Today, I realized the moans I make when masturbating sound like I'm crying. I realized this when my neighbor pounded on the door asking if I was okay. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Same thing different taste
Today, I woke up to the sound of my neighbor pleasuring himself. FML
Today, I found out the "sex noises" I heard from next door last night, which I'd angrily yelled at my neighbor for, were actually from him having an uncontrollable seizure. FML
Lock your doors
Today, I was touching myself in my room. Just as I hit the climax, my mom walked in because she heard me making noises and thought I was having a nightmare. FML
Sexy time
Today, I heard some rhythmic moaning from the apartment next door. It took me 10 minutes to realize that my neighbor was not having it off, she was actually vacuuming her apartment. It's been so long since I've had sex that I can't even recognize the sound of other people having it. FML
Crank
Today, I realized that I'm so lonely I can no longer whack off without bursting into tears and crying like a little bitch. FML
Today, I heard my roommate moaning my name in the shower. FML
Today, I heard my mom moan in the other room. FML
False alarm
Today, I was masturbating on my inflatable air mattress that squeaks when you move. Suddenly, my mom burst into my room to ask if I was okay because she thought the squeaking was me crying. I ripped my hands from my pants and turned on my side; she walked over and grabbed my hands to console me. FML
Cranking
Today, I started to cry while masturbating. This isn't the first time that this has happened. FML
Today, I acted like I always do when I'm alone in my seemingly sound-proof apartment. I sang loudly, talked back to the TV, used my vibrator. Later, in the silence of the night, I heard my neighbor next door YAWNING. FML
Top comments
The_9th_Doctor 18
just wow. maybe take it down a notch
jessBeAqueen 13
soooo when you cry...does it sound like your masturbating ? would create awkward sympathy hugs
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Comments (80)
Rectov 10
Imagine the sex.