Today, I realized that the fish-shaped birth mark on the back of my leg, that I have had all my life, is not really shaped like a fish as I had originally thought. It looks just like a penis. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I realized the birthmark I have on my chest isn't a birthmark at all; it's a third nipple. FML
Today, my friends learned that if you play "connect the dots" with the pimples on my back the resulting picture is a large penis. FML
Today, I got out of the shower and noticed a tiny leaf on my penis. With legs. Squirming. I have a new nickname. FML
Today, I noticed I have to lift up my fat to see my penis. FML
Today, I got my first tattoo. It's a large broadsword which runs the length of my spine. I went home to show it off, only to learn that the hilt on my neck looks just like a penis when the rest of it is covered with my shirt. FML
Today, I found a bug under my foreskin. FML
Today, I was doodling randomly during a meeting at work, and I noticed my drawing was beginning to look a bit like a penis. A coworker was eyeing it so I tried to make it something else by adding... oh good, now it's a penis and balls. FML
Today, I realized that in French, my name means "penis." This wouldn't be so bad if my dad wasn't fluent in French. FML
Today, I panicked when I saw a spider on my shoulder from the corner of my eye. It was a birthmark. The same one that has been there for the last 23 years. FML
Today, I woke up to large spot of blood in my underwear. This wouldn't be too big a deal if I didn't have a penis. FML
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Top comments
ThatLooksSticky 16
What kind of fish is that? A blow fish?
tencentsakiss 19
Are you male or female? I feel like that influences how f-ed your life is considerably.
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Comments (82)
doglover100 29
I wish I had a birth mark.
xylanthrax 18
Cover it up with a tattoo. of a penis
Szaszaspasz 26
Maybe go to a tattoo parlour and get something you really like tattooed over it.
JustShootMeFML 32
I've heard an old wives tale that your birthmark is in the shape of what killed you in a previous life. ?
JustShootMeFML 32
I tried to use an emoji not realizing it wouldn't work. I was trying to put a winking face there. ;)
MrsHumanFrog 19
Tattoo