Intimacy: Today, I noticed the woman I've been sleeping with for over 2... - FML

By audied - 04/01/2010 21:26 - United States

Spicy

Today, I noticed the woman I've been sleeping with for over 2 years never lets me see her naked during sex. I confronted her about it and she replied, "I don't care if you see me naked. I was just leaving the lights off the whole time so I don't have to see you naked." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 286

You deserved it 4 615

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

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Same thing different taste

By EyesOffMe - 07/09/2009 04:04 - Canada

Today, I was getting changed in front of my roommate of two years. Feeling comfortable, I took off all my clothes and started putting new clothes on. I asked why she wasn't taking her eyes off my naked body. She said, "I'm loving the view. Didn't you know I'm a lesbian?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 003

You deserved it 58 974

Wait, what?

By Sally - 24/07/2009 09:04 - United States

Today, my roommate came home and began changing clothes in the same room that my boyfriend and I were in. I quickly got annoyed and angry and when I began questioning her about it she just laughed while saying, "Oh relax, it's not like he's never seen me naked before." FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 357

You deserved it 4 770

By Anonymous - 11/09/2009 17:04 - United States

Spicy

Today, I went to my girlfriend's and she was wearing some sexy lingerie. After making out passionately for 10 minutes, I started to undress myself, only to have her stop me, confessed that she still wasn't sexually attracted to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 261

You deserved it 4 006

Oddly specific

By Anonymous - 27/06/2022 04:00

Spicy

Today, I overheard my girlfriend admit to her sister she likes sex in the dark not because she’s embarrassed of her body, but because she’s disgusted by mine. She loves me, enjoys sex with me, and wants to make me happy, but apparently my tattoos and hairy chest are a turn off, so no lights. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 630

You deserved it 400

Minor Threat

By Anonymous - 24/01/2014 20:24 - France - Paris

Spicy

Today, after a big argument, my girlfriend looked me dead in the eyes and said, "I can go the rest of my life without sex, you know." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 379

You deserved it 13 281

By Joshua - 03/06/2016 17:53 - United States - Weatherford

Today, the woman I have been seeing said she couldn't see a future with me. This was all because I didn't text her back when I fell asleep after working a double night/morning shift. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 502

You deserved it 1 214

Hang ups

By at least put on sexy underwear - 01/09/2023 20:00

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend complained that we never have sex anymore. The only way she ever wants sex is missionary, with barely any foreplay. When I asked if we could spice things up and mentioned a few simple ideas, she said the conversation was making her uncomfortable and changed the subject. FML

I agree, your life sucks 528

You deserved it 112

Libido says no

By Anonymous - 16/08/2021 05:01 - United Kingdom - Norwich

Spicy

Today, I discovered my girlfriend of 5 years would rather split up than make any shred of effort to revive her utterly dead libido from the last 2 years. She promised the whole past month to make an effort, before admitting she never gave a shit when my patience with her ran out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 866

You deserved it 781

Topping from the bottom

By Anonymous - 23/01/2023 21:00

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend wanted to have a conversation about sex. After she finished telling me what she liked, in exact detail, I said, "Well, I really like…" She cut me off and said, "I don't give a fuck what you like." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 606

You deserved it 295

Time is money

By asdfasdf - 24/01/2009 15:14 - Canada

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend said she didn't want to have sex because it takes too long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 178

You deserved it 5 958

Next

Top comments

Decipher 0

Tuesday 5 January 2010 1:02

buurrnnnn

JD_Knuckles 0

Tuesday 5 January 2010 1:12

Just be glad you're getting some. There are people with nicer bodies and still haven't gotten any. It's not like her's is any better...

Comments

ChiefLancaster 0

Thursday 14 October 2010 9:12

Better yet,, just let the air out of the blow up doll your banging and she wont see ya....

stevenmx86 7

Wednesday 11 May 2011 22:39

Oh snap! Pwned!

cburke9 7

Friday 28 October 2011 20:51

thats a woman's way of saying you need to work out, so get to it

kimmyN 5

Sunday 24 June 2012 16:21

Hahahahahaha! Sorry OP, but thats really funny.

Addiction333 14

Sunday 21 February 2016 19:45

She doesn't deserve to see you naked.

Billie-Jo 9

Monday 5 April 2021 3:57

You asked a question, and you got an answer.

Keywords

Health Relatable Public freakouts Music Scams Geek Poopoo peepee Awkward Jewelry Bikes Cops Transportation Fight Family Kids Mother in law Miscellaneous AITA Relationship advice Social Media Love Art Work Students Noise Animals Birds Sleep Mental health Medication

The Top

Today, I was told by my sister over the dinner table that some guy is telling people I’ve had sex with him; that’s not even the worst part. He’s telling people my sister walked in. One, I haven’t talked to him in years; two, he’s really not my type, three, I’m in a relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 140

You deserved it 96

Today, I was driving to visit my parents for the first time in two years. After spending about $4000 to make sure my car wouldn't break down on the journey, around the halfway point, the front tire popped and the engine blew out. I'm about 5 states away from both my parents and my home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 732

You deserved it 489

The Top

Today, I was planning to start my fitness regime and lose weight, using the bike that had been lying unused in my garden for the past six months. Tonight, the bike was stolen from my garden. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 756

You deserved it 6 286

Today, my girlfriend and I started fighting. Instead of arguing for herself, she decided to set her puppy on me. Only "Puppy" is the name of her fully-grown police-trained German Shepherd. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 107

You deserved it 7 462

Today, I slept in late and when I woke up, thought I was the only one in the house so I decided to walk around the corner to the only upstairs bathroom naked. My dad also slept in, also thought he was the only one in the house, and also decided to walk to the bathroom naked. We collided. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 332

You deserved it 14 920

Today, my brother got his very first paycheck and blew it all on weed and a godawful tattoo, whereas I have been saving steadily for three years. Yet according to mum and dad, I'm the one who is irresponsible with money, because if I was being responsible I'd have enough for my own house by now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 439

You deserved it 1 645

Today, my mother-in-law texted to wish me a happy birthday. She spelled my name wrong and it's not my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 856

You deserved it 322

Today, I walked in on my brother masturbating. In the living room. For the second time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 888

You deserved it 252