Health: Today, I picked the treadmill next to an old man so I could feel... - FML

By Anonymous - 05/01/2010 20:16 - United States

Today, I picked the treadmill next to an old man so I could feel better about myself. He ran faster and longer than I did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 059

You deserved it 36 575

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Grandpa's got game

By Anonymous - 01/02/2017 20:00 - United States - Warren

Today, I tried out the high-tech eliptical at my gym. The 70-year-old man next to me who was also using one went faster and longer than I did, and unlike me didn't stop for a break. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 180

You deserved it 1 292

By Anonymous - 18/01/2015 16:34 - Ireland

Today, after the longest time, I went to the gym. I ran and ran and ran on the treadmill for an eternity, beating myself up for getting so overweight. Then I tripped and fell off, sweating and sobbing for being so useless. When I looked up, I saw I'd been on the machine for barely 2 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 957

You deserved it 20 682

By notsosexygirl - 21/02/2009 09:35 - United Kingdom

Today, I was doing my usual routine at the gym which consists of working out on the treadmills right in front of my ex boyfriend to make him feel bad. Whilst doing this, I tried to be cool and do that thing where as the treadmill slows down you turn around and just walk off the end. I fell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 072

You deserved it 68 570

By Slowsky - 09/05/2012 10:19 - United States - Claremont

Today, I was at the gym on the elliptical. Feeling proud of myself for finishing a very intense workout, I looked to my left to see that the maintenance guy fixing the machine next to me had burned more calories testing the machine than I did during my entire workout. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 564

You deserved it 5 567

Nice guys

By fatgirl4 - 20/07/2009 23:31 - United States

Today, I was at the gym running with intensity on the treadmill. As I was working out, I noticed a few guys behind me staring at me. I figured they were checking me out because I was losing some weight and looking better. Turns out they were betting on how much longer "Fat Ass" could last. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 168

You deserved it 6 636

By Holly - 05/02/2010 07:33 - United States

Today, I lied to the treadmill about my weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 776

You deserved it 35 263

By Lily - 09/10/2018 17:30

Today, I did a sprint in gym class. Despite being the skinniest in the class, I ran slower than everyone else, including two morbidly obese people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 145

You deserved it 2 556

Fitness guru

By Anonymous - 13/04/2016 16:41 - United States

Today, I joined my grandpa on his morning jog. I didn't last 15 minutes before nearly passing out from exhaustion. He came jogging back home nearly an hour later looking even better than he did when we left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 925

You deserved it 6 768

Health is overrated

By Anonymous - 16/03/2022 12:00

Today, trying to get into shape because I run out of breath after walking more than 30 minutes, I started to hit the gym. Too bad my legs didn’t want to cooperate and decided that it would cause limping-worthy pain for every step I took on the treadmill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 772

You deserved it 182

Out of shape

By Anonymous - 20/08/2023 12:00 - Australia

Today, I was feeling really good about going to the gym for the first time. That was until I got so worn out from my “warm up” on the treadmill that I had to go home and spew. FML

I agree, your life sucks 567

You deserved it 150

Next

Top comments

Snowboarder2010 0

Wednesday 6 January 2010 2:19

YDI for being judgmental. There is a lot of older people that run and exercise to stay in shape and stay healthy.

cecilylove 0

Wednesday 6 January 2010 2:09

Ouch. ;)

Comments

astriofou 0

Tuesday 17 May 2011 11:59

dont underestimate saggy old men. unless he has a cane then you can show him up :3

rozieslothinator 0

Saturday 21 May 2011 19:14

well dont assume that he's less energetic than you just because he's old! maybe he's young and he just looks old! ydi!

chattysoul890 18

Wednesday 12 October 2011 4:44

go old man go!

hoggie6 1

Friday 3 February 2012 3:54

Mandelbaum... Mandelbaum... Mandelbaum!

missalice0306 19

Saturday 21 July 2012 7:29

Wow, judgmental much?

fristinkristin 16

Saturday 14 June 2014 12:00

Lol don't underestimate people

namine120409 42

Friday 29 August 2014 12:32

Never judge a book by its cover.

LOUNGE_LIZARD 13

Monday 1 September 2014 19:02

at least you are trying to get in shape

JOEBOBARNOLD 15

Friday 28 November 2014 10:43

Was it slade wilson?

TheBookWyrm 18

Sunday 4 January 2015 23:26

I read from a reliable source - an ex-marine trainer, actually - that running is one of the most inefficient ways to burn calories. Instead, focus on building up your muscles - arms and legs. Bigger muscles take more calories to work, so you'll even use more calories just by walking around. If you follow the workout (by Mark Lauren, just search around, there's an iPad app as well) you should see results within three weeks.

1
2
3
4
5

Keywords

Health Poopoo peepee Jewelry Awkward Fight Family Kids Love Relatable Students Work Animals Birds Sleep Noise Mental health Medication Contraception Racism Cheating Pregnancy Relationship advice Friends Teenagers Embarrassing Sex Intimacy Food Revenge Cats

The Top

Today, I arrived at a camp and met one of my roommates. At bedtime, I had energy still, so I did push-ups. The guy was asleep or so I thought because he was facing the wall. The guy thought I was jacking off and told everyone I did it in the middle of our room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 814

You deserved it 2 837

Today, I met my boyfriend in Hong Kong after being apart for almost 6 months. We got to our room and got right down to business. I was just about to come when a voice came over the PA system in the room. "This is just a fire alarm test, sorry for any inconvenience." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 129

You deserved it 5 932

The Top

Today, at a family gathering, my aunt asked me when I was planning to have children. I'm only 16, I laughed and said not for a while, definitely not until I get married. My family shook their heads, and ignored me for the rest of the day. Apparently, teenage pregnancy is valued in my family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 205

You deserved it 3 277

Today, I wanted revenge on the rabbit who ate my garden's plants. When he returned, he was standing next to my brand new above-ground swimming pool. I pull out my 22. rifle and shot at it, but the bullet missed and popped a hole in my pool. 15,000 gallons of water flooded my basement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 034

You deserved it 287 424

Today, I met a girl who had a deeper voice than I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 219

You deserved it 4 408

Today, I bought lunch for my grandparents, aunts, and uncles. My uncle apparently felt uncomfortable at the restaurant, because he got up and flipped the table over before leaving. The bill tripled because of the broken glass, and my uncle called me up later for a ride. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 320

You deserved it 1 431

Today, my mother called me, telling me how disappointed she was at how I let my room "become such a pigsty." I haven't lived there in three years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 442

You deserved it 2 321

Today, after months of looking, my fiancé and I finally signed a lease. We are using my savings to pay for it. This apparently poses a "moral dilemma" for my in-laws, who think we should wait to be married. I'm paying for an apartment I'm not allowed to live in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 593

You deserved it 6 310