Today, I picked the treadmill next to an old man so I could feel better about myself. He ran faster and longer than I did. FML
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Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I tried out the high-tech eliptical at my gym. The 70-year-old man next to me who was also using one went faster and longer than I did, and unlike me didn't stop for a break. FML
Today, after the longest time, I went to the gym. I ran and ran and ran on the treadmill for an eternity, beating myself up for getting so overweight. Then I tripped and fell off, sweating and sobbing for being so useless. When I looked up, I saw I'd been on the machine for barely 2 minutes. FML
Today, I went outside to start jogging for improving my ever declining fitness. A kind stranger yelled, “You’re doing great!” as I was wheezing after my first block. I was sitting on a bench. FML
Today, I was doing my usual routine at the gym which consists of working out on the treadmills right in front of my ex boyfriend to make him feel bad. Whilst doing this, I tried to be cool and do that thing where as the treadmill slows down you turn around and just walk off the end. I fell. FML
Today, I was at the gym on the elliptical. Feeling proud of myself for finishing a very intense workout, I looked to my left to see that the maintenance guy fixing the machine next to me had burned more calories testing the machine than I did during my entire workout. FML
Today, I told my gym trainer I’d do anything to get in shape. He challenged me to run a mile without stopping. I agreed, then got winded halfway through and dramatically collapsed on the track. A 70 year-oldish woman jogged past me and said, “You’ll live.” FML
Today, I was at the gym running with intensity on the treadmill. As I was working out, I noticed a few guys behind me staring at me. I figured they were checking me out because I was losing some weight and looking better. Turns out they were betting on how much longer "Fat Ass" could last. FML
Today, I lied to the treadmill about my weight. FML
Today, I did a sprint in gym class. Despite being the skinniest in the class, I ran slower than everyone else, including two morbidly obese people. FML
Today, I joined my grandpa on his morning jog. I didn't last 15 minutes before nearly passing out from exhaustion. He came jogging back home nearly an hour later looking even better than he did when we left. FML
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Top comments
Snowboarder2010 0
YDI for being judgmental. There is a lot of older people that run and exercise to stay in shape and stay healthy.
cecilylove 0
Ouch. ;)
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Comments (42)
astriofou 0
dont underestimate saggy old men. unless he has a cane then you can show him up :3
rozieslothinator 0
well dont assume that he's less energetic than you just because he's old! maybe he's young and he just looks old! ydi!
chattysoul890 18
go old man go!
hoggie6 1
Mandelbaum... Mandelbaum... Mandelbaum!
missalice0306 19
Wow, judgmental much?
fristinkristin 16
Lol don't underestimate people
namine120409 42
Never judge a book by its cover.
LOUNGE_LIZARD 13
at least you are trying to get in shape
JOEBOBARNOLD 15
Was it slade wilson?
TheBookWyrm 18
I read from a reliable source - an ex-marine trainer, actually - that running is one of the most inefficient ways to burn calories. Instead, focus on building up your muscles - arms and legs. Bigger muscles take more calories to work, so you'll even use more calories just by walking around. If you follow the workout (by Mark Lauren, just search around, there's an iPad app as well) you should see results within three weeks.