Today, I ordered a chicken sandwich. I was starving and it was the fastest thing to order. Half way through it, I found something which does not belong, and removed it. It was half a cockroach, and I don't know where the other half is. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I found a roach in my takeaway. I found it after I felt something hard in my mouth and spat pieces of it back out onto my plate. FML
Today, I ordered ramen to go. I looked at my order and discovered a cockroach. Disgusted, I showed it to them, and they apologized by "replacing" it for free. Later on, while I was enjoying the delicious food, I once again discovered a cockroach buried under all the noodles. FML
Today, I ordered some food to get delivered. When I opened the bag a fly flew out. FML
Today, I was drinking lemon juice through a straw. After finishing half of the drink, I noticed there was a cockroach in my straw. FML
Today, whilst on a road trip with friends, we stopped at a roadside diner for lunch. I ordered a chicken sandwich and when it arrived, I took a huge bite out of it, only to realize that it was still completely raw in the middle. FML
Today, I was stuck on the toilet with a huge stomachache after eating bad food the day before. I got up to flush when I noticed that there was a cockroach struggling feebly in the pile of crap. I'll never know if it got there before or after I crapped. FML
Today, I was having a cheat meal after two weeks of strict dieting. When I opened the pizza box, I saw a cockroach. It had been baked into the cheese. FML
Today, I started my new job. I went to microwave food, only to discover roaches and ants crawling out of it. Now I am grossed out but still hungry. FML
Today, I was dumping some old milk in the sink and noticed it wasn't going down. Assuming food was clogging the drain, I stuck my hand down in it to remove the food. I removed a blueberry and half a cockroach. FML
Today, I woke up late and in a rush, I grabbed what I thought was a container of leftover spaghetti from the refrigerator to take to work. At lunch, I opened it to find it wasn't spaghetti, but raw marinated chicken my roommate had prepped for dinner. I ended up eating a vending machine sandwich that tasted like cardboard. FML
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Top comments
Expertfail 0
Maybe it was a really deformed half-cockroach? Or maybe you ate it.
socalsd 0
Sue them!
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Comments (138)
1goodthing 0
heard it before... so many times
jackkerouc9 0
Isint that a delicacy in france?
beethoven_fml 0
omg omg omg i would cry
barsavi 0
Christ... if that happened to me id be too busy talking to my lawyer and probably vomiting to post that on here.
wozer 0
extra protein!
dspadres 0
I betcha I know where the other half is... and I'm not telling.
delfinofrank 0
What's the big deal? Don't you disgusting liberal French socialists eat snails and frog legs? A bowl full of bugs should be an afternoon snack for y'all.
flying_vegan 0
Don't you conservative ***** wear swastikas and hate anyone who doesn't believe like you?
291togo 0
Scientifically speaking, cockroaches are among the cleanest insects in the world. Flies on the other hand, vomit everytime they land/eat. So you're good to go.
tristangage 0
Three reasons why flies do not vomit every time they land: (1) There are some 90,000 different species of flies in the world, and they have all sorts of different feeding strategies. It's like saying "birds have razor-sharp talons and beaks they use to tear their prey apart" instead of specifying that you're talking only about bald eagles. The particular factoid you've heard presumably refers to the house fly, Musca domestica, and has little or no relevance to the remaining 90,000 species. (2) House flies secrete saliva whenever they attempt to feed, but they don't attempt to feed every time they land. They only do so when they're in need of nutrients, and the chemical sensors on their feet and/or antennae inform them that they may be standing on a source of nutrients. (3) Strictly speaking, vomiting is the regurgitation of stomach contents, and house flies never regurgitate their stomach contents. What they do is technically spitting (or drooling), not vomiting. By the way, house flies don't spread disease by spitting on your food, disgusting as that sounds. The disease comes from their feet when they land on your food after they've earlier been feasting on manure or viscera or other bacteria-laden goodies.
shirmk 0
hehe u sound like my science teacher
Ohnothingreally 0
Well, you know what they say. Everything tastes like chicken.
mizu22 0
it might not have been in the sandwich *crosses fingers for you*. and flies don't vomit when they land, they poop ;)