Work: Today, Club Penguin finally shut down. I then got a call from...

By Brett

Today, Club Penguin finally shut down. I then got a call from one of my employees, who said that he needed to take a day off from work to, "emotionally deal with the issue." FML

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Work

Dangling modifier

Instadrama

Invasion

By lamponau - France

Today, my 6-year-old son said to me, "You smell nice daddy." Surprised but flattered, I thanked him. He then added, "I like the smell of cheese!'" FML

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By littlepsychgirl - United States

Today, my parents asked me if I would dog-sit for them while they go to my ex's wedding. FML

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By mahlee - United States

Today, my college roomate and I received our first pieces of mail. We were very excited because our mailbox wasn't empty anymore. She got a package of home baked cookies in the mail from her family. I got a letter from a stranger in prison. FML

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By Fire0fisis - Hong Kong

Today, my boyfriend and I went out on his boat. We got in the water and started to have sex when a fishing boat came by and chummed. There's nothing more romantic than bloody fish guts. FML

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By explanations - United States - Des Plaines

Today, after dating for almost a year, I decided to introduce my parents to the man I was sure I'd fallen in love with. When dad saw him, his and my boyfriend's face completely dropped. I asked them what was wrong because I could feel the discomfort. Turns out, I'm dating my dad's drug dealer. FML

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By Tiffer27 - United States

Today, I went to a very important job interview. I was so nervous that I passed out right in front of the interviewer's desk. FML

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By Heretique - Norway

Today, we had to evaluate each other in class. Apparently I'm a quarrelsome, uncommitted, commanding bitch. FML

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By namenlos - Australia

Today, on Facebook, my sister posted a ton of photos of herself wearing a skimpy bikini, commenting that she looked hideous and fat. I can't stand attention-seeking fuckballs, so I called her on it. My mother then condemned me for "mocking" my sister, and grounded me for an entire month. FML

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By augh

Today, I finally worked up the courage to tell my mom that I'm gay. She sympathetically patted my back and told me I don't need to make up excuses for me being so unattractive to women. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Floral Park

Today, I found my brother sobbing uncontrollably. When I asked why, he told me Melanie was dead. Thinking he was talking about his girlfriend, I offered to take him to a grief counselor. It was there that he told us that Melanie is the name of his horse in Red Dead Redemption II. FML

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By helloitsbrian6969 - United States

Today, I went to the store to buy groceries. I didn't care how I looked, so I wore an old shirt that said, "Thousands of my potential children died on your daughter's face last night." I ran into my girlfriend's parents at the store. FML

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By ohhi_itsme123 - United States

Today, I worked for three hours writing very neat notes with one of those pens that erase. I felt very accomplished, so decided to share it on Facebook. I brought my computer over to my lap on top of my notes. Turns out heat from laptops smudges ink from eraseable pens. I can't read my notes. FML

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By ddll - Singapore

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. She responded by sitting on the floor, crying like a baby and screaming "WHY?" at strangers. FML

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By Trouble

Today, at work, I was informed that my manager told the owner, "Everything wrong with my department" is me. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, it was my first day at work as a cashier. I was so nervous that my whole body got numb and my eye sight completely blurred. I ran to the bathroom blind while bumping into everything in the store, making sure that everyone knew I had a problem. FML

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By Smittynumerouno - United States - Amarillo

Today, I had an old man yell in my face because the boxes in our store only had Spanish words on them. I spent 15 minutes apologizing and trying to explain that the English was on the back side. He stormed out before I could even show him. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Hood River

Today, one of my friends asked me to flirt with her boyfriend to see if he would flirt back. Knowing this was a trust test, I agreed. She got pissed at me when he flirted back and still isn't speaking to me. FML

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By LLP - 15/10/2020 17:01 - United States

Freudian slip

Today, I found out there's nothing like getting dumped and then receiving an inadvertent Snapchat sext from your ex-girlfriend that was intended for her new boyfriend, on what would have been your anniversary. FML

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By JR. - 8/8/2020 20:02

Leaking all over the place

Today, my nearly ex-husband called in a panic so I could come rescue the dogs because he'd called 911 due to a gas leak at the house. I came over, after which the fire department and gas company inspected, and they found the issue. The dog. The dog farted so bad it smelled like rotten eggs and was mistaken for a gas leak. FML

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By Shauna - United States - Jacksonville

Today, it was my birthday. I finally got the PS3 I've been asking for, for a long time. When I opened the box, I didn't find a PS3, but a bunch of clothes that my mom put in my brother's PS3 box. FML

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By NaurLalaith

Today, I bought an iPhone SE, so my mom decided to sell my old iPhone 5 on Craigslist. Since the 5 and SE look exactly the same, she ended up selling my SE instead of the 5 for $100. The buyer refuses to give it back. FML

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By dumb dumb dumb - 20/10/2020 11:04 - United States

Not a good look

Today, my daughter decided she wants to be a Pokémon for Halloween. To practice the look, she used fabric dye because she thought it would look cool on her skin. Only she decided to dress as Jynx and instead of looking cool, she looks like a racist idiot in blackface. She posted pics. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, our school started an anti-bullying policy, and we watched a video about bullying. After the video, I told a teacher about a bullying case going on that I know about. His response? "Tell someone who cares" as he walked away chuckling. FML

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By curtain buyer - United States - Albany

Today, I moved into my new apartment. As I sat in my living room watching Netflix, I found out that my window has an excellent view of my new neighbors, who just so happen to like to shag with the blinds open. I guess I'll be buying some curtains. FML

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By anonymous - United States

Today, while on a six hour flight, someone offered to pay me $20 to swap seats with them. It seemed like a great deal, so I immediately accepted and moved to my new seat. I didn't realize my new neighbor was an old man with a raging boner. FML

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By thissucks - United States

Today, it's my mom's birthday. I woke up at midnight to be the first to tell her happy birthday. When I awoke in the morning, I decided to bake her a cake. Little did I know my whole family was going out to lunch to celebrate. I wasn't invited. FML

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By Anonymous - Ireland

Today, I got hit in the mouth with a hockey stick and lost four teeth. Yesterday I got my braces of six years removed. FML

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By eyesightfail - United States

Today, I saw a squirrel beside a tree. Thinking it was cute, I stepped closer, picked up a pine cone and tried to lure it to come closer. After about two minutes of silently squatting on someone's lawn holding a pine cone, I realized the squirrel was dead. FML

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By moose - Germany - W?rzburg

Today, I bought myself a new perfume. Now, there's a sulky husband lying next to me in bed who can't get it up because I smell like his mum. FML

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12115

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I walked in on my parents discussing how to kill our cat, and how to make it look like an accident. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Princeton

Today, I left my house angrily after arguing over the Super Bowl. I guess karma gets nasty when you wish a member of the opposing team would break his back. I fell down the stairs. FML

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By stupid drunk bitch - United States - Cobleskill

Today, my roommate made out with this guy I kind of had a thing for. It wasn't a big deal to sober me, but drunk me wasn't having it. I drank half a bottle of vodka, punched a hole in a wall, and cried while laying on the floor. FML

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By xXWhiteSheepXx - United States - Omaha

Today, my cat likes to share my pillow at night. I guess she was extra comfortable last night, because she didn't bother getting off it to hack up a hairball. I woke up because I rolled my face onto it. FML

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By Oopsie - United States - Saint Albans

Today, a revolving door got the better of me. I made it into the crowded lobby, unlike my skirt. Bad day to wear a thong. FML

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By broomrape - United States

Today, I found out that the horrible stench haunting my apartment for the past week was the decomposing corpse of my freedom loving gerbil underneath the bed that I've been sleeping on. FML

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By presente13 - United States

Today, my family and friends decided to throw a surprise party for my 16th birthday. I was so surprised that the shortness of breath triggered a serious asthma attack. FML

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By racking-leaves - United States

Today, after spending 3 hours raking leaves, I went to the store to get some supplies. I came back to find my neighbor had decided to blow his leaves all over my yard. FML

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By Noname - United States

Today, my friends and I were drinking boba. On the side of the cup it said "Please drink carefully to avoid choking on the Boba". I started to laugh at the ridiculousness of the label, and choked on the boba in a coughing fit. FML

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By StillHurt - United States

Today, I started my job as a consultant at a shop that sells wedding dresses. My first client? The girl my ex-fiancé cheated on me with and left me for. FML

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By NoUsernamHere - United States

Today, I was working on a project in my schools library when a group of teenagers came in and began loudly talking and laughing. When I asked them to please quiet down, the librarian asked me to leave for being too loud. FML

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Top comments

By kristinjeaneen | 21

#7433507 - Monday 3 April 2017 22:19

It's a traumatic day for all of us.

By daengh | 15

#7433555 - Monday 3 April 2017 23:55

Let them "emotionally deal with" the issue of "I need a new job".

COMMENTS

By LudA9844 | 11

#7433499 - Monday 3 April 2017 22:10

What is club penguin

Steffi | 26

#7433514 - Monday 3 April 2017 22:30

You haven't lived!

saffy66 | 34

#7433526 - Monday 3 April 2017 23:00

Apparently I haven't either

Neevster | 18

#7433620 - Tuesday 4 April 2017 4:53

It's an MMO for kids

Cali | 54

#7433721 - Tuesday 4 April 2017 12:25

*was

By kristinjeaneen | 21

#7433507 - Monday 3 April 2017 22:19

It's a traumatic day for all of us.

By TheJokerDK | 7

#7433543 - Monday 3 April 2017 23:33

I'd fire him

By daengh | 15

#7433555 - Monday 3 April 2017 23:55

Let them "emotionally deal with" the issue of "I need a new job".

By Jacobus_G | 3

#7433585 - Tuesday 4 April 2017 1:26

the sequel to Club Penguin was already online before club penguin shut down
it had a lot of really devoted fans

By Jacobus_G | 3

#7433586 - Tuesday 4 April 2017 1:26

the sequel to Club Penguin was already online before club penguin shut down
it had a lot of really devoted fans

By Neevster | 18

#7433621 - Tuesday 4 April 2017 4:53

We haven't all recovered yet :'(

By Miss_080 | 21

#7433639 - Tuesday 4 April 2017 6:20

What's club penguin?

WolfyGrace | 24

#7433641 - Tuesday 4 April 2017 7:04

An MMO for kids where you played as a penguin.

By WolfyGrace | 24

#7433642 - Tuesday 4 April 2017 7:06

I wonder what his reaction was 4 years ago when Toontown shut down

By RockPrincess26 | 16

#7433687 - Tuesday 4 April 2017 10:39

Fucking millennials.

Cali | 54

#7433722 - Tuesday 4 April 2017 12:27

wow ok rood

RockPrincess26 | 16

#7433734 - Tuesday 4 April 2017 12:53

You need to learn how to spell. And it's the truth.

Mike3258 | 18

#7434385 - Wednesday 5 April 2017 20:51

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment