Today, I picked up my 4-year-old daughter from day care. As we're driving home, a butterfly lands on the windshield. Just as my daughter comments on how pretty the butterfly is, I turned a corner and accidentally hit the windshield wipers and smeared the pretty butterfly across the windshield. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while driving with my three year-old, I was showing her the different kinds of birds. I pointed out a bright red cardinal perched in a row of hedges. She squealed as it took flight, so happy to see such a brightly colored birdie fly. Until it hit my windshield. FML
Today, I was driving my 7-year-old daughter to school, when out of nowhere a bird smashed into the windshield. Instead of screaming or being traumatized by the gore like me, my daughter started laughing, eventually calling the bird a "stupid bastard". FML
Today, I spent an hour and a half washing my car. As I was driving down the highway, a large bird flew over my car and accidentally dropped the dead animal he was about to have for dinner. It landed on my windshield. FML
Today, I purchased a new car. On the drive home, gusts of wind blew up debris and pebbles and caused little chips in the paint and small chips on the windshield. FML
Today, as I was driving, a bird swooped down, right in front of my car. I didn't have enough time to react, and so I had to listen to my wife cry the rest of the way home. She kept talking about how it bounced off the windshield and how it probably had a family. FML
Today, I was driving along when the car in front of me ran over an animal. I only realised this when a chunk of flesh and blood landed on my windscreen. I put my wipers on to get rid of it but instead it got stuck underneath the wipers and smeared all over the screen. FML
Today, while driving home, I looked in the rear-view mirror and saw that my three-year-old daughter had managed to get out of her seat and had crawled to the back window. I pulled over and strapped her in again. Five minutes later she was back at the window. FML
Today, I found a dead bird on my windshield. Thinking I was clever, I turned on my windshield wipers to get the bird off. Unfortunately, the dead bird fell through my open window and onto my lap. FML
Today, I picked up my daughter from daycare. As we were getting into the car, I strapped her into the car seat, but something felt off. I looked back and realized I had picked up the wrong kid. In my defense, she was wearing the same jacket as my daughter. FML
Today, I was really excited that I'd made it the two weeks I'd borrowed my mother-in-law's new car without putting a scratch on it. I got off work to discover a customer's child throwing rocks in the parking lot. They cracked the windshield. FML
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Top comments
anglcdvl89 0
I can just hear a little girl go "Look how pretty the butterfly i--WHATDIDYOUDOOOOO???" FbothyourL because now your daughter probably thinks your a monster.
xkonstantine125x 7
Lol...I'm still laughing..oh god this is great
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Comments (128)
Snackbars 0
Poor girl. D: And talk about awkward, for you. "Oh. Um. Hm... it's in a... better place... now?"
tkdgold03 5
win ^
darkraynos 0
I guess she learned an important life lesson pretty early - life is not fair.
Luky_fml 0
F that butterfly's Life
redbluegreen 41
I almost feel bad for laughing at this. #10 - Hahaha. Exactly.
TheLetterZero 7
Now this is gold.
Naheelawhatwhat 0
I just wanna know the little girls reaction throughout this traumatic experience.funniest FML I've read all week.
Funnybunny_fml 3
thats funny but i feel bad about laughing. "mommy look at pretty butterfly it's so pretty i want to see it forever and ever." then u kill it "well sweetie now you can" she'll remember that.
Pepperolls 0
Lol.
coffeennicotine 0
No, #5, I'm with you. This isn't an FML nor is it funny, in my opinion. I don't get why people think it's so funny.
Meow34 0
How can your 4 year old daughter see what is on the windshield unless she's sitting in the front, which is illegal for under age kids to be in the passenger seat. And, oh yes, FYL. It's SO over. Yah, right... This one sucks so bad.
Unlucky13Q 0
u can't be n the front seat if ur 12 and under. 13 and above is okay
emilysearcy 2
Well she could obviously be sitting in the middle of the backseats. Who said she had to be sitting in the front?