Intimacy: Today, I realized how out of shape I am, when I couldn't finish...

By RyanM - 13/02/2011 09:01 - Canada

Today, I realized how out of shape I am, when I couldn't finish masturbating because I ran out of breath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 983

You deserved it 64 692

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Same thing different taste

Keep fit!

By anonymous - 13/04/2020 02:00

Today, my girlfriend and I were on the phone. She heard I was out of breath and asked me, "Are you okay?" I didn't have the heart to tell her that she'd caught me masturbating, and I'm so out of shape it sounded like I'd ran a marathon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 362

You deserved it 1 643

By Jack Shart Jr. - 08/07/2015 15:16 - United States

Today, I'm so out of shape that I got winded from getting out of bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 055

You deserved it 18 029

Out of shape

By Anonymous - 28/06/2022 02:00

Today, I’m now so unfit, I had to stop halfway through sex with my wife to catch my breath, and in the end we just gave up, as clearly neither of us was having an orgasm today. I don’t get it, I weigh exactly 11 stone and exercise regularly, but I have no stamina and shit lungs. I hate myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 232

You deserved it 335

Fresh and not Fit

By Anonymous - 14/06/2011 01:08 - United States

Today, I ran out of breath while mowing the lawn. I was on a riding lawn mower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 815

You deserved it 54 625

Take it easy

By Endrit Begolli - 27/06/2023 00:02 - Albania

Today, I went to the gym for the first time in months. I was so out of shape that I couldn't even finish my warm-up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 597

You deserved it 210

Wanking to death

By Anonymous - 30/11/2013 00:17 - United States - Alpharetta

Today, I was rubbing one out in the shower. I guess I got a little too excited, because as I came close to climaxing, I had a serious asthma attack and had to wheeze for help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 736

You deserved it 12 416

Health is overrated

By Anonymous - 16/03/2022 12:00

Today, trying to get into shape because I run out of breath after walking more than 30 minutes, I started to hit the gym. Too bad my legs didn’t want to cooperate and decided that it would cause limping-worthy pain for every step I took on the treadmill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 772

You deserved it 182

By Anonymous - 29/10/2009 04:07 - United States

Today, I went running for the first time in a few months. I had what I thought was an asthma attack. When I got home, I realized that it was not asthma, but instead I have gained so much weight that my running bra restricted my breathing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 626

You deserved it 31 322

Getting on

By Anonymous - 01/05/2021 23:00

Today, I realized that I’m old, and that it’s been too long since I had sex or even masturbated. How did I notice? Because I tried to, and I found out I couldn’t comfortably spread my legs that far anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 057

You deserved it 283

By Out of Shape - 16/08/2011 22:09 - Egypt

Today, I decided to start exercising. I almost passed out five minutes into the warm up, and couldn't even stand in the shower afterwards. I'm only 21. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 924

You deserved it 35 567

DJR_fml 2

Sunday 13 February 2011 16:22

did you know 5 out of 5 guys. **********.. :O

Raddaya 3

Sunday 13 February 2011 16:26

Sir, this is the funniest FML I have ever seen. Thank you for making my day. As a reward, I bless you that you will succesfully **********.

Comments

ryno2004 1

Sunday 13 February 2011 17:13

wow... just... wow...

jbtheone_fml 5

Sunday 13 February 2011 17:16

haha, ummm "Loser" brought to a new definition.

XxPurplePandaxX 0

Sunday 13 February 2011 17:19

lazy person. GO TO THE GYM!

Trupe 3

Sunday 13 February 2011 17:25

haha this reminds me of those old exercise infomercials. "stroke it, stroke it, stroke it, feel the burn"

newjerseyguy 0

Sunday 13 February 2011 17:25

well if your running out of breath while jerking off then your never gonna be able to please a woman.

MLuckyCapoeirist 6

Sunday 13 February 2011 17:56

He will date a girl that runs out of breath while screaming :D

newjerseyguy 0

Sunday 13 February 2011 22:55

#69 if he runs out of breath while jerking off what makes you think he has anywhere near enough stamina to bring a woman to ******? lol

sourgirl101 28

Sunday 13 February 2011 17:33

Blue balls!!!

Zmeilerr 22

Sunday 13 February 2011 17:39

Blue waffle!

Zmeilerr 22

Sunday 13 February 2011 17:39

Blue waffle!

sourgirl101 28

Sunday 13 February 2011 17:49

Shame on you, Z! Putting that nasty thought in my head!

6sick6 4

Sunday 13 February 2011 18:45

Blue waffle and fried rice!

krystal2424 0

Sunday 13 February 2011 17:33

imagin actully having sex. you'd probably kill over.

Cass3m0 0

Monday 14 February 2011 2:11

Kill or keel?

SpankyMcThrust 6

Sunday 13 February 2011 17:35

Chubby chaser? I think so...

fuckanshit 0

Sunday 13 February 2011 17:38

y would u post tht

meowmeowwkitty 0

Monday 14 February 2011 4:51

IT'S CALLED FML for a reason you idiot.

stevenmx86 7

Sunday 13 February 2011 17:43

That's disgusting

Keywords

Gamers Annoying Video games Birthday Money Cute Kids Weird Awkward Love Health Abuse Relatable Social Media Scams Education Parents School Anger issues Teenagers Family Relationship advice Capitalism Miscellaneous Public freakouts Grieving Mental health Music Geek Poopoo peepee

The Top

Today, after finally moving into a better neighborhood, my family and I were greeted by the elderly couple who live window to window to us. How? By hearing them have sex loudly and then praying for forgiveness even louder. Welcome to the neighborhood! FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 018

You deserved it 3 408

Today, I found out that if you put tea bags into a cup of hot water, the tea bags will melt. The result: You get to drink and chew tea leaves at the same time, with little bits of actual tea to help make them go down. 0/10, do not recommend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 97

You deserved it 421

The Top

Today, my piano teacher complimented my song, calling it great. I was proud and thanked him, then realized he was being sarcastic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 704

You deserved it 4 911

Today, I found out my extremely anti-war relatives hate me because they think I served in the Army, after hearing I was "a vet". I'm a veterinarian. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 538

You deserved it 3 098

Today, it’s my birthday. I woke up with a raging hangover and my house being completely trashed from the party I didn’t really want, and can barely even remember, since I got so drunk from the nerves of having to host it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 347

You deserved it 964

Today, I went to the restaurant I recently got a job at, to take the introductory three hour training course. Afterwards, I was told I wasn't hired after all. Why? The girl I was replacing suddenly decided she didn't want to move away and quit after all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 081

You deserved it 1 741

Today, I saw Les Misérables. I was singing along to one of the songs when the guy next to me dumped his soda over my head and told me to shut up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 413

You deserved it 100 834

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years dumped me for a chick I shared a hospital room with for 2 months. I introduced them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 738

You deserved it 3 760