Transportation: Today, I picked up my driver's licence and my keys off the floor... - FML

By Anonymous - 30/01/2012 06:36 - Australia

Today, I picked up my driver's licence and my keys off the floor at the same time, using only my toes. This was the highlight of my day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 840

You deserved it 6 204

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

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Same thing different taste

Trust

By Anonymous - 29/08/2021 06:01

Today, my dad trusted me to go driving by myself in his car. I foolishly celebrated by doing a jump heel click, landed awkwardly, threw my hand out to stop myself falling, and scraped the whole bunch of keys down the driver's door. He trusted me for like 3 seconds and I blew it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 295

You deserved it 1 415

By chevygirl51 - 28/05/2014 21:12 - United States

Today, I took my driving test. It was all going well until out of habit from driving with my boyfriend, I reached over and held my instructor's hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 915

You deserved it 18 095

By catherineratley - 06/05/2012 04:09 - United States - Carmi

Today, I shut my finger in the car door. The door locked. Then I dropped the keys on the ground and couldn't reach them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 427

You deserved it 2 980

By supergirl7 - 27/07/2011 22:21 - United States

Today, I discovered I can properly operate the television remote with my feet. I then realized that it is pretty much my only talent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 404

You deserved it 8 667

The Brian Harvey

By Yougotmail - 17/07/2022 06:00

Today, I managed to run over my own foot with my own car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 444

You deserved it 619

By Anonymous - 23/08/2015 17:34

Today, I passed my driver's test. My instructor took the learner signs off his car and let me drive back to my place. I guess he didn't bet on me crashing the car just a few blocks from the test center. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 443

You deserved it 5 725

By gmian - 06/12/2015 05:06 - United States - Amherst

Today, at work, I used my foot to flush the toilet, lost my balance, and ended up catching myself with my foot in the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 379

You deserved it 11 002

Licence to drive

By Anonymous - 10/09/2009 06:19 - Australia

Today, after failing my learner's licence twice in the previous weeks, I finally passed. As I got home, I went for a drive with my dad. I smashed my mum's car into an old lady's fence and ended up in her backyard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 599

You deserved it 37 913

By sopissed - 13/06/2012 18:13 - United States - Laurel

Today, I went to take my driver's test, and I did almost everything perfectly. The last thing was to back into a driveway. As I went to put my hand on the passenger seat to look over my shoulder, I got so nervous that I hit my instructor in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 671

You deserved it 3 624

By nightput - 17/11/2008 06:02 - France

Today, I took my driving test. I spent 30 minutes with the handbrake on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 447

You deserved it 28 694

Next

Top comments

griffins33 4

Monday 30 January 2012 15:55

That would totally be the highlight of my day

Potterhead1 3

Monday 30 January 2012 15:56

Wingadrium Leviosa is much easier

Comments

chels2AM1R 9

Tuesday 31 January 2012 0:17

Not gonna lie; I find it quite impressive you picked up your license with your toes...

templhan 6

Tuesday 31 January 2012 0:59

You need an award because that's awesome!!

kansah 25

Tuesday 31 January 2012 1:01

****** Aussies

husky22 0

Tuesday 31 January 2012 1:11

so if this amazing event happened, y r u f-ing ur life? I'd be pretty dang happy if I'd done that!

mynameispickle 0

Tuesday 31 January 2012 1:19

That's a good highlight be proud!

l0v3p4in 7

Tuesday 31 January 2012 1:25

OP, you're such a kid. :P I just want to squeeze your cheeks and kiss your forehead. I miss the simplicity of mastering seemingly trifling tasks. Did you show your friends your awesome new trick?! ;)

my3rdgenipodtouc 0

Tuesday 31 January 2012 2:23

Pics...or it didn't happen.

EffemmellXD 0

Tuesday 31 January 2012 4:13

Pretty ninja if you ask me

tluscher 1

Tuesday 31 January 2012 4:48

i wish i could do this..

williamh327 5

Tuesday 31 January 2012 5:06

Dude dats awesome! I wish i cud do dat...

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The Top

Today, I found out the person that I’ve been casually seeing has decided he wants to live with me. I found this out when I asked him to go home after two weeks sleeping over, and he told me he'd already moved out of his mom’s. I sublet a single bedroom and have barely enough room for myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 486

You deserved it 147

Today, there's a stray black cat in my apartment complex. It had badly bitten me two months ago and I had to get several injections. Today the same cat barged into my flat when I opened the door to receive a delivery, and it attacked my cat. I barely managed to fight and push him out of my flat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 392

You deserved it 72

The Top

Today, my wife wanted to spice things up by making a sex tape. Not sure if it was excitement or just the pressure of being on camera, but the whole thing was less than 4 minutes, including foreplay and apologising, and due to bad camera placement most of the film was of my asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 442

You deserved it 169

Today, my roommate started packing up for when we move out in August. Thirty boxes later, I realized she's leaving me with only a dishtowel and a skillet while she traipses through Europe for the summer. She even packed the silverware. And the curtains. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 359

You deserved it 476

Today, I found out my roommate is literally crazy. I talked to his sister for an hour on the phone, she told me I should move out as soon as possible and to make sure I take everything I brought, because he's a thief and a liar. She was amazed I had stayed as long as I have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 422

You deserved it 737

Today, I was hitting on a girl who was getting ready to walk into the same class as me. We were waiting outside the room, so I told her that I'd heard the professor for the course was a total bitch. We walked into the room. I sat down at a desk. She stood behind the podium. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 915

You deserved it 38 822

Today, my dog brought me a a dead rabbit. It so happened to be the rabbit a group of neighborhood kids were looking for after they lost it yesterday. I just had to hide a body for my dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 056

You deserved it 2 494

Today, I was the designated driver for my friend's 21st birthday. On the way home from the bar, he threw up all the pasta and tequila he'd had onto the back seat of my car, and told me it was part of his whole party plan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 445

You deserved it 4 077