Today, I picked up my driver's licence and my keys off the floor at the same time, using only my toes. This was the highlight of my day. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dad trusted me to go driving by myself in his car. I foolishly celebrated by doing a jump heel click, landed awkwardly, threw my hand out to stop myself falling, and scraped the whole bunch of keys down the driver's door. He trusted me for like 3 seconds and I blew it. FML
Today, I took my driving test. It was all going well until out of habit from driving with my boyfriend, I reached over and held my instructor's hand. FML
Today, I shut my finger in the car door. The door locked. Then I dropped the keys on the ground and couldn't reach them. FML
Today, I discovered I can properly operate the television remote with my feet. I then realized that it is pretty much my only talent. FML
Today, I managed to run over my own foot with my own car. FML
Today, I passed my driver's test. My instructor took the learner signs off his car and let me drive back to my place. I guess he didn't bet on me crashing the car just a few blocks from the test center. FML
Today, at work, I used my foot to flush the toilet, lost my balance, and ended up catching myself with my foot in the toilet. FML
Today, after failing my learner's licence twice in the previous weeks, I finally passed. As I got home, I went for a drive with my dad. I smashed my mum's car into an old lady's fence and ended up in her backyard. FML
Today, I went to take my driver's test, and I did almost everything perfectly. The last thing was to back into a driveway. As I went to put my hand on the passenger seat to look over my shoulder, I got so nervous that I hit my instructor in the face. FML
Today, I took my driving test. I spent 30 minutes with the handbrake on. FML
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Top comments
griffins33 4
That would totally be the highlight of my day
Potterhead1 3
Wingadrium Leviosa is much easier
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Comments (126)
constipatedlady 0
Today, I read this FML and it bored me. FYL.
abundy 0
LOL; I do that alllllll the time :P
absolutegrrr 7
Yeah I wouldn't brag about that buddy.
knz9876 4
I do to!!!
lolmigosh 15
I think you've got talent..!
funkyshit 0
That is pretty ******* awesome, be proud of urself instead
anencephalic 14
Don't pout, you could become a superhero sidekick; Toe Boy.
soccerdude79 0
Wow your so talented, do u want a sticker or a stamp?
LaughinStock 16
I would like a cookie but that's Op's choice not mine :)
soccerdude79 0
No you can't have a cookie I said sticker or stamp.... Learn to read :)
RICHMOND920 3
got some monkey feet
eva_baby25 4
I love my monkey feet. Join the club(:
Clamcreepy 7
Yet I'm a proud member of the monkey feet club for 23 strong years and counting :)
eva_baby25 4
18 years and counting for me
K410 18
Haha talented toes ftw ;p
bn326160 13
That would be the highlight of every day!
pnutbudajelly 0
You spelled "license" wrong...
hjanelle14 2
way to be a goddamned know it all
DocBastard 40
Way to be a goddamned know-it-none, actually. "Licence" is the proper British English spelling. You're new here, so eventually you'll realise that not every commenter here is from the US, and that the entire English-speaking world outside the US spells things a little bit differently than you.
absolutegrrr 7
Please don't kill me, but I'm English and I spell the noun 'licence' but if I was using it as a verb, eg if I was 'licensing' something, then it would be with an 's'. *hides* Edit: after rereading the FML, I realise that it is being used as a noun, so I'll shut up now. Apologies.
fadingaway 17
I was waiting for this. Notice OP is from Australia, where, like many other countries, the correct spelling is "licence". In British English, the use of licence/license is the same as the use of advice/advise: Licence is the noun, e.g. driver's licence or a licence to kill. License is used as the adjective/adverb, e.g. He is not a licensed pharmacist. Get a clue.