Intimacy: Today, I painted a kids room at my new nanny job while the dad...

By Anonymous - 21/04/2011 01:39 - United States

Today, I painted a kids room at my new nanny job while the dad "helped" by staring at my ass and telling me how hard it is to position your "junk" correctly when wearing a speedo. First day on the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 325

You deserved it 3 845

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Checkpoint Charlie

By VHgolf1989 - 16/03/2022 22:00

Today, I get to go to my new job and have the boss's kid watch me as I do all the grunt work, and he just sits there watching me, only to come and correct me on how to do my job. Oh joy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 891

You deserved it 120

By f_n_fail - 06/12/2016 21:31 - United States

Today, I got a note from my son's kindergarten teacher. During free time yesterday, he told her, "Mommy was stripping". I was indeed stripping. Paint that is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 181

You deserved it 721

Great start

By whytoday - 14/05/2011 06:50 - United States

Today, on the first day of my nanny job, I wanted to impress my employers with how trustworthy and responsible I am. During the sixty seconds that I went to pee, the two-year-old found a black Sharpie and scribbled all over the wall. Nail polish remover made it ten times worse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 449

You deserved it 8 350

By cock blocked - 22/04/2015 15:44 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I started work cleaning a customer's pool. I think her husband watches too much porn because he keeps glaring at me from the windows, and I overheard him telling his wife that he knows what's "going on" and that he's "not gonna let it happen". FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 142

You deserved it 2 473

By heyyoitsapotato - 31/05/2013 02:35 - United States

Today, while working as a lifeguard, a kid took a dump in the pool. When I told everyone to clear the pool so we could clean it, another kid promptly stared at me, stood at the shallow end right where I was standing, pulled down his trunks, and peed on my feet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 125

You deserved it 3 297

By Lunazel93 - 22/10/2012 04:07 - Canada - Mississauga

Today, at work as a massage therapist, I pulled down the guy's blanket slightly to massage his lower back. There were shit stains spreading from his ass crack all the way to his mid-back. When I told him, he wanted me to massage there anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 433

You deserved it 1 915

By Anonymous - 21/08/2012 17:39 - United States - Charlotte

Today, I walked into the restroom at work, only to find my boss stroking and playing with himself. I have my annual performance assessment with him in an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 596

You deserved it 2 331

By Anonymous - 11/09/2011 19:16 - United Kingdom

Today, I had to clean up after the kid that discovered he could finger paint with his poo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 237

You deserved it 3 179

Probably illegal activities

By Anonymous - 10/02/2022 04:00

Today, I had to find a babysitter while I attended a mandatory work function. We were told to bring lunch and wear clothes we didn't mind getting dirty for a day of team building exercises. I guess that's what the boss calls painting the office. We don't get paid for it, and the boss is on vacation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 416

You deserved it 105

By lifesucks0925 - 06/09/2013 07:01 - United States - Vallejo

Today, I had to clean human excrement at work when the fitting room turned into the shitting room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 777

You deserved it 2 816

denvan 0

Thursday 21 April 2011 8:55

You should've told him, when you wear a bikini it's harder to position your junk.

Death_From_Above 0

Thursday 21 April 2011 8:46

I like his job!

Comments

ryukensfj 5

Thursday 21 April 2011 11:10

cum paint my room too

ReaganKJ 0

Thursday 21 April 2011 11:23

mmmmm sexy babysitter fantasy.....

xtacticalswarmx 0

Thursday 21 April 2011 11:26

Lol^

OochenSnoochen 15

Thursday 21 April 2011 18:42

not to be weird or anything Reagan, but I think I love you.

Sniper_Fidelis 1

Thursday 21 April 2011 22:34

NO FAT CHICKS.

jeremyt8nc 6

Friday 22 April 2011 0:26

You wanna be my babysitter and let the fantasy come to life?

rarrar51 0

Thursday 21 April 2011 11:40

charge extra? pay-per-view actually makes a lot of money on tv....but I'm not saying be a poooostar. .____.

rarrar51 0

Thursday 21 April 2011 11:48

that didn't come out the way I wanted it.... -____- let the hating begin.

kyanisaurus 0

Thursday 21 April 2011 13:05

hate hate. rawr

rarrar51 0

Monday 25 April 2011 10:38

it's eating at my soul :'{

DCFan 9

Thursday 21 April 2011 11:55

props for your spelling..................

jandee 0

Thursday 21 April 2011 11:56

@ 32 STFU.! Op, The Dad Is A Freaking Creep.! Made Me Laugh xD..

Big4ofThrash 0

Thursday 21 April 2011 12:25

What a great test

demondog562 0

Thursday 21 April 2011 12:31

this only sucks if the dad isn't hot. if he is then lucky you xD

rashott 0

Thursday 21 April 2011 13:18

you wanna come paint my house. ill double his pay.

holton 0

Thursday 21 April 2011 14:03

do him

hatesboners 0

Thursday 21 April 2011 14:16

well stated.

Keywords

Video games Gamers Annoying Relatable Birthday Abuse Scams Money Social Media Education Kids School Parents Health Public freakouts Mental health Grieving Music Geek Poopoo peepee Awkward Jewelry Bikes Cops Transportation Family Fight Customers Gross Work

The Top

Today, my husband and I were role playing to keep our marriage alive. His character was a deranged stalker while I was the helpless girl. My neighbor thought I was really being chased so she called the cops. Once they came we explained the whole story and got a fine for disturbing the peace. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 850

You deserved it 7 891

Today, I was eating out with a group of friends and my boyfriend. During the meal, I accidentally took a sip from my male friend's glass. My boyfriend pointed and said, "Babe, you took his drink." My friend responded by putting his arm round me and saying, "Whatever, I took her virginity." FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 088

You deserved it 18 231

The Top

Today, thanks to some asswipe drunk driver fleeing the cops the wrong way down a one-way street, I've now had my third wreck this year. My insurance premium's now higher than Bob Marley in a weed factory. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 530

You deserved it 3 453

Today, my sister pointed out a weird black mass underneath the lace of my dress. Perplexed, I looked down to inspect further and discover a wasp, under my boobs, attempting to build a nest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 053

You deserved it 1 293

Today, I got lost at Best Buy. Meanwhile, my mom freaked out, and they called out my name over the intercom. When I walked up to the desk and they saw I was 17, the employees burst out laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 031

You deserved it 4 433

Today, I went to a dance and saw a really cute guy. Glow sticks were everywhere, so trying to be cute, I took a broken one and dripped some of the glowing liquid on my chest. It made him notice me, but only for him to point out that I'd managed to cut myself and was bleeding badly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 934

You deserved it 51 992

Today, I was at my Mandarin teacher's house. I had diarrhoea and had to go to the toilet. My mum texted me while I was still in the toilet saying, "We all heard you". FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 607

You deserved it 2 725

Today, I was walking through town when a rough looking woman asked me for a cigarette. I don't smoke but I offered her some apples, and she took two. As I continued on past her, she pegged both of them at me, hitting the back of my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 227

You deserved it 11 886

Same thing different taste

Checkpoint Charlie

Great start

Probably illegal activities

Top comments

Comments