Intimacy: Today, I painted a kids room at my new nanny job while the dad...

By Anonymous - 21/04/2011 01:39 - United States

Today, I painted a kids room at my new nanny job while the dad "helped" by staring at my ass and telling me how hard it is to position your "junk" correctly when wearing a speedo. First day on the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 325

You deserved it 3 845

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Checkpoint Charlie

By VHgolf1989 - 16/03/2022 22:00

Today, I get to go to my new job and have the boss's kid watch me as I do all the grunt work, and he just sits there watching me, only to come and correct me on how to do my job. Oh joy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 891

You deserved it 120

By f_n_fail - 06/12/2016 21:31 - United States

Today, I got a note from my son's kindergarten teacher. During free time yesterday, he told her, "Mommy was stripping". I was indeed stripping. Paint that is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 181

You deserved it 721

Great start

By whytoday - 14/05/2011 06:50 - United States

Today, on the first day of my nanny job, I wanted to impress my employers with how trustworthy and responsible I am. During the sixty seconds that I went to pee, the two-year-old found a black Sharpie and scribbled all over the wall. Nail polish remover made it ten times worse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 449

You deserved it 8 350

By cock blocked - 22/04/2015 15:44 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I started work cleaning a customer's pool. I think her husband watches too much porn because he keeps glaring at me from the windows, and I overheard him telling his wife that he knows what's "going on" and that he's "not gonna let it happen". FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 142

You deserved it 2 473

By heyyoitsapotato - 31/05/2013 02:35 - United States

Today, while working as a lifeguard, a kid took a dump in the pool. When I told everyone to clear the pool so we could clean it, another kid promptly stared at me, stood at the shallow end right where I was standing, pulled down his trunks, and peed on my feet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 125

You deserved it 3 297

By Lunazel93 - 22/10/2012 04:07 - Canada - Mississauga

Today, at work as a massage therapist, I pulled down the guy's blanket slightly to massage his lower back. There were shit stains spreading from his ass crack all the way to his mid-back. When I told him, he wanted me to massage there anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 433

You deserved it 1 915

By Anonymous - 21/08/2012 17:39 - United States - Charlotte

Today, I walked into the restroom at work, only to find my boss stroking and playing with himself. I have my annual performance assessment with him in an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 596

You deserved it 2 331

By Anonymous - 11/09/2011 19:16 - United Kingdom

Today, I had to clean up after the kid that discovered he could finger paint with his poo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 237

You deserved it 3 179

Probably illegal activities

By Anonymous - 10/02/2022 04:00

Today, I had to find a babysitter while I attended a mandatory work function. We were told to bring lunch and wear clothes we didn't mind getting dirty for a day of team building exercises. I guess that's what the boss calls painting the office. We don't get paid for it, and the boss is on vacation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 416

You deserved it 104

By lifesucks0925 - 06/09/2013 07:01 - United States - Vallejo

Today, I had to clean human excrement at work when the fitting room turned into the shitting room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 777

You deserved it 2 816

denvan 0

Thursday 21 April 2011 8:55

You should've told him, when you wear a bikini it's harder to position your junk.

Death_From_Above 0

Thursday 21 April 2011 8:46

I like his job!

Comments

tr0llz0r 0

Thursday 21 April 2011 20:25

Tell him you don't charge much more for his junk to be repositioned in your mouth.

brieebeear 0

Thursday 21 April 2011 20:54

I'm with #9 and it is actually hard . especially if you haven't shaved in a couple days :

oatmeal_boi 6

Thursday 21 April 2011 21:16

Quit. Immediately.

oatmeal_boi 6

Thursday 21 April 2011 21:19

Hilarious shit.

goldenone 2

Thursday 21 April 2011 22:06

that's cause you're not attractive

Calyx_fml 21

Thursday 21 April 2011 22:51

**** him. Then ask for a raise.

pizzle012345 0

Thursday 21 April 2011 23:17

I bet dad wishes he can position his junk into your ass

RebelYell14 4

Friday 22 April 2011 1:06

Needed to be the last day on the job.

88sforlife 0

Friday 22 April 2011 4:07

if he works it she may get a raise !

Zombieslayer1 0

Friday 22 April 2011 6:54

although she might get a raise she would probably never get a good job after that. As far as it goes there will most likely be something that comes up such as a tape that she didn't know was recording, or one of the kids walked in and told mother/relative. Just don't do it.