Today, I realized that the fish-shaped birth mark on the back of my leg, that I have had all my life, is not really shaped like a fish as I had originally thought. It looks just like a penis. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I realized the birthmark I have on my chest isn't a birthmark at all; it's a third nipple. FML
Today, my friends learned that if you play "connect the dots" with the pimples on my back the resulting picture is a large penis. FML
Today, I got out of the shower and noticed a tiny leaf on my penis. With legs. Squirming. I have a new nickname. FML
Today, I noticed I have to lift up my fat to see my penis. FML
Today, I got my first tattoo. It's a large broadsword which runs the length of my spine. I went home to show it off, only to learn that the hilt on my neck looks just like a penis when the rest of it is covered with my shirt. FML
Today, I found a bug under my foreskin. FML
Today, I was doodling randomly during a meeting at work, and I noticed my drawing was beginning to look a bit like a penis. A coworker was eyeing it so I tried to make it something else by adding... oh good, now it's a penis and balls. FML
Today, I realized that in French, my name means "penis." This wouldn't be so bad if my dad wasn't fluent in French. FML
Today, I panicked when I saw a spider on my shoulder from the corner of my eye. It was a birthmark. The same one that has been there for the last 23 years. FML
Today, I woke up to large spot of blood in my underwear. This wouldn't be too big a deal if I didn't have a penis. FML
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Top comments
ThatLooksSticky 16
What kind of fish is that? A blow fish?
tencentsakiss 19
Are you male or female? I feel like that influences how f-ed your life is considerably.
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Comments (82)
kiwi00 0
Just be glad it's not on your face.
sourgirl101 29
I know a guy that asked if I wanted to see his "Big black ****, that hung way below his knees"? Turned out, it was a tattoo of a rooster on a noose tattooed on the back on his leg. Perhaps you can use that as a similar pick up line?
Trollz4daLULZ 2
Just amputate your leg, and the humiliation will end.
bob007_fml 0
lol
TheShay 0
sallen0046 4
A penis, from no angle, looks like a fish. You shouldn't have needed to "realize" anything. The fact that fish are not penis shaped is not a revelation, it's common sense.
RedPillSucks 33
OP might have been told this by parents/adults who were trying to misdirect. Especially if OPs female. she: Daddy, look at this mark I've got on my leg. What is it? he: *Oh my God!* Oh, that's nothing, honey. It's just a pretty little fish. Yeah, that's it. A fish. she: Weeeee. I've got a fishy on my legs. he-to wife: How much do you think it will cost to cover that with a skin graft?
Ninjafriends 1
I think it's more about how her uncle Chester would take her on weekend "fishing" trips.
Agrajagged 3
Rorschach mark!
ugliness 6
Atleast your birthmark resembles something, mine are just ovals
Ninjafriends 1
I think you mean testicles. Yay, aren't you happy now?
PurplePeeps 0
I don't know about you, Shay, but I don't twist my dick when jack it. Preferences I guess.