Work: Today, I was on a conference call and digital meeting at work...

By hardlyworking - United States

Today, I was on a conference call and digital meeting at work when I got bored and started surfing the Internet. Little did I know that my desktop was being shared. My boss was on the call and saw everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks

7642

You deserved it

37653

Favorite

Work

Not now!

Non-baby fever

Mind your own beeswax

By Anonymous - 20/7/2020 20:02

Live from Salt Lake City

Today, I’m in a polyamorous relationship with my husband and another woman. She has anger issues and has been very abusive to me, and finally told my husband she wants to break up with me. Not him... just me. She’s still sleeping in our bed with him, and I’m sleeping on the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1436

You deserved it

2494

Favorite

By muffingirl - United Kingdom

Today, while lying in bed, my boyfriend reached over and pinched my love handles and said "Where did this muffin top come from?". Then he sang "Do you know the muffin man?" to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29713

You deserved it

8119

Favorite

By Ariel - Israel

Today, I got an "Enlarge your penis" email for the millionth time. I was about to dismiss it when I saw the FW: from my wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks

93207

You deserved it

7740

Favorite

By lifesux - United States

Classic playa move

Today, I had a blind date. When I arrived at our meeting place, I spotted my date, because he was the only one in the bar wearing a nametag. I walked up to him and asked, "Are you John?" He responded, "That depends. Are you Jen?" When I said yes he said, "Then no," and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40339

You deserved it

3813

Favorite

By shaft2112 - Germany - Emsdetten

Today, I was walking on my crutches towards the bus through the rain. The bus driver looked into my eyes, punching the button to close the doors while I was still a few meters away. As he drove off, he kept his eyes on me, while I had to wait for another 15 minutes for the next bus in the rain. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23344

You deserved it

1435

Favorite

By Anonymous - 26/6/2020 05:05

Bitch ass move

Today, my partner and I had bought a short bus to convert to an RV, which is done and we are now ready to move in. That night, after I’m fully out of my place, she informs me she has feelings for my roommate and it’s something she must explore. I'm now homeless and they are traveling around in the conversion. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2180

You deserved it

187

Favorite

By Elliot - United Kingdom

Today, I lifted up my blinds, only for them to detach from the wall, hit me on the head, knock a pile of paper over, spill a can of Pepsi, leave plaster all over the floor and a gaping hole in the wall above my window. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36051

You deserved it

4308

Favorite

By shrimp41 - United States

Today, I realized that the only human being I have talked to in the last three days is the guy at the drive thru. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46805

You deserved it

16203

Favorite

By das_shizzle - 2/5/2020 05:00

Entitled bitch

Today, after telling a student that she had to take the online test on the date that I had assigned, she whined to the vice president of the college, who then told my dean that he needed to do something about it. She made me offer testing days on multiple dates. So much for integrity. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1604

You deserved it

209

Favorite

By Moose - Poland

Today, my boss signed and sent me back my timesheet. He named the PDF file "Timeshit". Now I don't know whether he's terrible at spelling, or just expressed his view of my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13655

You deserved it

1214

Favorite

By Balls - Australia - Abbotsford

Today, for my family, my most impressive quality is I can make spaghetti and meatballs. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3365

You deserved it

513

Favorite

By Anonymous - India - Pune

Today, I decided to introduce my boyfriend to my parents. My dad just looked him dead in the eyes and said, "How much did she pay you? I doubt it was enough." FML

I agree, your life sucks

50336

You deserved it

3818

Favorite

By Adrian16 - Norway

Today, I was vacuuming our house because I wanted to help my parents. I wore a headset while listening to REALLY loud music. The vacuuming job took me two hours and when I took of my headset I noticed that I hadn't started the vacuum cleaner. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11379

You deserved it

65520

Favorite

By Dragoness11 - United Kingdom

Today, at a cheap restaurant, my dad asked me if I wanted a straw. I declined, saying I wanted to do my bit for the environment and not waste plastic when I'm fine without. He grabbed three and dropped them on the sticky table, "just in case." FML

I agree, your life sucks

1590

You deserved it

479

Favorite

By foreverbrown - United States

Today, I was having dinner with my college friends to celebrate the end of our first year. I said really great things about them as individuals. The only thing they had to say to me was, "Thanks for being the token black friend." FML

I agree, your life sucks

27931

You deserved it

3136

Favorite

By Anonymous - 1/2/2021 17:01

Must be one hell of a novel

Today, after 3 years of writing a murder mystery novel that I was really proud of, my dad stole my notebook. He mistook it as my diary and turned it in to the police and apparently I can't have it back because it may be used as evidence. Some of the stories were inspired by real events. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1089

You deserved it

101

Favorite

By Anonymous

Today, I learned what a nail gun shooting my leg feels like. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33151

You deserved it

11943

Favorite

By rockytrolley - Cyprus

Today, my taxi driver kept falling asleep and swerving off the road, so I asked him if he was okay. He stopped and burst out sobbing about the long hours he had to do after his divorce and his wife taking all he had. Long story short, I ended up driving him home and getting a taxi from his place. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43069

You deserved it

3655

Favorite

By AnonymousOne

Today, I took my car to dealer because of the loud knocking sound I heard while driving it. Twenty-four hours later, they told me it was fixed. Fifteen minutes after I drove away, the tire flew off my car while I was on the highway. My car is now totaled. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10958

You deserved it

619

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, a few people in my class used calculators on the math final exam, even though it clearly stated at the top that they weren't allowed. The teacher found out, and now everyone has to retake the 200-question exam. I didn't even use a calculator. FML

I agree, your life sucks

7624

You deserved it

478

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I tried opening a can for the first time using a manual can opener. I tried for a half hour to open a can of ravioli, mutilating the can in the process. Only after watching five Youtube videos on how to use a manual can opener did I notice the pull-tab on the top of the ravioli can. FML

I agree, your life sucks

8831

You deserved it

65563

Favorite

By bkeiya - Japan

Today, I saw my train pulling in to the station. I sprinted up the stairs and luckily made the train. I looked around and no one was in my compartment. I began to notice that the train was heading down some tracks I'd never been too. I got stuck on an empty train for 3 hours in the train garage. FML

I agree, your life sucks

59459

You deserved it

15002

Favorite

By Anonymous - 16/2/2021 19:02 - Mexico - Mexico

Weird flex, but OK

Today, I learned that my mother-in-law gives better head than my wife. How? It wasn't from my experience, but thanks to a casual conversation with my father. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1191

You deserved it

130

Favorite

By human lava lamp - United States - New Britain

Today, I was at the airport, when a lady came up and loudly asked if she could sit next to me. I have serious social issues, so to avoid having to talk to her, I pretended I was deaf and couldn't hear her. She immediately broke out her sign language skills. FML

I agree, your life sucks

16334

You deserved it

49545

Favorite

By fedUPwithPEOPLE - United States - Enterprise

Today, the city shut off our water, because they said we didn't pay the bill. Turns out, it was sitting on their desk the whole time. I guess sending someone out to turn off our water was easier than checking to see if we'd actually paid the bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45382

You deserved it

3207

Favorite

By fmjob - Canada

Today, I finally told my parents I would be changing bedrooms because I could no longer stand hearing them having sex, which is awkward and disturbing. Later, my dad came and asked me quietly if I thought my mom sounded "satisfied." FML

I agree, your life sucks

90009

You deserved it

6222

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Lancaster

Today, my boyfriend of three years, whom I recently got engaged to, asked me to take a photo of my mother's boobs while she was sleeping so that he could see what mine would look like when I got older. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35710

You deserved it

3987

Favorite

By xBubbles38 - United States

Today, I woke up to a scream downstairs. My 13 year-old daughter was trying to bite her little brother's neck. No matter how hard I try, she will not believe that she is NOT and NEVER WILL BE a vampire. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43835

You deserved it

6250

Favorite

By CatWoman - United States

Catboys rise up

Today, I hooked up with a guy who has a Facebook page for his cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11836

You deserved it

39075

Favorite

By Brian - United States - East Wenatchee

Today, while I was cuddling with my girlfriend, she looked at me and leaned in. Thinking she was going to kiss me, I leaned too. Just as we were about to kiss, she screamed "COW KISSES" and somehow managed to lick my eyeball. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32118

You deserved it

5085

Favorite

By paytonallyce - United States - Springfield

Today, I got a bug bite on my boob. I scratched it so much it started bleeding so I put a bandaid on it. Turns out the band-aid had latex in it and I got an allergic reaction to it. The bug bite is still bleeding and the top half of my boob is swollen. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10782

You deserved it

1291

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Saint Paul

Today, I faked a sore throat for the school nurse so I could go home early. It took my dad the rest of the school day just to get there to pick me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9969

You deserved it

48336

Favorite

By Me - United States

Today, while at a stop light, I was rear-ended by a car behind me. The guy got angry at me, because according to him, I should've known that his car has poor braking distance, and so I should've moved forward a few more feet to compensate. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31153

You deserved it

1644

Favorite

By guest - United States

Today, my wife decided that to help her stop smoking, she's also giving up the things that make her crave a cigarette. Sex is one of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks

51982

You deserved it

6652

Favorite

By housedoctor - United Kingdom - Sheffield

Today, after getting back from my interior design class, I told my husband that I learned the golden rule for home decor: "Have nothing in your houses that you do not know to be useful or believe to be beautiful." He looked at me dead in the eyes, and didn't say a word. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40759

You deserved it

6888

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Lacey

Today, I was at my class's band concert. Before the curtain was raised, I helped haul the piano to a different spot so a girl who would've had to stand behind it could be seen. I said, "There, now your mom can see you play!" She responded with, "My mom's blind." FML

I agree, your life sucks

39098

You deserved it

4049

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was running the register at my work and this big lady pulls her wad of cash out of her bra and hands it to me. The bills she handed me were moist. FML

I agree, your life sucks

82141

You deserved it

3856

Favorite

By hamburger - United States - Adrian

Today, my husband wanted to try anal for the first time. His attempt to sound romantic was him saying, "Open your buns, the meat is ready." FML

I agree, your life sucks

61096

You deserved it

8454

Favorite

By cardsftw - United States - Compton

Today, I was so bored that I actually read the iTunes store's terms and conditions. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36069

You deserved it

8358

Favorite

By Levi2411 - 6/1/2021 11:01

Work is hell

Today, I had to do the job of 3 to 4 people. Spending the first half in the bakery by myself, I then had to run over to the deli and cook everything for the day while helping lines of customers. Why? Because 8 people are on Covid leave. Instead of shutting down the department, welcome to hell. FML

I agree, your life sucks

951

You deserved it

1182

Favorite

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By scottovious | 0

#2148933 - Friday 4 March 2011 8:44

Dumb Shit. YDI idiot... get your resume ready...

By badluckwind | 0

#2148940 - Friday 4 March 2011 8:44

as long as you weren't looking at porn!

COMMENTS

By scottovious | 0

#2148933 - Friday 4 March 2011 8:44

Dumb Shit. YDI idiot... get your resume ready...

prinzess_fml | 25

#2149102 - Friday 4 March 2011 11:02

yeah, you should be grateful for having a job. how dare you not appreciate it?

By RinnieRiot | 9

#2148938 - Friday 4 March 2011 8:44

What where you looking at?

i_love_grrr | 0

#2148971 - Friday 4 March 2011 8:48

that's what i was wondering. lol

i_love_grrr | 0

#2148989 - Friday 4 March 2011 8:53

I'm pretty positive you meant were though, not where lol XP

By badluckwind | 0

#2148940 - Friday 4 March 2011 8:44

as long as you weren't looking at porn!

scottovious | 0

#2148963 - Friday 4 March 2011 8:47

The internet is for Porn!

badluckwind | 0

#2149026 - Friday 4 March 2011 9:23

true that.

lerouxmaster | 7

#2149549 - Friday 4 March 2011 16:14

Because I have a huge banana. Wanna taste my banana juice ?

meelo88 | 13

#2149662 - Friday 4 March 2011 16:50

haha Aveune Q!

By wtfbtwily | 0

#2148944 - Friday 4 March 2011 8:44

porn?

XBCX96 | 4

#2149752 - Friday 4 March 2011 17:29

Porn...

By ambowew | 7

#2148952 - Friday 4 March 2011 8:45

So your boss caught you looking at porn during an important conference call, big deal. It's not like you wanted the job, with your behavior.

By marinus_fml | 19

#2148968 - Friday 4 March 2011 8:47

No problem there. Unles of course you were also on webcam wanking over porn....

By Thanatos1206 | 0

#2148969 - Friday 4 March 2011 8:48

Was it 2 girls 1 cup??

scottovious | 0

#2148986 - Friday 4 March 2011 8:53

Worse Yet... A Justin Bieber meets Twilight meets Jersey Shore fansite.

Thanatos1206 | 0

#2148987 - Friday 4 March 2011 8:53

So you're the OP?!

scottovious | 0

#2148994 - Friday 4 March 2011 8:55

Perhaps... then again perhaps I'm just projecting my fantasy on you all... Muah ha ha ha...

AkuskaUK | 6

#2149050 - Friday 4 March 2011 9:42

Ahaha!

By dreamer1015 | 0

#2148995 - Friday 4 March 2011 8:55

Were you looking at porn? Gambling?

By shad93 | 3

#2148997 - Friday 4 March 2011 8:56

........were you jacking off????

By nessaface25 | 14

#2149000 - Friday 4 March 2011 8:59

bahahahaha! what a LOSERRRR!

Rebi3144 | 8

#2149354 - Friday 4 March 2011 14:24

It is unnecessary for those extra R's. I will take them and give them back to the poor children you stole them from.

bachooka | 5

#2149464 - Friday 4 March 2011 15:41

you mean the poo_ children?