Kids: Today, I presented my child with the classic "Who came first,...

Evolution mama 5 February 2014, 19:52 Reykjav, Iceland

Today, I presented my child with the classic "Who came first, the chicken or the egg?" conundrum. In return, I got a detailed lecture on how birds evolved from dinosaurs, how life was created in the sea and an explanation about evolution. I got schooled by a 9 year old. FML

64 comments

Collection

Thanksgiving

Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.

Same thing different taste

sydcaller618 This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff Richmond, United States

Let him have his innocence

Today, my six-year-old son told me how it was funny that there's "a food chicken and an animal chicken". That's going to be a fun one to explain to him. FML

59 comments

Ryan 28 August 2011, 20:10 United States

Today, after a long discussion, my dad still doesn't understand how evolution works, and thinks it's a myth that was debunked a long time ago. FML

71 comments

bleredoshia This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff New Zealand

Smart kid

Today, after church, my 5-year-old son asked me about God, so I answered his questions in full. We talked about God for over 2 hours. At the end of it all, he pondered for a moment, before saying to me, "That's the stupidest thing I ever heard. You're dumb." FML

65 comments

SFra 24 October 2012, 01:19 United States

Today, I went to the Natural History Museum with my boyfriend. While we were standing in front of real dinosaur bones, he told me he didn't believe in dinosaurs. FML

199 comments

proudparent 7 December 2009, 05:07 Canada

Today, my 5 year old son asked me to explain how he was born. After I told him I had a C-Section, he went to school and told everyone he was born at sea. I found out when the teacher called me. FML

116 comments

James 26 August 2011, 18:29 Canada

Today, I got into a heated argument with my mom, because apparently I'm an idiot for not sharing her belief that chickens are mammals. She has a university degree in this stuff. FML

196 comments

worldsmosthonestdad 12 May 2017, 14:00

Today, I got a call from my 8-year-old's 3rd grade teacher. Apparently a question went around class asking, "Why do you think you were put on this Earth?", and my son answered, "My dad says it's because I swam the fastest." FML

15 comments

Anonymous 4 December 2023, 08:00 United Kingdom

Truth bomb

Today, my 4 year-old daughter thought it was funny that the chicken on her plate and chickens on farms are called the same name. I had my mouth full so I couldn’t stop my rotten eldest son from saying, “That’s because chicken is dead chickens.” Cue her crying while my son cackled like a sociopath. FML

2 comments

homo fuckofftus 22 May 2015, 17:10 San Diego, United States

Indoctrination?

Today, we were discussing evolution at the super-religious school I'm forced to attend. I mentioned homo sapiens, and my teacher mockingly replied, "You actually believe in homo sapiens? Hahahah!" The whole class started laughing. No, not at the teacher; at me. FML

196 comments

Ken 10 May 2021, 20:01 Swindon, United Kingdom

The Talk

Today, I asked my 13-year-old son if he thought he was mature enough for a talk about "the birds and the bees." His response was, "They fly, so what? Why would I care?" FML

13 comments

Paradoxxxx 16

6 February 2014, 08:18

Hey, at least you raised a smart kid :)

ao9s7yashdun 7

6 February 2014, 08:19

I would be proud.

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Comments (64)

clevercake 21

6 February 2014, 08:25

at least he's not a creationist!

Crazc 15

6 February 2014, 12:36

what's wrong with creationists?

airhead2015 18

6 February 2014, 12:43

Anyways, what is wrong with creationists? Evolution is historical science, not observational science. There's no legitimate way to prove whether or not evolution is right or wrong.