Today, I picked up my 4-year-old daughter from day care. As we're driving home, a butterfly lands on the windshield. Just as my daughter comments on how pretty the butterfly is, I turned a corner and accidentally hit the windshield wipers and smeared the pretty butterfly across the windshield. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while driving with my three year-old, I was showing her the different kinds of birds. I pointed out a bright red cardinal perched in a row of hedges. She squealed as it took flight, so happy to see such a brightly colored birdie fly. Until it hit my windshield. FML
Today, I was driving my 7-year-old daughter to school, when out of nowhere a bird smashed into the windshield. Instead of screaming or being traumatized by the gore like me, my daughter started laughing, eventually calling the bird a "stupid bastard". FML
Today, I spent an hour and a half washing my car. As I was driving down the highway, a large bird flew over my car and accidentally dropped the dead animal he was about to have for dinner. It landed on my windshield. FML
Today, I purchased a new car. On the drive home, gusts of wind blew up debris and pebbles and caused little chips in the paint and small chips on the windshield. FML
Today, as I was driving, a bird swooped down, right in front of my car. I didn't have enough time to react, and so I had to listen to my wife cry the rest of the way home. She kept talking about how it bounced off the windshield and how it probably had a family. FML
Today, I was driving along when the car in front of me ran over an animal. I only realised this when a chunk of flesh and blood landed on my windscreen. I put my wipers on to get rid of it but instead it got stuck underneath the wipers and smeared all over the screen. FML
Today, while driving home, I looked in the rear-view mirror and saw that my three-year-old daughter had managed to get out of her seat and had crawled to the back window. I pulled over and strapped her in again. Five minutes later she was back at the window. FML
Today, I found a dead bird on my windshield. Thinking I was clever, I turned on my windshield wipers to get the bird off. Unfortunately, the dead bird fell through my open window and onto my lap. FML
Today, I picked up my daughter from daycare. As we were getting into the car, I strapped her into the car seat, but something felt off. I looked back and realized I had picked up the wrong kid. In my defense, she was wearing the same jacket as my daughter. FML
Today, I was really excited that I'd made it the two weeks I'd borrowed my mother-in-law's new car without putting a scratch on it. I got off work to discover a customer's child throwing rocks in the parking lot. They cracked the windshield. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
anglcdvl89 0
I can just hear a little girl go "Look how pretty the butterfly i--WHATDIDYOUDOOOOO???" FbothyourL because now your daughter probably thinks your a monster.
xkonstantine125x 7
Lol...I'm still laughing..oh god this is great
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (128)
whobutme23 0
Blame it on the car, she's 4, she doesn't have to know you did it.
Spl4sh_fml 0
What did she do after that?
blackhak25 0
Oopsy!! She was probobly mad!
moonlit_manga 0
Hahahahahaha! Omg.... #5 jeanniner yes you are the only one who thinks it's stupid, you sour old hag. >:) --fox
lebatsirhc 0
): Poor girl.
Shyman4ever 0
Do you accodently hit the windshield wiper handle even when there isn't a butterfly??? It's weird that all FML's are a coincidence.
Adriennerox211 0
R.I.P butterfly :[ Imagine frum the butterfly: Today, I was flying around and came across a car with a little girl in the back. I decided to give her a little 'show' so I landed on the windshield. After hearing a comment from the child, I immediately get smashed and killed. I am now in butterfly heaven. FML :P
DynamicDave 11
How do you accidentally turn on the wipers when turning a corner?
Hockeylover87_71 0
hahahahaha lmao, poor kid, poor butterfly. but still, that is hilarious
ILoveMyLifeSoMuc 0
not an fml u retard