Today, I pissed my younger brother off. Seemingly unrelated to this was the fact that I left my laptop on in my room along with MSN signed into my email adress. Now, all my contacts know that I apparently "just love the warm feeling of semen sliding down my throat". FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I told my brother to piss off. He decided to do exactly that, from the balcony onto my lap. FML
Today, I was on MSN with my friend and my 9 year old brother. My friend asked me for some advice about how to give a guy a good blowjob. I went into great detail, and then realised that I had typed it to the wrong window. I gave my little brother tips on how to perform fellatio. FML
Today, I realized that the "toothpaste" that I'm always cleaning out with my hands from the sink drain is actually my little brother's semen. FML
Today, my brother walked in on me jerking off. I managed to close the porn tab, at least, only to end up on my mom's Facebook profile. FML
Today, I fell asleep while using my laptop. The next thing I know, it's 8am and my dad is screaming at me for posting "u skank-ass cunt-face" on my mom's Facebook timeline. I never made that post, but he won't believe me. My asshole brother, meanwhile, can't stop smirking at me. FML
Today, I accidentally sent a nude to my 10-year-old brother. FML
Today, I entered the bathroom to discover that my brother had left semen and filthy water all over the floor and counter. I confronted him and demanded that he clean it up. My parents heard, sighed, and sent me back into the bathroom to clean it up myself. The towel was soaked too. FML
Today, whilst my parents and I were out, my older brother thought it would be funny to play porn on my computer. At full volume. With my window wide open. Now my next-door neighbors tell their kids I'm a spawn of Satan, and the weird guy from across the street winks at me. FML
Today, my 10 year old brother caught me masturbating and then said "Oh, so that's how you do it!". He then ran to his room and locked the door. I inadvertently taught my little brother how to masturbate. FML
Today, I logged on to MSN for the first time in a month. In under 10 minutes, I found out that my little sister had changed my screen name to Jake the Weiner, told my friend that he should "suck my d***" and sent an email to all my contacts declaring my love for my best friend. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
caled123 0
who cares? its not hard to say 'that was my brother' and noone will take it seriously...
FMY_FYL 0
Your secret's out.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (185)
Maxbigwood 0
Kick his ass
Verenek 0
hehemy bro is too stupid to think of that. FYL for having a smart + vengefull brother.
bigotcretin 0
YDI stupid bitch, just like my sister.
joemk2012 0
How the hell do you get sailors to go down your throat so smoothly?
SickSickSick7511 0
I threw up in my mouth after I read the last sentence.
fuzz97 23
omg u got pwned lolz
cutiehoney 0
lmao
Lady_Bow 4
I don't know if you're a guy or a girl, but either way that made me laugh really hard. That's gotta suck trying to explain that later...
pittmonster 0
how does your brother know what it's like?
skelator 3
First time I laughed today!