Today, I sent everyone a text on my phone book saying, "Happy Star Wars Day!!! May the Fourth be with you!!" I forgot to uncheck my ex-girlfriend's number. She texted back, "One of the many reasons I broke up with you." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got my phone fixed and the lady who was working on it somehow resent all the old text messages in my outbox. One was to my ex saying, "I love you." FML
Today, I felt like letting my ex know just how I felt about all the bullshit he put me through. I dug up his number, typed a long paragraph with lots of pain and emotion, and sent it. The reply was, "No wonder he broke up with you." Thanks, whoever has that number now. FML
Today, I received a "Happy Birthday" text from my ex. I thought maybe she missed me, but when I replied with a polite, "Thank you," they responded with "Sorry, wrong person. However, fuck you." Ouch. Happy birthday to me, indeed. FML
Today, feeling so depressed to the point of having suicidal thoughts, I texted a girl I had a crush on. Her response? "Can you please delete my number, you're getting annoying." FML
Today, I sent out a Happy Snow Day text to 20 of my closest friends. My boyfriend, who doesn't have an iPhone, didn't realize it was a group text. He sent back a text breaking up with me. To all the people in the group message. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My ex just sent me a text. I read it, happy he had remembered. He wanted me to know he has a new girlfriend. FML
Today, I was deleting old contacts on WhatsApp of people I no longer talk to. Later, when I was very tired and was about to go to bed, I sent a text to my boyfriend saying love you and goodnight. It turns out it was actually my ex. Awkward! FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me through a text message. In retaliation, I started typing a long list of everything I hate about her. Just as I pressed the send button, she text me again saying "Just joking. You know I'd never leave you. Love you babe :)" FML
Today, I finally got the girl of my dreams' phone number. After texting her "Hey, is this Stephanie?" I got response saying "Sorry bro, I know how you feel, she did the same thing to me." FML
Today, I sent the texts "I love and miss you babe ;)" and "Shit wrong person" to my ex just so he would think I have a life. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Tsukasa_fml 0
You're better off without her if she can't appreciate that.
JBiz_fml 0
I never new there was a star wars day ...
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (392)
tiltwrestler 0
#29... oh yeah girl, haha you caught me. I was thinking about Star Wars all night, and I even slept in my star wars boxers. Definitely. What can I say? #35... That's what they all say. 1 of my friends used that excuse, until he recently got laid for the first time. Then he said, "well, I made an exception." Lmao ok. Difference? At least he got some eventually. #38... Who made me the authority on what's cool? Uh, well your mom did last night but uh... haha but no really. Nobody thinks star wars is cool, that's anybody. Sometimes we'll joke about it, but nobody seriously thinks star wars is tight anymore. That was yesteryear #41... You sound like a really cool guy. And a ladies man too. I'm sure everybody in your college is just dying to be you. That, uh... that's why you're on FML when you're in college... right? Oh, ok. Gotcha. #59... Football, wrestling, lacrosse. You guessed it... #62... Balls drop? My balls were dropped before you were even born, smallfry. You're still a boy "Organic Voodoo"... Why waste the energy to kick me in the crotch? Why not just get out one of your little voodoo dolls, draw a dick twice as big as yours on it (to signify that it's me), and stick your pins in it? lmfao ps you have no friends
Ifoundaweave 0
I 100% agree with #15
Millybug 0
First off: I need to point out that I am a girl. Second: Today is a wonderful day to celebrate, and your ex is an idiot. Find yourself a gamer girl, we're the best ^.~
taylormarie0216 0
#15 get over yourself and dont be an ass. haha #57 i get it now after you said that! :D OP i love you ahaha. i would go out with you for that. come to think of it... ive gone out with weirder. :D what most people call weird, i call that something different :)
omglyktotally78 0
haha #28......#15 should probably get a kick in the ******....hahaha
StrawberryPiez_ 0
LMFAO NERD.......... HOW OLD ARE YOU,AGAIN?? :P
MsSippi 0
oops i guess i meant 63 not 64 sorry.
wrestler17 0
**** you number 15 I bet you are some insecure pud middle school wrestler
juicyfruit23 0
you actually got a girl to go out with you?!?!?
LilKonvicted 0
Really?