By ohshit - 29/03/2011 00:31 - Canada

Today, I was painting my bedroom walls, when I was struck with an uncontrollable bout of diarrhea. I had to watch helplessly from the en-suite bathroom as my 2 year old daughter painted a lovely picture for me, all over my new $500 sofa. FML
I agree, your life sucks 31 306
You deserved it 8 355

Same thing different taste

Top comments

jen993 0

and you couldn't yell out to stop ?!?!

ahhh Poocasso strikes again!! paints while you helplessly sit on the toilet taking a dump.


datkid117 13

Wow I'm sorry. That truly sucks!

you should have gotten up and stopped her. it probably would have cost less to clean the floor (whether or not it was carpet) (I think)

you should've shit on her… that's what I would've done

sammywhits 0

why did you have a two year d lose anyway without you watching her? where was she when u were painting?!

LinTurk 4

That does suck:( but I would have stopped her, or took her with me.

apparently 54 can't read. 50 can't spell but what he/she said makes sense and the questions are valid.

I agree with 50. Why would you have your 2 year old running around loose while your painting a room? That's asking for trouble with or without the *****.

This FML doesn't make any sense. We all know girls don't poop, when they eat the food just gets turned into emotion.

ReynshineCutting 10

The 2 year old could have been helping paint, playing with toys nearby, watching tv nearby, etc. She was probably doing something and as soon as mommy left she decided to okay with the paint. It's not that she was "running loose". She was obviously close enough to OP that she was watching her while she was painting the room. I won't be too hard on you guys for it since most of you are probably in high school and don't know what it's like raising kids. But I'll just throw out there that you don't lock them up...

omg that does. need to keep some pepto handy

500$ isnt that bad.... at least ur whole house was not filled with water last night like my narbours had

It does not suck! The OP is an ungrateful bastard.


get off the can and shank a bitch!

Thanks for brightening my day with that post:)

I mean really! What does you little juvenile delinquent do when you take a shower?

ahhh Poocasso strikes again!! paints while you helplessly sit on the toilet taking a dump.

Life_is_FML 22

Being non-religious is sounding better and better every day...

jen993 0

and you couldn't yell out to stop ?!?!

Because an average 2 year old stops when the parent yells from across the house. idiot.

The average 2-year old DOES stop when yelled at from across the room, however, where OP was perched on the porcelain throne. Who's the idiot?

Depends on the 2 year old. The 2 year old I care for has a very strong willed, independent mind of her own. She either ignores or back talks. Time out wouldn't be so easy while the mom is stuck on the toilet!

while it does depend on the 2year old, most would at least stop for a second to look at you while you're telling them not to do something, and in cases like that I can think of a few things to say that'd get most two year olds to stop. no dessert no more toys or tv or you could bribe them some 2year olds may still do it, but most two year olds don't need to be physically stopped from doing something and if they do it might be time to question whether or not you're being too leniant with them.

sammywhits 0

thats exactly what I was thinking if op could see the kid then that mean the kid could hear op..

my son knew the difference between silly mommy and serious mommy since he could move around on his own. get your kid under control.

iLOLatURpain69 7

"My two year old daughter used painted" v

Well your kid is probably a bit of a pansy jenna. Sorry if you thought you were the ideal to which all parents aim, but most normal 2 year olds are go through a rebellious stage.

time out? are you ******* kidding me!!! you give that kid one good slap on the butt and see how much she talks back then.

trixy81 10

wow she probably never thought of that!

DaPolack1984, I'm all for corporal punishment, but you don't hit a 2-year old. Ever. They are too young to understand the meaning of spankings.

bullshit doc. spankings hurt right? only given out after the child has done something wrong? and I'm pretty sure that even dogs learn how to associate to actions with each other. I find discomfort a much more understandable means than a time out. how does a two year old even understand that standing in a corner is a bad thing?

NoraT_fml 6

the 2 year olds I've delt with when you yell at them. they give you the finger and piss on your stuff. Such wonder kids in my town.

perdix 29

You could have stopped her, put you'd have painted a brown stripe on your carpet . . . which would be less lovely than the drawing.

Exactly what I was thinking... Isn't it better to have shit on your floor than to have paint on your expensive sofa? Besides, you could probably hold a trash can/paint can under your asshole and stop her without leaving a brown streak on your floor.

Wisdom like yours is hard to come by. Glad I did.

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LexxyLiime 0

Your picture is scary as hell

Sounds like somebody is a spoiled bastard.

maybe if she had to work 500 would be a lot when u have to pay for it

you have bigger lips than Jay-Z. now, that, my friend, is the true fml

31 I love your pic. looks like an amazing time lol

could of been part of a set :/ and yes she has a kid so I wouldn't expect Her to have buckets of money. sounds like she was renovating to me which isn't cheap anyways

account_name 0

18 is a bastard for having a gay star wars pic

Egnar 19

I'm trying to figure out why you would let a 2 year old loose in a hazardous part of the house that more than likely is oozing with paint fumes. Not to mention toddlers like to touch everything, wet paint not being an exception. I don't know your home life or the reasoning behind letting a 2 year old loose but it seems obvious to me that the best time to paint would be "nap-time" - Or, asking a friend to take the kid out to the park for the day. . .Hell, even paying a High School kid to babysit. . .Don't need much credentials when you're home and just hiring somebody to watch her in other areas of the house.

chammi 0

I agree with everything you said. she was looking for trouble by letting the kid loose. Op, YDI!

ronkster44 2

you are stupid, please stop your douche baggery...

jinxthejinx 0

It really bothers me when people who obviously have no children feel like they can accurately judge a parent's situation. Especially from a short paragraph. That said, I have a kid & I agree with the points you made. However, there are probably a million details to this situation that could explain why it resulted in such disaster. ie; perhaps OP did indeed hire a high school kid to watch her two-year-old, and said kid was too busy sexting or twitting, or whatever kids do these days, and let the babe get out of sight. You never know man. Wow, I'm long-winded.

"Letting the kid loose?" Wtf do you tie your child up, or lock your child in a room? I bet your a liberal, get over it

LinTurk 4

I agree. paint and toddlers do not mix, as she unfortunately found out. lesson learned.

ReynshineCutting 10

I agree. What's with all these people implying that toddlers have to stay in playpens or confined or something?

42 liberal is perhaps not the word you wanted

chammi 0

42, quit being a idiot. it's understood I meant you shouldn't let a kid loose while painting. especially a 2 year old who puts their hands on everything. COMMON SENSE.

Egnar 19

I'm pretty sure such would be in the FML. . . As in ". . .the babysitter didn't help." Do I have kids? no I don't have any of my own, but I don't see how that changes the situation. . .on top of even declaring that I am unaware of the OPs situation. However, not having kids doesn't change my common sense. . . It's not like I came out here saying "OMFG YOU NEWB OP YOU SHOULD KNOW BETTER" - Are you really telling me if you needed to paint your bedroom [which implies she lives in a place that has other rooms] you would let your toddler run around unopposed in such an area that is completely dangerous for such a small child?. . .probably not.

ReynshineCutting 10

I would let my child help me paint the room. It's a good parent-child activity. You just make sure everything that could pose a hazard is gone, and use safe paint. More and more paint companies are making house paint that doesn't have all the chemicals and fumes in it so it's not hard to find. And besides, how many of us grew up exposed to things that are now deemed "harmful" and don't have any problems? Christmas lights come with a lead warning now and we all helped put them up growing up (unless you don't celebrate Christmas). We all slept in drop side cribs which are now illegal. We're too overprotective these days and each generation is becoming sissier and sissier. Sorry. End rant.

Egnar 19

"don't put X-mas lights in your mouth" is far different than "Open all windows and fumigate area properly due to extreme smells and fumes that could make an ADULT lightheaded and dizzy." It's not about letting your kid not run around the house unopposed and hate when I see little kids confined to small areas, but, sometimes it's for a safety reason. You guys can let your 2 year olds paint with you [even if it's a safe paint] but you're asking for trouble when you give a 2 year old something that is far worse than the typical "Crayons on walls" as a medium for their creativity.

NavyAvi 0

you saved me from typing a comment lol

jahr4mkr 1

please don't stop ranting. your point is completely valid.