Today, I realized that the reason there is no toilet paper in the house is because both my parents are too stubborn to be the one who goes out to buy more. It's been five days. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my entire family of five is sharing one roll of toilet paper. My parents refuse to buy any, because my father can get it free from his work. He's forgotten to bring any home every day without fail for the past seven days. FML
Today, after a day, I finally noticed that the toilet paper I'd been using to wipe my butt is actually a roll of paper towel cut in half. My dad thinks that it's a waste of money to buy proper paper. Guess who had to unclog the toilet twice. FML
Today, my household ran out of toilet paper so we have to shower after every dump. My mom just confessed that she does in fact have money for shit tickets, but won't buy any because it's the only way she can get my brother to shower. FML
Today, I went into the bathroom and got angry upon finding that once again, no one had bothered to put on a new roll of toilet paper. And then I remembered that I live alone. FML
Today, as he was going out, I asked my father if he stop by the store and buy some tampons for me and toilet paper for the house, because we have been out for the last 5 days. He came home with a 30-pack of beer and cigarettes instead. I just started my time of the month and we have no more money. FML
Today, I ran out of toilet paper. I yelled from the bathroom for my parents to bring me some toilet paper. My dad slipped one tiny piece of toilet paper under the door and boomed, "THE FINAL TEST." FML
Today, the stall I was using didn't have any toilet paper in it. Being the immature idiot I am, I was too embarrassed to ask for someone to grab me some. So I waited 45 minutes for the bathroom to be empty and crept into the next stall, only to find it was also out of toilet paper. FML
Today, my dad hid the toilet paper and is charging me 50 cents a roll. FML
Today, in desperate need of a shit, I quickly ran into a shop to buy toilet paper. I rushed home and unleashed, only to realise I'd bought paper towels. Without options, I had to wipe my ass with them and consequently blocked the toilet. I found rolls of toilet paper while looking for the plunger. FML
Today, I was moving into my new apartment. I moved in a couple of bags and realized I really needed to poop. It’s been 10 minutes since I realized I hadn’t brought the toilet paper in yet. No one to bring me any. FML
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Top comments
duckie227 22
Buy a roll for yourself and keep it in your room
taytoc 10
Put laxatives in their drinks. It'll force them to buy toilet paper or else.
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Comments (185)
ultra_notorious 26
use your parents socks, then put it under their pillow.
Neongreenme 8
You can't go buy any?????
wastingtimeonFML 7
Haha, free-rider problem? Sorry, done too much economics revision lately.
joeymo304 9
Go out and get it yourself bum
TheDrifter 24
When I was a kid the nearest store was 45 km away. Thankfully we had these things called bicycles, slower than cars but effective. I wonder what ever happened to them.
mycatsaysmeow 7
In some countries, people just use their left hand. I suggest keeping your own stash of toilet paper.
perdix 31
Tell your parents that the one who thought pepper was heavier than salt loses and has to buy the toilet paper. Fair's fair.
twofirstnames 12
Use their clothes or anything else they may have to wipe your ass. Maybe they'll take the hint..
mikeymuskrat89 4
What's OP?
Pandacupcakelove 26
The OP is the person who wrote the FML.
Queen_Cosmos 7
It means Original Poster.
perdix 31
Obstreperous Pooper. The submitter of the story has taken a dump and is now loudly complaining about the lack of toilet paper, hence the title. YWIA
SqueakyChipmunk 22
THE STAND OFF BEGINS.