Today, I returned a rental car and almost got charged extra for the "funky and rotten" smell in the car. I blamed it on a sausage roll, not having the heart to tell the woman it was my fart from a minute before. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I farted while I was in the car with my driving instructor and my partner. They couldn't hear it, but it smelled so bad that my instructor thought there was a gas leak, and he made us switch cars. FML
Today, while on a date, I desperately let out a stealth fart in my date's car. I didn't have the nerve to own up to it, even as he started panicking and thinking the smell was coming from his engine. FML
Today, I was calling my husband while driving. While the phone rang, I farted. As soon as the horrid smell hit my nose, my husband answered. I panicked and hung up quickly, thinking to myself how embarrassed I was because he could smell it. I'm an idiot. FML
Today, at the coffee shop where I work, my supervisor smelled "something weird, like sulfur." I spent the next ten minutes pretending to look for the source of the smell with her, rather than admit that it had come from me. FML
Today, my boss offered to give me a ride on her way home. Two seconds before getting into the car, I had to let out a fart. I didn't think the fart would follow me in, but it did. She rolled down the windows, and we lapsed into a silent, awkward ride home. FML
Today, I waited for 20 minutes to get a cab outside grand central station in New York (it was raining). Finally, to my relief, I found a cab but when I got in I let a little fart slip. Two minutes later the cabby kicked me out of his cab because I stunk. FML
Today, my mom and I had a fight in the car over who farted. The result? She wanted to smell my underwear when we got home, to prove it was me. FML
Today, I got kicked out of an Uber for "smelling bad." FML
Today, my girlfriend let out a vile fart in an Uber. It stank so bad, the driver threatened to kick us out. She blamed it on me and called me a pig. Then, she ripped another one, and he actually did kick us out. She had the nerve to act hurt when I called a second Uber only for myself. FML
Today, I kept smelling the pleasant odor of baking bread while driving around. Tonight, I realized that the smell of yeast was actually coming from a cup of moldy smoothie that got missed and left in a cup holder in the back of my car. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Jasim 17
Who farts in something you're about to return?
WoldowJR 25
Incoming "what a stinky situation" comments.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (52)
WoldowJR 25
Incoming "what a stinky situation" comments.
Delta329 13
That stinks.
kindasortayeah 25
2, you are part of the problem.
Delta329 13
What problem? I see now problem here.
WoldowJR 25
The continued, never ending spread of cringe inducing puns is a problem, 28
Delta329 13
31, if you honestly think that bad puns on FML are a serious problem, I think you need a priority check.
kindasortayeah 25
If you were expressing your sympathy, then stating it in a comment about stinky puns, you put it in the wrong place. If that is the case, I apologize, but you might want to check where you comment next time. FML is intended to be a fun place, so lets not argue :)
R2Y2 22
That's a good outlook, but it's the internet.
WoldowJR 25
32: it's not just that they're on FML. It's that their existence is accepted. Give it 2 years, the puns will show up in real life, all because not enough of us spoke up.
WoldowJR 25
It seems that FML has finally turned on my insanity. Ok
crushcrusher 33
maybe you should've bring some air freshener incase these kind of situation happens.
royal_ranger 12
Well he said it was a minute ago. So I assume he wasn't already carrying some air freshener with him.
kindasortayeah 25
Whenever my family uses a rental car, we leave an air freshener in it when we return it, just as a courtesy thing.
Jasim 17
Who farts in something you're about to return?
royal_ranger 12
When you gotta let it rip, let it rip.
Soloman212 28
I thought you HAD to refill the gas!
NotGabe 28
There was this one time a valet employee returned my car to me. He walked away so fast before I had the opportunity to tip him. I then realized he left an aromatic gift behind.
feelingold 18
If this is a game, #22 just won.
Deniedmydignity 12
Oh that's nasty *Cleveland voice
howard007 18
Just tell the truth its probably the last time you'll ever see her anyways. Wear it loud and proud lmao
stupidface15 16
you should have blamed it on your uncontrollable need to get funky. then start a dance off. and if you win you keep the car
royal_ranger 12
What?...
stupidface15 16
sounds like a smelly situation
tony1891 22
funky and rotten smell. must have had taco bell last night right?
False_Stupidity 42
No, I think Taco Bell would've resulted in a shart.
xluciferx666 21
You are a brave soul for trusting the fart
dutchy86 20
"don't be gentle, its a rental" lol
ndnpride88 25
Shitty lol
buckdharma 38
Explain that the contract specified that you gas it up before returning.