Animals: Today, I put out a fire. Sadly, it was on my doorstep because... - FML

By anonymous - 02/02/2010 17:32 - France

Today, I put out a fire. Sadly, it was on my doorstep because someone had lit a bag of dog poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 538

You deserved it 4 266

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 10/11/2011 17:07 - Ireland

Today, I stepped in a pile of dog shit. While trying to get it off by wiping my foot on the grass, I stepped in another pile. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 823

You deserved it 7 669

Spooked

By fucking mafia or what?? - 12/01/2013 22:02 - United States - Marysville

Today, I opened my front door to go out for groceries. Lying on my doorstep was a pile of poop. A piece of paper was taped to the ground beside it that read, "Do it again and you'll get more than dog shit." I don't have the slightest clue who I pissed off, or how. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 000

You deserved it 3 453

By sammyxoxo - 18/12/2011 08:32 - Canada

Today, I stepped into a pile of dog shit on my doorstep, along with a note saying, "Keep your dog out of my yard." I don't own a dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 771

You deserved it 2 771

Pick it up

By Cassie - 02/05/2011 00:21

Today, I took my dog for a walk. He started crapping on someone's lawn, then I noticed that the owner was outside and giving me a death stare. Not knowing what to do, I picked up the crap with my bare hands. The man started laughing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 388

You deserved it 50 965

It wasn't me, or him

By ev_lyn_aw - 17/05/2017 04:00

Today, today while walking my dog in a different part of town, a man ran screaming out of his house, and threw a plastic bag at me. It was dog poop. It was the first time I'd ever walked in front of his house with my dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 884

You deserved it 280

By Anonymous - 11/06/2019 06:00

Today, I was picking up after my dog with a poo baggie over my hand, like a mitten. Too bad the bottom ripped open and my bare hand poked through it just as I grabbed a big handful of steaming dog turd. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 840

You deserved it 299

By BaliTheDog - 24/03/2013 23:01 - France

Today, I was walking my dog when he stopped in the middle of the street and took a dump. I looked around furtively but saw nobody, so I just kept walking. I stepped in it on the way back home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 014

You deserved it 97 549

By Anonymous - 13/02/2011 08:36 - United States

Today, I confirmed that my neighbors burn their garbage in their backyard. How? My dog just threw up a nice smelly consistency of spaghetti, plastic and cigarette butts on my carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 823

You deserved it 3 815

My reward

By KittenShitz - 25/12/2019 14:00

Today, I felt accomplished after I cleaned the whole house alone, but then I stepped backwards to admire my work and stepped into a pile of dog poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 756

You deserved it 330

By Anonymous - 08/12/2011 04:27 - Canada

Today, my dog took a dump beside the air intake for our furnace. The house now smells like dog crap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 969

You deserved it 4 065

Next

Top comments

alexandraa_fml 0

Tuesday 2 February 2010 23:34

Did you know flaming bags of poop cause bacterial fungi infections causing hemmorages to the carrotid artery and lead to blue palpatations of the endocrine sweat glands when stepped on? Leading cause of death in the US. If only more people were aware of the danger.

pooter_stink 0

Tuesday 2 February 2010 23:26

Billy Madison anyone???

Comments

FernandoTorres_fml 0

Tuesday 2 February 2010 23:53

Appetising! (Oooh, you can reply to comments on your iPod touch now)

azreal_13 0

Tuesday 2 February 2010 23:55

gross

Pearljammer001 0

Tuesday 2 February 2010 23:57

@17 you can? how? plz tell!

I_am_stupid_also 6

Tuesday 2 February 2010 23:58

Archeologists recently discovered a wooden door from 6000 BC, believed to be the oldest door in the world. Next to it they also discovered remains of a burnt substance believed to be a combination of papyrus and dog poop.

FernandoTorres_fml 0

Wednesday 3 February 2010 0:09

Are you suggesting this OP is 6000 years old and situated in the ancient Egyptian civilisation? Smart.

arsenalfcboy 6

Wednesday 3 February 2010 0:34

I've said it before and I'll say it again; Liverpool are shit :)

chunky_baby 4

Wednesday 3 February 2010 6:53

great result against Man Ure the other day. your performance was like a pile of burning shit, and they put you out.

jessxoxo28 5

Wednesday 3 February 2010 0:09

ewww =S fyl

alexisthename 0

Wednesday 3 February 2010 0:24

I hope the poop wasn't actually a frog.

N8theGr800 0

Wednesday 3 February 2010 0:51

hahaha! XD

D3kl3 0

Wednesday 3 February 2010 20:50

rofl!! xD

Popo8 3

Wednesday 3 February 2010 0:39

Classic

Brave_Sir_Robin 4

Wednesday 3 February 2010 0:43

"He called the s**t poop! Hahahaha!"

xHaniffax 0

Wednesday 3 February 2010 0:46

I remember watching a scene like this in Disturbia...quite a common prank.....fyl

slyace 9

Wednesday 3 February 2010 0:50

hahahahaha classic XD

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The Top

Today, it's my birthday, and I had one to many and my best friend and my boyfriend had to take me home. We went back to my apartment and all squeezed together in my bed. During the night I got sick and spent the rest of the night on the bathroom floor. Later I found out that they'd fucked in my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 412

You deserved it 364

Today, a friend of mine got a bit drunk, but said she was fine and didn't feel drunk at all. I took her keys anyway and said she could sleep on my bed, while I slept on the floor next to the bed. I was rudely woken up in the middle of the night to her rolling over and vomiting on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 677

You deserved it 7 123

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 31 360

You deserved it 2 846

Today, I was swimming in the fast lane at the pool. A guy in blue trunks was swimming slowly and really getting on everyone's nerves. I took a break, and looking around I couldn't see him. I turned to the guy next to me and said, "Finally, Mr. Blue Trunks has f**ked off." It was Mr. Blue Trunks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 559

You deserved it 39 780

Today, was teacher appreciation day at my school. They played a slideshow of all the teachers. The students cheered wildly for every teacher. When my picture came up, nobody clapped. The whole room was quiet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 027

You deserved it 26 761

Today, my daughter sat me down for a long talk. It turns out that she thinks she is the Chosen One. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 105

You deserved it 3 647

You can do it!

I agree, your life sucks 284

You deserved it 78

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, because he thought he heard another guy in the room when he called me, and that I'm cheating on him. The guy he heard was a character from a cartoon my sister was watching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 305

You deserved it 3 525