I went over to him. After talking to him for a little while I found out he couldn't find his mother. When he became comfortable I went to help him stand up, he choked back his tears and then puked all over me from the waist down. FML

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By Oopsie

Today, I accidentally sent a screenshot of my Tinder conversation to my mom, instead of my friend. Yes, it was dirty. FML

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By Ape - United States

Today, my boyfriend grabbed my boob, shook it savagely, and shouted "Earthquake!" FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, after not seeing my boyfriend for 9 months, he came to meet me at the airport. I was so excited when I first saw him that I broke into a sprint to greet him. Apparently, running through the airport looks suspicious, because a security guard tackled me. Now I have a broken nose. FML

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By missalexa - United States

Today, upon getting out of the shower, I discovered the towel I grabbed off the rack had dried poop on it. Apparently, during my sister's birthday party yesterday, we'd run out of toilet paper. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Placentia

Today, I cleaned out my house and placed multiple boxes of clothes and books in my two-seated truck to take to the Goodwill. While turning onto the highway, everything tumbled on top of me, sending me crashing into a guardrail. FML

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By limecat - United States

Today, I was stopped by a cop while walking down the street. He was slowly trailing me before pulling along side of me and asking how my night was going. He then said, "You know I can't let you do this. Know those new jeans you bought? The sticker is still on the leg" and drove off. FML

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By hwood - United States

Today, my Grandmother was sent to the ER. My family blamed it on her being allergic to my cats, making me feel guilty. She just called me to tell me the test results informed her that she is actually allergic to the carrot cake they got her. I gave my cats away 15 minutes ago to a little girl. FML

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By NotSoSexy - United States

Today, I was on webcam with my boyfriend and absent-mindedly began sucking on a marker. He jokingly told me it was sexy, so I continued while making obscene gestures and moans. Suddenly he began to look nervous. I turned around to see my dad looking at me, disgusted and confused. FML

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By Raven - Canada - Brantford

Today, I went to let my dog inside because she was barking. I saw my neighbour standing at my fence, screaming that she was going to kill my dog with a shovel for barking at her. My dog was only doing it because my neighbor was putting her trash in my garbage bin. This isn't a new thing. FML

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By INeedaNewJob - United States - Kent

Today, my wife received a $15,000 bonus from her work. I got a backpack from mine. FML

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By ChildhoodTerror

Today, my cousin left her undisciplined demon-child at my house for Christmas. This child destroyed the other children's gifts and made so much noise that the neighbors called the police. The adults can't really discipline her while her mother is away, so all we can do is apologize in this child's wake. FML

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By WonderWall09 - United States

Today, I had a terrible dream where my boyfriend cheated on me with his ex. I woke up almost crying and called him just to tell him how much he means to me. Turns out my dream gave him that little extra push he needed to confess he's been cheating on me. With his ex. FML

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By justanaccount - Spain

Today, to ask a boy I really liked to my school's turnabout dance, I gave him a box full of 10 cupcakes that spelled out T-U-R-N-A-B-O-U-T-?. The boy gave the box back a little later. There were two cupcakes left inside. It said N-O. FML

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By Mustang - United States

Today, some jerk super glued leaves and a note onto my car's front windshield. Not only is it directly in front of the driver's seat and makes it nearly impossible to drive, but it won't come off. What makes it worse? I was spending the night at a friend's house and the note was meant for her. FML

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By Anonymous - Spain

Today, I went to a restaurant for lunch. The waiter brought some bread and I started eating it as I waited for him to take my order. When he approached me he looked at me and said, "Don't eat too much bread honey. It'll make you fatter." Not fat, fatter. I never thought of myself as fat. FML

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By Brian - United States

Today, after working all day and putting in hours of overtime, I realized I never clocked in. FML

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By TooLoud - United States - Moorpark

Today, I got a text from my neighbor complaining about my girlfriend and me being too noisy in bed. I'm at work. FML

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Top comments

By saranottelling | 7

#785162 - Wednesday 20 January 2010 0:55

The website the OP sent her boss to had some nasty ads (Probably for porn websites or something similar.) The OP didn't know though because she has adblock (which meant she couldn't see the nasty ads)

By lisaaaar | 0

#785188 - Wednesday 20 January 2010 1:04

Ahaha. Adblock is one of the first things to go on when I help people with their internet.
Oh well. No harm done hopefully OP. Those ads switch out everywhere like crazy.

COMMENTS

By kdrox | 0

#785136 - Wednesday 20 January 2010 0:49

heh

Reply

MacOSXpert | 7

#785316 - Wednesday 20 January 2010 2:10

Let me guess, the suggestive ads were women showing their body parts along with the word 'Evony'

FREE FOREVAR!!!!!

Edit: Look! there's an Evony ad right above us! HAHAHA

Reply

Freeze_fml | 16

#785564 - Wednesday 20 January 2010 4:34

Play for free, my lord!

Plants vs Zombies made an anti Evony ad campaign. Go check it out, funny stuff.

Reply

martic835 | 2

#785838 - Wednesday 20 January 2010 8:50

LMFAO!!!!!

Reply

MacOSXpert | 7

#786077 - Wednesday 20 January 2010 11:40

KEK! Freeze, that was hilarious, thanks for telling me about that :]

Reply

YDIForSure | 0

#787032 - Wednesday 20 January 2010 21:59

Lmao, I hate those evony ads, too. I'm on a random page and it's there....then my parents walk in...

Reply

tangerine_12 | 0

#787190 - Wednesday 20 January 2010 23:29

yeah, i actually dont see what a woman in underwear has anything to do with that game.

Reply

Cjw1220 | 0

#1593828 - Sunday 24 October 2010 9:27

What's wrong with women in underwear?

Reply

Synapse_fml | 0

#2937229 - Wednesday 20 July 2011 13:07

well, nerds play games... most nerds = men... men

By SundayNight_fml | 0

#785137 - Wednesday 20 January 2010 0:49

first

By studentwoes | 2

#785149 - Wednesday 20 January 2010 0:53

that's unfortunate.

By wierdo16 | 0

#785150 - Wednesday 20 January 2010 0:53

lmfao

By Nic_hole | 0

#785152 - Wednesday 20 January 2010 0:53

people will think I'm stupid for this but I'm not sure I get it?? please explain :/

Reply

saranottelling | 7

#785162 - Wednesday 20 January 2010 0:55

The website the OP sent her boss to had some nasty ads (Probably for porn websites or something similar.) The OP didn't know though because she has adblock (which meant she couldn't see the nasty ads)

Reply

SarahSehhati | 40

#6110919 - Thursday 6 November 2014 7:06

Thank you. I didn't get it either. So don't feel dumb #5 :)

By Grey123 | 0

#785156 - Wednesday 20 January 2010 0:54

fail... why the hell do people always brag about being first? nobody cares.

Reply

youngbutwise15 | 5

#785196 - Wednesday 20 January 2010 1:05

#6 is right, first people are more annoying than trolls.

And to the OP, I can't really choose YDI or FYL on this one, I dunno why. What was the question?

Reply

amy397123 | 0

#785788 - Wednesday 20 January 2010 7:45

The first people are trolls, silly.

Reply

Crasken | 0

#786541 - Wednesday 20 January 2010 16:44

not most of the time, they aren't...

By Nic_hole | 0

#785170 - Wednesday 20 January 2010 0:59

ohh okay haha danggg

By danny_94 | 0

#785178 - Wednesday 20 January 2010 1:01

today, while trying to be romantic, i attempted to kiss her...missed, dropped her glasses, we both bent over to pick em up., i stepped on them... >.>

By VanessaVander | 2

#785183 - Wednesday 20 January 2010 1:02

ooo ouch! fyl, but lol

By lisaaaar | 0

#785188 - Wednesday 20 January 2010 1:04

Ahaha. Adblock is one of the first things to go on when I help people with their internet.
Oh well. No harm done hopefully OP. Those ads switch out everywhere like crazy.