Today, I resorted to the oldest prank in the book: laxatives in the food. Except it wasn't for a prank, but just a desperate attempt to get my clingy boyfriend to leave me the hell alone. I think I'm going to hell. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend made me a latte. It tasted off, but I didn't want to hurt his feelings so I drank it. Turns out he put laxatives in it as a prank. The idiot couldn’t just use one or two. He used so many that I had to go to the ER for severe dehydration after puking and shitting for hours. FML
Today, my mom was acting really pissy, and I couldn't help but mutter that she must be on her period. Five hours later, I'm glued to the toilet with my phone, because she went all out for revenge and spiked my dinner with some hellishly potent kind of laxative. FML
Today, I finally decided to get back at my roommates for eating all my food. First thing that kept disappearing was my water, so I decided to add lots of laxatives to my water this way the first person to go to the bathroom nonstop was the culprit. I forgot I had done that when I drank some myself. FML
Today, I got sick of my flatmate stealing my food so I decided to sabotage a leftover pizza with laxatives. I came back home later in the evening after a night of heavy drinking. Guess what I had to eat in my drunken stupor. FML
Today, my boyfriend fed me chocolate chip cookies with laxatives in them because he was concerned I did not poop enough. FML
Today, I decided to prank my boyfriend by putting a pair of panties in his coat pocket. I stormed in and confronted him with the "evidence". I guess the prank worked; he broke down and confessed to cheating on me. FML
Today, my husband has both arms broken, and I have to help him in the bathroom. Not the problem. My girlfriends and I have been pranking each other lately and it's been fun, but they decided to slip my husband slip him some laxatives so that I would have to clean him him. FML
Today, I have been victimised by a lunch thief at work for months, despite numerous complaints to management, so I exposed the thief by lacing my curry with that old classic, laxatives. Even though my coworker was caught brown-handed shitting himself, I was the one suspended for making him sick. FML
Today, I was constipated and so desperate to go that I ate an entire box of laxatives. Now I'm in the hospital on a saline drip for dehydration and malnutrition, in addition to getting a massive enema and having the most agonizing shit of my life. FML
Today, as revenge for a prank I played on him last week, my brother took things way too far and loaded my milkshake with so many chocolate laxatives, I’m now in hospital. I’ve had so much diarrhoea in the past few hours, I’m dangerously dehydrated and had to be put on a saline drip. FML
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Top comments
expectcriticism 13
if you have to go to such drastic measures then maybe you shouldn't be with him.
J215B 33
Perhaps you should just break up with him rather than do him bodily harm... Just a suggestion.
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Comments (71)
TcheQ 12
Grow some balls and say you need some alone time. Or alternatively grow some balls.
billiejoe7 10
Uh how about dump him?
netdemon 11
Best FML ever
Will21 14
You should either break up with him or be honest with him because by not telling him he probably doesn't realize he is being clingy
HeyTherexxx 21
If you're willing to go to such drastic and extreme measures, it's time to break it off.
Cherryta 17
Use your words and tell him to give you some space.
abnormalbird 11
That is one shitty situa- ENOUGH WITH THAT PUN
superdom 12
Your a real bitch tell him u need some privacy what's next poison the guy I bet he loves u too
grgnyce 8
OP, maybe you should have taken the laxatives yourself; so you'd have that alone time on the thrown!
jtea 10
Sounds like time to break up, you're at that point where you're in a relationship to be in one.