Health: Today, I reached in between the couch cushions to see if my iPod...

By n0taplumber - 16/11/2010 03:25 - United States

Today, I reached in between the couch cushions to see if my iPod had slipped in there. I didn't find my iPod, but I did find an old utility knife blade. With my fingers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 809

You deserved it 4 819

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Same thing different taste

By Adam - 18/11/2009 21:57 - United States

Today, my iPod dropped out of my pocket while I was walking. Trying to be cool, I attempted to kick it back into the air to catch it before it hit the ground. Upon making contact with my foot, It ended up detaching from my headphones and flying 10 feet. Right into a sewer grate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 368

You deserved it 70 232

Hangry DVD

By Krazydude1000 - 03/01/2020 14:00

Today, I found out that my old DVD player had stopped reading my DVDs. I had the dumb idea to stick my finger in there to see what the problem was. I found the problem, which was that my fingernail wasn't on my finger after doing that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 667

You deserved it 2 144

By yay! - 08/11/2010 06:07 - United States

Today, I found my son's iPod touch and was looking at a light-saber app. He walked into the living room to see me fighting the cat and making sound effects to myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 781

You deserved it 32 270

By momac86 - 19/01/2015 06:34 - United States

Today, I lost a sewing needle in the carpet. No worries, my big toe found it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 172

You deserved it 4 215

Let it bleed

By breza - 01/07/2022 14:00 - Slovenia

Today, while trying to put something into the almost full waste bin, I cut myself with a razor blade that my son had thrown in there. It was surprisingly sharp, and my finger started pissing blood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 778

You deserved it 159

Locked and loaded

By Anonymous - 30/12/2011 03:07 - China

Today, I left work early, and discovered I was locked out of my house. I subsequently had to use a spoon I found on the ground to smash the bathroom window. I cut my leg on the glass when I climbed through. While inspecting the wound, I felt a lump in my pocket. It was my house key. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 193

You deserved it 43 434

By Anonymous - 16/10/2010 09:57 - United States

Today, I started some laundry late at night. Once my clothes were in the washer for about a half hour, I got bored and I decided I would listen to my iPod. After looking for it for another 15 minutes, I remembered where I'd left it; in my jacket... which is now nice and clean. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 577

You deserved it 27 347

By payne - 04/01/2010 21:07 - United States

Today, I found my daughter's brand new ipod touch. At the bottom of the washing machine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 714

You deserved it 6 218

By flipflap - 14/06/2015 06:35

Today, I tried to get a piece of glass out of my big toe. After an hour of poking and prodding, I finally got it out only for it to fall on the floor where I couldn't find it. Not five minutes later, I stepped on it again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 316

You deserved it 7 117

By Grrr - 20/07/2012 07:58 - United States - Salem

Today, I was walking in my apartment when I felt something stab my foot. Thinking it was a piece of glass, I looked down. It was one of my roommate's toenail clippings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 374

You deserved it 2 077

Porschephile 0

Tuesday 16 November 2010 9:08

What else would you use to find things between couch cushions? Toes?

DefineAlrep 9

Tuesday 16 November 2010 9:06

so did you ever find your iPod?

Comments

buddha313 0

Tuesday 16 November 2010 12:29

Well, unless you were furiously digging, it shouldn't have given you more than a pinch, and maybe a startle. I can hardly see you pulling your hand out dripping pints of blood.

iheartglasses 0

Tuesday 16 November 2010 12:57

I found a sliver of glass with my cuticle once. Talk about a lot of blood and a really sore finger for a few days!

sapphirestar 0

Tuesday 16 November 2010 13:19

Lucky it's not your butt who found it? Lol.

smallsmerry 0

Tuesday 16 November 2010 13:40

that was a close shave...

ieatdeadcats 0

Tuesday 16 November 2010 14:18

I cut my finger off once! worst pain I've ever felt! it was so dumb how it happened to!

QWERTYCommander 5

Tuesday 16 November 2010 16:13

But in your profile pic, you have all 5 fingers.

ieatdeadcats 0

Tuesday 16 November 2010 16:44

months of hand therapy and a hand surgeon. a lot of it grew back on its own as weird as that sounds.

1personinthiswor 0

Wednesday 17 November 2010 3:45

Unless you're related to a starfish, body parts don't just grow back. Hair, fingernails and toenails. That's it. Maybe you got stitches and it reattached over time, but it didn't just grow.