Miscellaneous: Today, I realised I like Britney Spears. FML - FML

By embaressed - 27/01/2009 17:33 - Canada

Today, I realised I like Britney Spears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 236

You deserved it 33 978

But there's panic on the streets of Carlisle

Where were you?

Noise annoys

By darkman28 - 07/04/2009 05:21 - United States

Today, I was looking at the page of a girl I've had this big crush on for a long time. After getting a date with her and taking her horse back riding and having a picture taken of the two of us I find that she paint shopped me out of the picture before posting it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 394

You deserved it 4 532

Bad, bad, bad

By Anonymous - 01/03/2014 10:30 - United States - Saint Joseph

Spicy

Today, I had sex with a guy I've liked for years. There was just one problem: it was so terrible I said, "I think I might be straight" about five minutes in just so it would stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 317

You deserved it 15 615

By assoutofuandme - 14/02/2013 07:39 - United States - San Francisco

Today, while riding the train home, I noticed a man who kept looking at me. Annoyed, I told him to be less obvious and to stop staring. He promptly responded, "Bitch, I'm gay, and even I can tell no one would want to look at you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 080

You deserved it 59 259

By mia - 29/12/2016 22:35 - United States - Wakefield

Today, I told my mom that I think I'm lactose intolerant, and that I should go to the doctor to get checked out. She said that I was probably just gassy, and then ordered us a pizza for dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 497

You deserved it 903

By rhcpgurl - 23/07/2015 15:07 - United States - San Jose

Today, after 2 months of searching, I finally found a good, stable job. How does the universe reward me upon waking up on my very first day? With a burning yeast infection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 763

You deserved it 2 648

By MyLyfeSux - 25/09/2009 22:09 - United States

Today, I went to the restroom at school and when I finished my business, I noticed there was no toilet paper. I then began to wait hoping that a janitor would come by with extra toilet paper. It wasn't until an hour later that I then realized there was 4 extra rolls hidden behind the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 902

You deserved it 53 843

By ohshootgirl - 04/10/2010 02:06 - United States

Today, I was coming out of my work and a group of guys yelled, "Oh shoot girl!" and I blew them a kiss jokingly, then as I walked down the street, cars were honking at me, guys whistling. When I got home I noticed the foot long rip down my pencil skirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 966

You deserved it 28 044

By ThePopeMan - 17/03/2009 17:42 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when she started moaning and breathing heavily. I thought she was getting hot and was about to cum. Unfortunetly, she soon said, "I'm bored, let's play a board game." She was sighing, not moaning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 993

You deserved it 23 013

By Anonymous - 17/12/2012 00:58 - United States

Today, I saw my crush at the grocery store. He saw me and started walking towards me. I got so excited that I farted when he came near. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 313

You deserved it 10 212

By Anonymous - 22/08/2009 19:39 - Canada

Today, I found out that the crumbs on the couch that look like the oreos you just ate, can actually turn out to be very crunchy, and have legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 989

You deserved it 46 066

By Anonymous - 12/08/2012 09:23 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I was watching a movie alone with my girlfriend. She shifted positions as I put my arm around her, and ended up kneeing me in the crotch and shouldering me in the throat simultaneously. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 090

You deserved it 2 347

By HelloItsMee123 - 24/12/2016 05:59 - United Kingdom

Today, I had routine surgery and should have been discharged on the same day. Now due to an avoidable mistake the surgeon made I'll be staying in hospital over Christmas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 305

You deserved it 419

By mrosewrosem - 24/10/2018 15:30

Today, I had a lovely gluten-free pizza out at a local restaurant. After I'd finished, they informed me it wasn't in fact gluten-free. I am Celiac and this means I will be ill for the next six weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 643

You deserved it 321

By FootFlakes - 09/04/2013 17:58 - United States - Boston

Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend once again that the dry skin she picks off her feet belong in the trash, not on our coffee table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 921

You deserved it 4 423

By zaktor - 08/04/2018 15:00

Today, at my fundraising job, I got my biggest donation ever: $500. I accidentally added a zero and charged the donor $5000. What I got: an angry phone call and a lecture from my boss. What I didn't get: a donation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 196

You deserved it 3 541

Winds of change

By sting - 03/06/2017 04:00

Today, I stepped on a glue trap for scorpions. Bare foot. There was a scorpion already caught on it. It wasn't dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 998

You deserved it 706

By kevdev - 09/09/2010 19:58 - United States

Today, I received an email from an ex who I haven't heard from in two years. Excited that it might be her asking if we could meet up, I opened it. It was a virus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 701

You deserved it 9 319

By ItWasOurAnniversary - 28/09/2016 12:08 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend and I wanted to kayak. On the way, I told him I had to go back to our hotel because I needed the bathroom and didn't want a public one to smell. Once back in the elevator at the hotel, it got stuck. For an hour. I pooped myself and had to wait 40 minutes after that for help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 333

You deserved it 2 452

Reverse psychology

By Marie - 11/06/2020 17:12

Today, while trying to get my picky daughter to eat her dinner, I pretended to take some of her food and give it to her brother, thinking that would get her to eat it. Instead, she thanked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 031

You deserved it 725

By Anonymous - 31/10/2012 14:37 - United States

Today, I went to a big family dinner. I didn't realize I hadn't been invited until we were about to sit down to eat. There were 12 chairs, 12 plates, 12 forks, and 12 glasses. I was the 13th person to arrive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 742

You deserved it 2 656

By ninalian - 22/05/2011 06:30 - United States

Today, I was talking to this boy I really like and we were laughing together, until I got this disgusting putrid smell. I started to say how awful the smell was and he stopped laughing to take a sniff too. As soon as he closed his mouth the smell was gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 097

You deserved it 4 493

By jb100 - 24/07/2015 20:08 - United States - Perryville

Today, as I was working at a bakery, a woman stormed in, cut in front of the line, and began yelling at me. She claimed I didn't give her a sandwich earlier and demanded a refund. She got the refund out of my paycheck, and as she was leaving she muttered, "Ha, works every time." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 106

You deserved it 2 181

Our house, is a very very very fine house

By Anonymous - 24/03/2021 17:00

Today, my housemate, who never cleans, cooked tacos, then left her dishes for the rest of the evening. When shown a bowl of murky water in the sink, she denied it was hers, prompting my vegetarian housemate to clean it. Putting her hand in the bowl, she found a lump of raw taco meat. Yum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 860

You deserved it 110

By Anonymous - 14/07/2018 20:30

Today, I was watching my 2-year-old sister in the bathtub. As she was splashing, she stopped, and pointed at the "owie" on my head. I told her it was okay, and that it was just a pimple. She said, "Wow, you have a lot of pimples!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 099

You deserved it 347

Caught

By luckoftheirish - 18/07/2021 11:01

Spicy

Today, I found out that masturbating on an airplane isn't frowned upon like they say in the movie 'The Hangover'. It's actually illegal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 206

You deserved it 2 555

Not into it

By wtf Homer? - 21/04/2021 00:30

Spicy

Today, my husband’s been dropping hints he wants to open our marriage. When I got home, a couple of his coworkers dropped by "for drinks". They tried to initiate group sex and figured I just needed to be talked into it. I was so mad, I couldn’t throw everyone out fast enough, including him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 551

You deserved it 126

By Just Lonely - 04/09/2016 05:04 - United States - La Place

Today, after not hanging out with anyone the whole year, a guy finally asked me to go the movies with him. When I asked what time, he said, "Never mind, I found another girl." FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 513

You deserved it 964

By Notthekeytosuccess - 12/04/2017 00:00

Today, I broke my key unlocking my dorm room. When I pushed the door open in frustration, the door opened with no problem. Turns out it was unlocked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 544

You deserved it 1 674

By xobeachbabi428ox - 18/07/2009 22:32 - United States

Today, I used a public bathroom. I hung my purse up on the hook on the door. Two minutes later, a hand reaches over the door and steals my purse. I got robbed while taking a crap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 125

You deserved it 7 961

By why the fuck would you do that - 25/02/2013 02:57 - United States - Phoenix

Today, my son broke his hand when he and his best friend had the genius idea of punching each other in the fists as hard as they could. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 472

You deserved it 3 773

By noooooo - 21/02/2016 16:03 - United States - Bainbridge

Today, I'm locked in a bedroom with two dogs to keep them from barking at the guy fixing our water heater. One of them is stress-farting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 929

You deserved it 2 194

Red flag

By LeftAndAbandoned - 11/08/2021 16:01

Today, my fiancé called off our wedding, all because I wouldn’t tell him how much my life insurance is worth. Apparently, “Lovers don’t keep secrets from one another” and, “If you’re hiding that God knows what else you could be hiding.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 856

You deserved it 333

By worst day of my life - 06/07/2019 20:04

Today, my friends kidnapped me as a surprise birthday prank, and threw me into my own car's trunk. As they drove the car to PF Chang's, I'm freaking out, blindfolded and hogtied. My car was low on gas, and they ran out on the highway. They left me in the car on I-275 for 9 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 739

You deserved it 181

By anonymas - 29/01/2010 15:29 - Norway

Today, I found out my dad bought an iPhone. I've spent the better part of the last six months teaching him how to check his email and online newspapers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 543

You deserved it 3 615

By ilovecharliesheen - 17/03/2015 07:14 - United States - Phoenix

Today, I accidentally ate a cat treat instead of a cinnamon glazed pecan. I thought it must have been burnt by the way it tasted, so ate a few more before I figured out my mistake and spat them out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 579

You deserved it 14 211

Grateful

By Anonymous - 18/12/2020 01:08 - United States - Cleveland

Today, my mom made me shovel our long driveway, as it had just snowed a couple of inches. It took me two and half hours to finish. She came out and said, "Wow, is this really the best you can do?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 876

You deserved it 141

By damn-it - 22/02/2009 06:41 - Australia

Today, my Grandma was showing me an ancient family letter. It was apparently written by someone historically famous. She was going on about how important it was, in such good condition too, worth a lot. I dropped my glass of juice. It spilt all over it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 900

You deserved it 48 107

By MgmEboy - 19/09/2009 21:36 - Canada

Today, I saw a YouTube video of a guy scratching a knife and a screwdriver on his iPod, and at the end he showed how there were no scratches and the screen was still clean. I took my iPod touch and did the same with a knife. It didn't work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 294

You deserved it 268 505

By goodlkjh - 24/04/2019 14:00 - South Africa

Today, my mom decided it was a good idea to put a camera in my room so I could be watched at all times, to make sure I'm behaving. I'm 14. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 726

You deserved it 271

By TakenAdvantageOf - 15/09/2017 04:30

Today, my husband asked to borrow money. He couldn't pay his half of the rent or utilities this month, but he did manage to buy a $1,700 radio. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 368

You deserved it 574

Add a comment - Reply to : #

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

tweedledee_fml 0

Send a private message

Friday 6 March 2009 2:59

today i realized half of you can't spell for shit

adamo_erebus 26

Send a private message

Saturday 11 September 2010 8:07

You can't misspell a name.

Comments

Send a private message

Tuesday 17 February 2009 6:44

HEY she WAS hot maybe not so much any more but she was at one point.

rikhi_chauhdry 1

Send a private message

Monday 23 February 2009 3:20

i hate u

Send a private message

Sunday 1 March 2009 2:20

i love brittany, how is this bad?

pandalovesreggae 0

Send a private message

Thursday 7 October 2010 16:39

All hail the queen. i love her<3

Send a private message

Sunday 1 March 2009 2:59

You shouldn't be ashamed to admit your liking for her, unless it's for her brains. Haha. She can't be too smart if her parents were stupid enough to misspell her name "Britney" instead of "Brittany". Lol.

Send a private message

Monday 17 May 2010 5:13

I agree with 6. I must admit that when "3" came out, I was shocked to learn she could count that high.

adamo_erebus 26

Send a private message

Saturday 11 September 2010 8:07

You can't misspell a name.

thecrazyhotchick 0

Send a private message

Saturday 24 December 2011 8:12

There is more than one way to spell Brittany/Britney

Send a private message

Thursday 12 March 2015 0:31

Yes thank you #73! My friends name is spelled Brittney there is no right way to spell it

Laid2Rest6661 0

Send a private message

Tuesday 3 March 2009 8:22

Loser

Send a private message

Thursday 5 March 2009 7:39

today i realised ur retarded cuz u think its bad to like britney spears....

Send a private message

Thursday 19 May 2011 5:07

Today, I realized that alot of people can't use proper grammar.

tweedledee_fml 0

Send a private message

Friday 6 March 2009 2:59

today i realized half of you can't spell for shit

Send a private message

Sunday 22 April 2012 7:18

Round of applause for this guy xD

Fnukk 0

Send a private message

Tuesday 10 March 2009 15:16

#10, It took you that long? Seriously? Oh, and do remember capital letters at the beginning of sentences and a period at the end. To the actual FML, I think it's cool that you can admit such things.

Send a private message

Thursday 12 March 2009 20:58

I had a moment recently where I realised the same thing...except I also love NSYNC and Backstreet Boys...

RPGod 0

Send a private message

Wednesday 18 March 2009 18:25

your life is fucked. I think you should get an exorcism

Nearly

Today, it has been 7 years of me submitting FML’s. I don’t know what worse, that I’ve submitted so many of that none have never been featured. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5

You deserved it 2

Today, I spent my 25th birthday crying alone in my room with my baby, because no else seemed to care it was my birthday. My partner and I had a fight the night before and we haven’t spoken or seen each other since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46

You deserved it 12

Spicy

Spicy

Today, I found out I’m going to be a father, twice over, with two different women. Sisters, in fact. Only one of those sisters is my wife. Should I flee abroad, or walk calmly towards the firing squad straight away? FML

I agree, your life sucks 48

You deserved it 1 085

Today, my boyfriend finally told me after over two years together that the reason we only have sex once a month is because my stomach is, “off-putting”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 800

You deserved it 177