Today, I received a friend request on Facebook from my biological father, who I have never met in my life. As I was scrolling through his hobbies and interests, I saw "Drinking," "Black women with big asses," and "Getting laid, lol." FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I found my biological father, who I have never met, on facebook and decided to message him. He blocked me. FML
Today, I received a friend request from a boyfriend I hadn't talked to in 20+ years. A few minutes later, he messaged me a picture of himself with a young woman at a strip club. My daughter. FML
Today, I found out that my dad recently created a Facebook account for himself. So I friended him. He refuses to accept my friend request. He did, however, accept my sister's. FML
Today, my father who left my family over 10 years ago and never contacted us or paid child support, poked me on Facebook. FML
Today, I got on Facebook and realized the only two friend requests I've had in 2 months are both from my parents. FML
Today, I received an email invitation to a dating web site. It was from my father-in-law. FML
Today, after nearly three years of no contact whatsoever, I received a Facebook notification from my father. Eager to see what he said, I pulled it up only to see a game request. He had run out of lives on Candy Crush. FML
Today, I realized I'm pregnant by a man who won't even accept my Facebook friend request. FML
Today, I was looking at my friend's dad's Facebook pictures because he recently posted a status update. I saw him at a bar with some ugly hooker that he was feeling up in almost every picture. After about 10 minutes of ridiculing and laughing at this ugly woman, I realize it's my mom in a wig. FML
Today, I logged onto Facebook and found out that my own mother unfriended me because she didn't want her new boyfriend to know that she had a daughter. FML
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Top comments
EvilDoll 7
well as long as you're not a black woman with a large bottom, I don't think you need to worry
twinny_sc 13
#12 you fail.
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Comments (156)
Garytt 0
big bottoms?
mexicotoucher 7
yes. like the opposite of small tops.
Swar_fml 3
Fat bottomed girls make the rocking world go round, as a few wise men once said.
iamthelaw 1
I would like to party with your dad
Lisa89 3
This is why you should be glad you never met him before! Some people are better and safer out of your life, biologically related or not!
krisna_fml 0
I think your dad also like him only......
old09 11
well at least you know where you get it now
ILoveTabz 0
ahahah. and THIS is why you were never in the picture...
Mean_Mr_Mustard 9
It could have been worse. he could have been all of the above and a NASCAR loving, wife beater wearing, at home beer making, crusty sock wearing, road kill eating, butt crack itching, non-teeth brushing, banjo playing, insest participant and product, un-deodorized two toothed hill-billy trailer trash who's front yard looks like a junk yard and thinks moon shine is a delicacy.
syntaxerror_fml 0
...wow.... ...... daddy issues much?....
Mean_Mr_Mustard 9
lol, no my father is actually wonderful. One of the only people I can look to for sound advise. I'm just saying that it could have been worse. is worse lol.
TheDrifter 24
It's entirely possible he is, op didn't specify. But other than the legalities and genetic mutation issues of incest, what's wrong with that?
sxe_beast 11
You misspelt incest*.
RedPillSucks 33
What's wrong with banjo playing and nascar? As long as you don't do them at the same time....
Mean_Mr_Mustard 9
75- I am talking take your trailer to the race, get piss drunk and flash everyone your unshaven goods fifteen minutes in, all while playing a banjo, lol. 71- About the spelling error, I tried to look it up because it didn't look right to me, it said it was right so I was like alright google, if you say so... damn google. =D 67- Quite a bit, actually lol. People like this are the shit stains on th underwear that is society. haha Yes, I laugh at my own jokes. I think I am ******* hilarious! The best thing before, during, and after sliced bread. =D Ego much? I think so. =D
butterflyz1961 2
So, what's wrong with black women with big butts?
magerleads 0
hahahahahagahahahah
BBBBOOOOYYYU 3
Canada for you!