Today, I resorted to the oldest prank in the book: laxatives in the food. Except it wasn't for a prank, but just a desperate attempt to get my clingy boyfriend to leave me the hell alone. I think I'm going to hell. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend made me a latte. It tasted off, but I didn't want to hurt his feelings so I drank it. Turns out he put laxatives in it as a prank. The idiot couldn’t just use one or two. He used so many that I had to go to the ER for severe dehydration after puking and shitting for hours. FML
Today, my mom was acting really pissy, and I couldn't help but mutter that she must be on her period. Five hours later, I'm glued to the toilet with my phone, because she went all out for revenge and spiked my dinner with some hellishly potent kind of laxative. FML
Today, I finally decided to get back at my roommates for eating all my food. First thing that kept disappearing was my water, so I decided to add lots of laxatives to my water this way the first person to go to the bathroom nonstop was the culprit. I forgot I had done that when I drank some myself. FML
Today, I got sick of my flatmate stealing my food so I decided to sabotage a leftover pizza with laxatives. I came back home later in the evening after a night of heavy drinking. Guess what I had to eat in my drunken stupor. FML
Today, my boyfriend fed me chocolate chip cookies with laxatives in them because he was concerned I did not poop enough. FML
Today, I decided to prank my boyfriend by putting a pair of panties in his coat pocket. I stormed in and confronted him with the "evidence". I guess the prank worked; he broke down and confessed to cheating on me. FML
Today, my husband has both arms broken, and I have to help him in the bathroom. Not the problem. My girlfriends and I have been pranking each other lately and it's been fun, but they decided to slip my husband slip him some laxatives so that I would have to clean him him. FML
Today, I have been victimised by a lunch thief at work for months, despite numerous complaints to management, so I exposed the thief by lacing my curry with that old classic, laxatives. Even though my coworker was caught brown-handed shitting himself, I was the one suspended for making him sick. FML
Today, I was constipated and so desperate to go that I ate an entire box of laxatives. Now I'm in the hospital on a saline drip for dehydration and malnutrition, in addition to getting a massive enema and having the most agonizing shit of my life. FML
Today, as revenge for a prank I played on him last week, my brother took things way too far and loaded my milkshake with so many chocolate laxatives, I’m now in hospital. I’ve had so much diarrhoea in the past few hours, I’m dangerously dehydrated and had to be put on a saline drip. FML
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Top comments
expectcriticism 13
if you have to go to such drastic measures then maybe you shouldn't be with him.
J215B 33
Perhaps you should just break up with him rather than do him bodily harm... Just a suggestion.
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Comments (71)
UberSchluh 1
Lace it with LSD, that always works.
EricdaTruffle 3
I bet you don't even have a boyfriend and your making up this story just so the internet thinks you have a life.
itsfreakinliv 8
That's so shitty... Pun intended.
Aero_x 21
that is pretty harsh for being clingy. if you don't like him just break up with him. i would rather be told i was clingy and save myself from shatting all over the place.
PunkPrincess_fml 11
That is ****** up. How about communication and counseling?
Fishy332211_fml 10
Is your boyfriend your cousin?
sharond23 10
you are really a bitch. break up with him...don't drug him.
moonmoon 5
How about instead of sneaking medication into someone’s food, put your big kid pants on and talk to your partner. Relationships built on shit will end in shit and you will deserve it
zoelog 10
might I suggest breaking up with him? if you will go to such a low length to get away from him then he shouldn't be your boyfriend. ydi
pizzadaddy 10
That's called 'dosing', and it's actually illegal. what you did is held to the same lawful judgment as spiking someone drinking with roofies. Grow the **** up.