Today, I picked up my 4-year-old daughter from day care. As we're driving home, a butterfly lands on the windshield. Just as my daughter comments on how pretty the butterfly is, I turned a corner and accidentally hit the windshield wipers and smeared the pretty butterfly across the windshield. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, while driving with my three year-old, I was showing her the different kinds of birds. I pointed out a bright red cardinal perched in a row of hedges. She squealed as it took flight, so happy to see such a brightly colored birdie fly. Until it hit my windshield. FML
Today, I was driving my 7-year-old daughter to school, when out of nowhere a bird smashed into the windshield. Instead of screaming or being traumatized by the gore like me, my daughter started laughing, eventually calling the bird a "stupid bastard". FML
Today, I spent an hour and a half washing my car. As I was driving down the highway, a large bird flew over my car and accidentally dropped the dead animal he was about to have for dinner. It landed on my windshield. FML
Today, I purchased a new car. On the drive home, gusts of wind blew up debris and pebbles and caused little chips in the paint and small chips on the windshield. FML
Today, as I was driving, a bird swooped down, right in front of my car. I didn't have enough time to react, and so I had to listen to my wife cry the rest of the way home. She kept talking about how it bounced off the windshield and how it probably had a family. FML
Today, I was driving along when the car in front of me ran over an animal. I only realised this when a chunk of flesh and blood landed on my windscreen. I put my wipers on to get rid of it but instead it got stuck underneath the wipers and smeared all over the screen. FML
Today, while driving home, I looked in the rear-view mirror and saw that my three-year-old daughter had managed to get out of her seat and had crawled to the back window. I pulled over and strapped her in again. Five minutes later she was back at the window. FML
Today, I found a dead bird on my windshield. Thinking I was clever, I turned on my windshield wipers to get the bird off. Unfortunately, the dead bird fell through my open window and onto my lap. FML
Today, I picked up my daughter from daycare. As we were getting into the car, I strapped her into the car seat, but something felt off. I looked back and realized I had picked up the wrong kid. In my defense, she was wearing the same jacket as my daughter. FML
Today, I was really excited that I'd made it the two weeks I'd borrowed my mother-in-law's new car without putting a scratch on it. I got off work to discover a customer's child throwing rocks in the parking lot. They cracked the windshield. FML
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Top comments
anglcdvl89 0
I can just hear a little girl go "Look how pretty the butterfly i--WHATDIDYOUDOOOOO???" FbothyourL because now your daughter probably thinks your a monster.
xkonstantine125x 7
Lol...I'm still laughing..oh god this is great
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Comments (128)
pepperburn 0
hahahhahahaha this is awesome, sad for your daughter, but hilarious for the readers
IllegalLight 0
this is not a decent FML. pansy.
scary_s_7 0
lmao.
staciieee_x3 0
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. that is EPIC.
live_your_life_fml 0
hahaha. poor little girl.
ergo_fml 13
OMG. Poor butterfly. :(
monicamischief 0
ROFL. this is one of the funniest FML's i have read in a while. i can just see her face xDDD would have been hilarious. i don't know how half of you can feel actually sorry for the girl, this is hilarious but not sad.
hellomynamekeyes 0
Oh, well. Now you can teach her about death and the fragility of beauty.
skim1994 0
Lmao when I read this, I could almost imagine the expression from happiness to disbelief.
lol_Epic_Fail 0
Tell that that's what happens when you aren't where you're supposed to be.