Today, I ordered a chicken sandwich. I was starving and it was the fastest thing to order. Half way through it, I found something which does not belong, and removed it. It was half a cockroach, and I don't know where the other half is. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I found a roach in my takeaway. I found it after I felt something hard in my mouth and spat pieces of it back out onto my plate. FML
Today, I ordered ramen to go. I looked at my order and discovered a cockroach. Disgusted, I showed it to them, and they apologized by "replacing" it for free. Later on, while I was enjoying the delicious food, I once again discovered a cockroach buried under all the noodles. FML
Today, I ordered some food to get delivered. When I opened the bag a fly flew out. FML
Today, I was drinking lemon juice through a straw. After finishing half of the drink, I noticed there was a cockroach in my straw. FML
Today, whilst on a road trip with friends, we stopped at a roadside diner for lunch. I ordered a chicken sandwich and when it arrived, I took a huge bite out of it, only to realize that it was still completely raw in the middle. FML
Today, I was stuck on the toilet with a huge stomachache after eating bad food the day before. I got up to flush when I noticed that there was a cockroach struggling feebly in the pile of crap. I'll never know if it got there before or after I crapped. FML
Today, I was having a cheat meal after two weeks of strict dieting. When I opened the pizza box, I saw a cockroach. It had been baked into the cheese. FML
Today, I started my new job. I went to microwave food, only to discover roaches and ants crawling out of it. Now I am grossed out but still hungry. FML
Today, I was dumping some old milk in the sink and noticed it wasn't going down. Assuming food was clogging the drain, I stuck my hand down in it to remove the food. I removed a blueberry and half a cockroach. FML
Today, I woke up late and in a rush, I grabbed what I thought was a container of leftover spaghetti from the refrigerator to take to work. At lunch, I opened it to find it wasn't spaghetti, but raw marinated chicken my roommate had prepped for dinner. I ended up eating a vending machine sandwich that tasted like cardboard. FML
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Top comments
Expertfail 0
Maybe it was a really deformed half-cockroach? Or maybe you ate it.
socalsd 0
Sue them!
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Comments (138)
MrKing45 6
Crunchy. Nuff Said. :)
Wirbelwind 2
Sounds like mcdonalds
PutzRacing 0
SUE!
THExistentialist 13
anyone using the phrase "it's just protein!" is an ass hat. there was plentiful protein in the chicken, surely, and you yourself would be like WTFOMGFML if you took a bite of a sandwhich and found half a cockroach up in your mayo. STFU. besides, one single roach is higher in bacteria carried all over its little crunchy body than six or seven roaches combined would be in protein.
7red 2
And that's why I don't eat fast food when I go in US
Miooow 16
Hahah YUMMs the WORD!
funsizedfreek 4
My guess is your stomach...
coolsunshinebear 14
I had a dream yesterday that i ate a sandwich with a cockroach... I feel for you...
DreamyMia 16
Mind if I take a lucky guess about the location of the missing half? x) Sorry OP not nice at all... better luck next time, I always open my sandwiches when they are not home made.
Hipnog 15
Now drink your own piss and you will become Bear Grylls.