By Annonymous_Dad - 01/05/2013 23:22 - United States - Fort Wayne

Today, the neighbors in the next apartment reported me to the police for screaming at my newborn to "shut the hell up" every time he cries. I would never yell at my baby. My asshole of a dog on the other hand barks at everything, which terrifies the baby, causing him to cry. FML
I agree, your life sucks 46 827
You deserved it 6 072

Annonymous_Dad tells us more.

Annonymous_Dad 4

My dog IS trained. Generally, he just needs to be told "heel" or "quiet" and he obeys. However, ever since the baby has come home ( 3 weeks) hes gone into super protective mode. A car door slams and hes "killer guard dog". Its getting ridiculous and I do get exasperated when it happens multiple times within a half hour. He DOES listen when I yell, because its not something I have ever done with him. Afterwards, however, we go through the "heel" command and give treats. He just hasnt settled down yet! Maybe Ill just start yelling "Heel Killer!!" ( totally kidding, calm down, no more yelling for me)

Top comments

Get the dog looked after by someone else for a little while or train it not to bark... I bet having a new born and a barking dog is going to ensure you get very little sleep.

You don't abandon family members because they "won't shut up".


Get the dog looked after by someone else for a little while or train it not to bark... I bet having a new born and a barking dog is going to ensure you get very little sleep.

thatsucks4you 7

I agree! My friend's Doxie barks at everything. He's a ********. But he's been better around their baby. Had someone else take him for 2 weeks and bring the baby by there every day so the dog would be comfortable. Either that, you you get a shock collar for that thing!

A shock collar? That's just stupid. Why not train the dog a humane way instead? Anyone who consider using a shock collar should sell the dog to someone who can take care of it without being an irresponsible, awful owner and trainer.

#7, I was with you right up til your last sentence.

Better to get it professionally trained than leaving it to be taken care of by someone else


I want to get a shock collar but not for a dog I have always wanted to try it on... come on I can't be the only one!

Shock collars are for people who are too lazy/useless to actually train their dogs properly. Same goes for choke-chains. When I worked as a vet assistant, there were so many dogs who'd come in with injured (or even permanently damaged) throats, because people thought the point of choke-chains was to pull really hard until your dog stops breathing if they do something wrong, or their dog would have burnt skin because they bought cheap, dodgy shock collars from overseas on ebay. Urrghh it was so frustrating, especially seeing the same people come in over and over, even though you told them to stop doing what they were doing. Really, a body or face harness are better options. They make it much easier to control a dog, and don't have the awful bonus of choking/shocking the dog. Same goes for the OP. A few weeks at a dog-training school will probably fix it's barking problem. It's sad...people want dogs, but many forget that they are a living creature that won't just do whatever you want it to do. You have to put in the hard-yards.

I think shock collars can be effective when used properly. One of my dogs would jump over the fence in my parents'(very large) backyard. I used a shock collar to train him, within a week he stopped attempting to jump the fence. Many invisible fence companies use the same technology as shock collars. Instead of a manual shock, it's automatic when the dog approaches the fence line.

#37, my dog, as many other young dogs, every now and then does something he's not allowed to, because he doens'y know it's not okay. Chew on socks when he was younger, chase after birds without my permission, try yo take stuff from the table.. I taught him that it's not okay, by simply teaching him a word that means he can't do it - NO. Without anything but my voice. It's not that hard, and if you can't do it without using shock collars or any other crap - Don't get a dog. It may take more time than using those shitty methods you do, but it's worth it, without doubt.

I would never use a shock collar there are water collars that just spray them even then I don't think I can use that.....

"I think shock collars can be effective when used properly." Define "properly". Because I'd love to know how shocking a dog whenever it does something bad is better than actually training your dog with words, treats, praise and appropriate discipline. There's a reason training schools and rehabilitation trainers don't use shock collars. Because it isn't necessary. And it's just lazy and cruel.

SynysterNero 20

If you think a shock collar is ok you don't need a dog. I just needed a squirt bottle full of water for my dog and she's one of the best behaved dogs around now.

LazyDaisy42 4

I can honestly say they are not inhumane and they are not just for lazy people. I have a coonhound who disturbs our neighbors she barks so loud. She is perfectly trained, but she will not listen to the 'quiet' command. Before I put the collar on her, I tried it on myself, and it just felt like it was vibrating against my throat. It is not painful, just a weird sensation, so unless you're putting one on a really small dog, they're not inhumane. However, they aren't as effective as you'd think, my dog got used to it very fast and just barks right through it most of the time now.

we used a shock Collar on our mini Doxie for a about a month because she gets violently protective when she gets ahold of food. but we never had to use it again after that

We have an invisible fence for our dogs, when they approach the fence they hear a beeping, and when they get too close it shocked them, so eventually they would associate the shock with the beeping. Unfortunately, there were a few mishaps at first, but now we usually have rubber covering the prongs and they don't go beyond the fence. We still take them for walks sometimes too, using a harness instead of the shock collar.

You can get collars that spray them with a really powerful lemony smell, dogs really don't like it, but it doesn't hurt them

If you EVER you a shock collar on a dog you shouldn't own one. Yes it may a while to train your dog the correct way by teaching him right from wrong but cheap methods like the such said shock collars choke chains etc. is inhumane

The change if the new baby most likely what is causing this. One the dog adjusts, he should respond like he use to. When I started fostering, Sid became quite the spoiled brat. He even peed on the floor the first night which he hasn't done since being house broken as a pup. Didn't take long for him to get use to things. And he didn't need extra training. He did however need reassurance and extra love during the initial change. I just brought the 3rd foster dog home and things are fine. Much like people, big changes effect animals too. It doesn't always mean run right off for more training which can be time consuming and expensive, especially with a baby around. The dog may also be picking up on the mood change of his humans. Usually with a new baby, new parents can be a little on edge where the baby is concerned. Could be the situation which is putting the dog into guard mode.

Wow, people on this thread are really hateful :( I love my puppies. I do my best to train them and keep them safe. Usually I never look back on comments I've made, but OP commented on this FML, so I did look back. Never again. I don't need this negativity in my life!

DenBriZel 31

^No one cares If you don't need this negativity then just don't comment ever again. Don't comment back saying something stupid like that like you're expecting people to beg you ti stay, or apologize. It's the Internet. NO ONE GIVES A ****.

flockz 19

simple mistake. i'm sure if you start yelling "shut up bitch!!!" this could have all been avoided.

californiapoppy 11

Still inappropriate in front of a baby they will pick up on it no matter the age


Come on man that wont help who is going to want to have their newborn yelling at people "shut up bitch before I smack you up side the head with my iphone!" kids now a days don't fear getting punished like they usto.

9, it specifically says newborn. A newborn can't speak, or anything for that matter, other than shit itself and cry.

@9: The person you are responding to was joking, but, I'm pretty sure that if you swear in front of a newborn, they aren't going to start trash talking. Plus, some people don't really think that swearing is wrong(It's only sounds, and it's really about the context you use it in that makes it offensive, plus, some non-swear words can be used offensively, so, it is really arguable about if it's really that offensive), and the main concern would be making sure their child wouldn't be yelling "BIIIITCH" in public, but, to some people, swearing isn't really inappropriate.

tj5810 21

Perhaps some training classes could be beneficial. Yelling isn't going to solve anything. The dog doesn't understand and you're just upsetting the baby even more.

Some dogs do understand it- mine knows when we yell at her she really must stop barking.

Exactly. Dogs just see it as you, their pack leader, being upset and agitated, which validates their being upset and agitated too. As annoying as it is to have your dog bark at every little leaf blowing across the yard, you have to keep cool so they learn it's not something they need to worry about.

My dogs understand when I say "no barking". However, they also know that if I'm nursing the baby, I won't actually get up and make them stop. Too smart for their own good.

I understand your frustration with your dog- trust me there- but maybe you could just train it- or get someone else to for a little while..?

Try to train your fog to be quiet, or get the dog in a training class.

Bad fog! Stop messing with my sight.


It's too foggy I can't hear you!

It's not like your dog is going to understand "shut the hell up"... If he barks at everything, maybe have someone look after him for you so you and your newborn can get some rest without any complaints and/or disruptions!

My dog does understand that. She picks up words really quickly- like she knows what "walk" is and we never taught her the word. She just picked it up from when we say it to each other. Similarly, after repeatedly yelling "shut up" to her when she barked and moving as if to hit her, she understands what shut up means now.

Why on earth would you move as if to hit her? I'd never want my dog to belive that is he does something unwanted, I'll hit him. Some nice relationship you must have with your pets..

Dogs are smart as hell. They can still detect the anger and scariness in your voice or face...

34, dogs don't exactly respond the same way humans do. Punishing your dog once in a while will make it understand that you are in control. And believe it or not, the bond between the owner and the dog will only strengthen.

When my dogs were puppies, they chewed the carpet. A good punch to the top of the head later and in 20 years they've never done it a second time. ''But it's cruel blah hurting it blah'', yes it hurts, but it was much quicker and easier for the dog to remember than constantly going 'NO! Naughty doggy!' and waggling my finger at it. As #38 says, it's merely pack leader installing some discipline.

And why would you have to do it the "quick and easy" way instead of the better? Because you're lazy and shouldn't have a dog. The dog understands the tone of your voice and body language, so it understands if it has done something bad by just that. It takes longer for some dogs to learn, but still. Better than to be an awful human who doesn't deserve the company of an animal.

My dog understands "**** off". Even when said quietly.

when dogs are puppies the mother bites their ears to assert dominance. and in the guys case earlier, if you spend 4 months teaching your dogs not to chew the carpet the "humane" way you won't have a carpet

Good to know you can keep your cool in any situation ever 8.

And I'm guessing those who don't think it's ok to punish your dogs don't think it's ok to punish your children either. A spank now and then doesn't effect them, they need to understand who makes the rules and that they need to respect them. It's not bad parenting or bad pet owning, it's discipline. (No I'm not saying you should beat on them but every once in a while a tap won't hurt them)

I've never hit my dog but sometimes she won't stop barking if someone new is at the house, as she is very territorial by nature. The only way to make her stop is to act angry at her (yell shut up and move as if it hit her) and she does.

Try operant conditioning with lots of positive reinforcement. The act of you yelling at the dog every time he barks makes it worse because you are reinforcing a behavior. In the other hand if you constantly reinforce to NOT bark or to stop barking on command that's a good way to go. Again, it's all about lots of positive reinforcement :)

fylx100 19

While we're talking about dogs, I'd like to say yours is a cutie. Wish I could see see her/his face though. It's a little cut off.

*Sigh* SOME people just have NO consideration for the third-variable confound. Speaking of which, did you know that when ice cream sales rise, so do death rates of infants and old people?

#19 > I disagree. His neighbour did the right thing if he thought there was a baby being abused. Clearly he got it wrong but better be safe than sorry. We hear too many stories of kids being abused and neglected and the neighbours turning a blind eye.

Also not good for the dog and can often cause problems in other areas of training.

Or, y'know, being a responsible pet owner by taking time to properly train your dog instead of shocking it into submission.

tj5810 21

I'd like to put the shock collar on you and see if that keeps you quiet...

toalysium 15

Do they make shock collars in infant size?

hippo1234 19

Actually, I agree. When used properly, a shock collar can be very effective. My dog is a springer spaniel who is hunting trained and can climb fences. That means she LOVES to chase birds, deer, and anything else and can escape from any yard. We have an electric fence to keep her in the yard, and a shock collar for hunting. Both are rarely used. She knows the boundaries of her yard and proper hunting form. But both are for her safety. She could get hit by a car, get lost, get shot, or hurt herself in some other way. Training a dog with a shock collar isn't cruel if you aren't cruel about using it.

hold the phone...are you saying this dog doesn't UNDERSTAND you, even when you say it real loud?? what a fool. time to send his ass back to puppy school.