Today, my 5-year-old figured out that if he has a mouthful of...

By Anonymous - 05/06/2019 00:01

Today, my 5-year-old figured out that if he has a mouthful of milk and he blows really hard, he can blow the milk out of his nose like twin fire hoses. I’ve washed the carpet twice in the past day, and my house still stinks of rotten dairy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 828

You deserved it 240

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 27/01/2017 02:00

Today, I saw my little brother drink from the milk carton, gag, and spit the milk back in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 270

You deserved it 478

By richkief76 - 10/05/2011 02:34

Today, I finally found where the awful lingering stench in my house was coming from. My son thought it would be funny to piss in the baby's humidifier. He's 16. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 982

You deserved it 8 335

By spekledworf - 28/08/2012 02:57 - United States - Wrentham

Today, I discovered why the milk in my house has a funny, sweet taste. My family has been pouring the leftover milk from their cereal back into the carton. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 462

You deserved it 2 005

By Anonymous - 26/05/2012 00:15 - United States

Today, my eight-year-old son thought that if he swallowed soap, his farts would smell like soap. The smell of vomit and diarrhea now permeating my house is proof of how wrong he was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 261

You deserved it 2 734

By Anonymous - 04/08/2013 00:46 - United States - Kerman

Today, I was at the store with my kids. My 5-year-old son wanted to carry the milk carton, so I let him. He dropped it and it spilled. I was really embarrassed. Then he decided to get on the floor and lick the milk off the ground. Everyone stared at me accusingly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 292

You deserved it 7 313

That's not how that works

By Anonymous - 27/08/2015 16:18 - Denmark

Today, I came home from a business trip and was greeted by a foul smell. I soon found out my husband accidentally let the milk go bad by leaving it out all day, then tried to solve the problem by "balancing the temperatures" by putting it in the freezer. Oh honey, no. Just no. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 711

You deserved it 1 955

By hisgirl4life - 05/02/2010 13:44 - United States

Today, I laughed so hard my milk went out my nose in front of the boy I liked. Then, since I was laughing so hard about that, I accidentally farted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 198

You deserved it 8 751

By nightmare ass - 15/05/2019 06:11

Today, I let out the most vile, nose-melting dairy curdling fart of my life. The sound didn’t wake me up. But the nightmare I had from how rank smelling it was sure did. My own fart ruined my sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 537

You deserved it 421

By Anonymous - 04/07/2013 16:27 - Germany - K?ln

Today, I actually had to teach my 9-year-old brother how to pour himself a glass of milk, after he burst out in tears when my sister told him to do it himself. His astonishing ignorance also extends to basic hygiene. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 053

You deserved it 4 912

Chain reaction

By Anonymous - 31/08/2020 16:01 - United States - Nashville

Today, my 7-month-old spit up on the floor. My 3-year-old puts their hands in it, sniffed, and puked. Then sticks their hands in their own puke, sniffed, and puked again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 652

You deserved it 246

RichardPencil 30

Wednesday 5 June 2019 0:29

Put some cayenne pepper in the milk. That shit will stop real quick!

BloodyButUnbowed 30

Wednesday 5 June 2019 3:04

Could you let him do it outdoors? He'd still have the fun, and you wouldn't have to clean up.

Comments

RichardPencil 30

Wednesday 5 June 2019 0:29

Put some cayenne pepper in the milk. That shit will stop real quick!

dancingcats 5

Thursday 6 June 2019 20:14

that would be child abuse. and would probably cause him to bleed profusely from his nose

RichardPencil 30

Thursday 6 June 2019 21:51

Who would be stupid enough to take child-rearing tips from the comments section of FML? The kid would taste the pepper anyways.

HistoryHasEyes 19

Thursday 24 September 2020 9:23

Wouldn't the milk just cancel out the spice?

mr_dinzaster 16

Wednesday 5 June 2019 1:50

He is a awesome kid lol

BloodyButUnbowed 30

Wednesday 5 June 2019 3:04

Could you let him do it outdoors? He'd still have the fun, and you wouldn't have to clean up.

rebelwithmouseyhair 18

Wednesday 5 June 2019 10:43

yeah and use water not milk! I'd ban milk until he'd got that lark out of his system.

Cody Vertigo Bonthoux 15

Wednesday 5 June 2019 11:32

waste of milk

Charlie Given 26

Wednesday 5 June 2019 4:41

Umm ya better get him to stop before he has a serious sinus infection

SpaceshipOnAcid 9

Monday 10 June 2019 5:05

Hate to sound harsh but if OP can't get him to stop, maybe that's what needs to happen for him to learn not to do it.

Cody Vertigo Bonthoux 15

Wednesday 5 June 2019 11:32

plug his nose next time

StagGT 13

Wednesday 5 June 2019 19:22

YDI, DHK

Razell 13

Wednesday 5 June 2019 21:17

Slap him upside the head every time he does it. That'll stop it right quick. Or better yet, make <i>him</i> clean the carpet. Also, vodka or baking soda (applied to the carpet, not to you) might make the smell go away.