Today, I saw my crush standing at the bus stop. I did the "I'm talking to someone on the phone thing," trying to be cool. Halfway through the conversation my phone actually rang, I quickly answered but it was my mom on loudspeaker yelling, "Did you bring your tampons?" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went shopping with my Mom. I ran into my crush. A school dance is soon and he WAS just about to ask something but my mom glanced over and yelled "TAMPONS OR PADS, SWEETIE?!" He then changed his question to "Haha, so which?" And before I could say a word, my mother answered for me. FML
Today, I was talking on the phone to my crush so I went into the bathroom for some privacy. My drunk mother started banging on the door, asking what I was doing in there. I told her that I was on the phone, so she yelled super loud, "While you're shitting?" He immediately hung up. FML
Today, I called my mom to tell her that I finally got my period. There was an awkward pause. She was at work. I was on speakerphone. FML
Today, the phone rang so I went to answer it. No one was there. A minute later the phone rang again and no one answered so I assumed it was a telemarketer or a prank so I started swearing uncontrollably in rage. Turns out it was my crush calling to ask me out, but she was too nervous to ask. FML
Today, I somehow managed to FaceTime my crush instead of texting him. I panicked, dropped my phone, then answered the call with an unflattering close-up of my forehead. FML
Today, I gathered the courage to ask my crush on a date. As I called her, she quickly answered and said "Can't talk right now, I'm in a movie theater." and then hung up. I'd called her home phone. FML
Today, someone knocked at my door. I saw it was my Mom, so I flattened myself against the door and tried to be as quiet as possible. I pulled my phone out and almost had silenced it before she called and heard the ringtone through the door. I had to invite her in and hear the usual "get married and have kids." FML
Today, I was Skyping with a guy I'm really into. I'm not supposed to Skype at night, so when I heard my mum coming, I minimized the window. She walked in before I could mute my mic and started bitching me out for flushing my tampons down the toilet. FML
Today, I went to visit my Grandmother, accidentally leaving my phone home during the weekend. When I got back I had 2 texts from my crush. One saying "I want to take the most beautiful girl to prom, go with me?" and the other saying, "Fine fattie, I'll ask someone else." FML
Today, I got my crush's phone number. I started texting him and once I told him who it was, he stopped replying. FML
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Top comments
epoh_fml 0
Not only did you make yourself look foolish, but your mom helped too. Congrats on "looking cool" though.
greeneyedgoalie7 0
yeahhhh that sucks lol but ydi
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Comments (128)
drzhottie148 0
so did you bring the tampons?
greeneyedgoalie7 0
hahahahaha
oh_dee 0
Yeah, yeah, yeah....I don't get why people think talking on the phone makes them look cool...and come on, be less stupid and at least put your phone on silent!
Butterfly_Kisses_fml 0
it makes them look like they have a life-like they had someone to talk to.
XxRyanxX300 0
suddenly talking on the phone makes u look cool? btw ur mom totally wins for that comment
duckie227 22
next time remember the 'silent' or 'vibrate' features. they work wonders.
snowking_fml 0
now that's embarrassing
ilovechuux13 0
this is a total movie cliche. I don't know if I believe it
JP101 0
Not really sure how "Talking on the phone" makes you look cool. Just don't make eye contact if you don't want to say anything. The "phone" thing is only for emergency situations when you need to get AWAY from the person you're talking to.
ilikepie789 0
i know seriously
nomnommonster 0
When did pretending to talk to someone become "cool"?
Shokz992 0
Since they read an FML about it and thought it sounded like a good idea... Which is probably exactly why it isn't.
gurlucrazy 0
talking on the phone often comes off as obnoxious you should've just pretended to be texting
killabee 0
Understandable that you don't want to just stand there twiddling your thumbs, but next time how about you say "Hey!" to your crush or if you're really just to shy, try actually calling somebody...Like your mom, "Don't worry mom, I remembered the tampons." Did you in fact? Because that might turn out to be more embarrassing than a little fake phone call.