Love: Today, I noticed the only time my husband stops snoring like... - FML

By Anonymous - 14/05/2012 05:26 - United States - Burbank

Today, I noticed the only time my husband stops snoring like a drunken horse is so that he can fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 342

You deserved it 2 462

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Same thing different taste

By Insomniac - 18/05/2019 04:17

Today, and for the past four years, the only time my husband stops snoring while asleep is so that he can fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 806

You deserved it 177

By Tired Girlfriend - 14/06/2017 22:00

Today, it's 2am. I've been trying to get to sleep for the past two hours next to my snoring boyfriend. Every time I nudge him to shut him up, his body tenses, he farts, then goes straight back to snoring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 884

You deserved it 483

The language of love

By disgusted - 24/09/2012 19:16 - United Kingdom - Harpenden

Today, my husband asked me to spoon him. He used it as an excuse to start farting on me. Yep, this is my husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 904

You deserved it 6 510

By anonomys - 05/09/2011 19:19 - Canada

Today, my husband compared me to his parents' dog. Why? Because when I sleep, I fart and scare myself awake. Just like his parents' dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 277

You deserved it 10 112

Noise complaint

By no sleep for me - 08/01/2013 07:44

Today, I tried to get my boyfriend to roll over while he was asleep. He snores loud enough to wake the neighbors and if he lays on his side he usually stops. Instead of rolling over, he stuck his leg in the air, farted twice, and laughed about it in his sleep. He's still snoring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 391

You deserved it 5 728

Gassy

By Fartnonymous - 18/08/2015 10:59 - Qatar - Doha

Today, it's been a week since I started farting in my sleep for no apparent reason. It's so frequent and so foul-smelling that my husband and I are both losing sleep and are having to take afternoon naps to make up for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 758

You deserved it 2 668

By PissedOff - 26/01/2017 14:25

Today, my husband sent me a short video of my snoring last night because I wanted to hear how bad I sound. The first few seconds went by OK, but for the rest of the clip I could barely hear anything else over the sound of my husband taking a long piss in our bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 777

You deserved it 480

By Anonymous - 30/11/2009 07:37 - United States

Today, I woke up to find my boyfriend watching me sleep. I asked him if he was staring at me because he was in love. He replied that it was because my farting wouldn't let him sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 777

You deserved it 13 968

Hilarious

By Anonymous - 01/02/2012 20:21 - United States

Today, my morning sickness has been so bad that my husband's farts send me running to the bathroom. He thinks it's hilarious, and has been following me around all day trying to crack one off in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 271

You deserved it 4 006

Toxic

By Anonymous - 21/10/2022 02:00

Today, I realized that the only time my boyfriend ever wants to hug me is just after he's let off a fart and wants to pull me into it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 812

You deserved it 151

Next

Top comments

Zaxnu 0

Monday 14 May 2012 12:26

Are you sleeping with my husband?

shayshayshazam 14

Monday 14 May 2012 11:47

That really doesn't sound like a good time.

Comments

freakguy455 0

Monday 14 May 2012 19:09

Welcome to the wonderful life of matrimony....

hotforkegger 4

Monday 14 May 2012 21:02

I feel your pain lol

usolOvin 7

Monday 14 May 2012 22:03

Yeaaaah! Good times haha jp

kimg0885 23

Monday 14 May 2012 22:50

Try smothering him with a pillow?

bramberkhout 10

Monday 14 May 2012 23:43

Give the poor fella a break, he probably hates it too but just cant help it. He loves you and makes your life more happy and meaningfull, right? Hope you guys can find a good solution.

alycion 38

Tuesday 15 May 2012 0:34

Got to live the middle of the night butt bugle brigade. Especially when it scares the cats.

jflo1976 1

Tuesday 15 May 2012 1:46

His balls are covering his asshole, n creating a vapor lock!!!

ebfbruh 0

Tuesday 15 May 2012 3:45

Have u actually heard a drunken horse snore? I have... Sounds like your husband (read with the voice of bill shatner)

fenixtorador1 11

Tuesday 15 May 2012 6:04

Give him the Dutch oven

bramberkhout 10

Thursday 17 May 2012 0:31

As a Dutchman, I approve this message.

merrielp 13

Tuesday 15 May 2012 8:01

We ALL have "issues"...

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The Top

Today, I went to a corner store to restock my chocolate stash. A guy from work walked in to see me and the cashier arguing about the amount of candy I was trying to buy with a jar of pennies. He took one look at me and said, "That time of the month, eh?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 739

You deserved it 27 157

Today, after spotting my ex-boyfriend's truck in a desolate parking lot, I decided to "decorate" the muddy side of it with a rather large male appendage. After checking around me to make sure there were no witnesses, I got to work. I probably should have made sure he wasn't sitting in the truck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 280

You deserved it 49 812

The Top

Today, my landlord informed me that after 8 months, we are finally getting cable and internet in our house. I move out tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 800

You deserved it 3 805

Today, while playing Star Wars: The Force Unleashed, my phone rang, and I instinctively tried to pick it up with the Force. I kept trying until it stopped ringing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 916

You deserved it 45 901

Today, I’m 24. I can either be employed and have money, but having to work weekend nights and have scattered days off, or I can be unemployed and not have money to go out enjoy my city. I haven’t had a weekend to myself since high school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 360

You deserved it 345

Today, my friends and I went out to dinner. Being short on cash, I suggested a game where we put our phones in the center of the table and first to check their phone had to pay the bill. Our conversation died out, and fearful of having an awkward silence, I checked my phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 420

You deserved it 55 281

Today, as I was driving to work in the aftermath of a terrible blizzard that came through my area last night, a lady slid through an intersection and hit my car, totaling it. I called my boss and told her what happened, only to have her tell me that we were closed due bad roads. No one told me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 137

You deserved it 4 869

Today, my boyfriend of three years broke up with me and blocked me everywhere, after I moved to another country to be with him… and then found out he was married. FML

I agree, your life sucks 717

You deserved it 125