Today, I missed my flight because I was stopped by airport security. They found "small, suspicious, spherical objects" in my purse on the X-ray. After pulling me out of line, taking my purse aside and carefully opening it with tongs, they removed the bag of grapes I had packed as a snack. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was boarding my flight when I got pulled aside for looking suspicious. As she was opening my bag, I said, "Be careful, I jammed so many clothes in there it may explode." I was then strip searched for my trouble. FML
Today, I borrowed a friend's suitcase for a trip. At the airport, security pulled me aside because there was a small metal object inside. I opened the suitcase expecting something suspicious and found a potato peeler. My friend had used the suitcase for groceries the week before. FML
Today, after visiting my mom, she stuffed a bunch of pads in my backpack so I'd have some at my dorm. When I was going through security, I was stopped and ended up missing my flight. Apparently the jumbo pads my mom sent look exactly like packs of cocaine when they go through the X-ray machine. FML
Today, I packed my bags and left for the airport. When I passed through security, the X-ray scanner discovered that my cat had also come along for the ride. FML
Today, while going through airport security the lady asked why I folded everything so small. I said that I was going away for a month and needed to fit a lot of stuff in only one bag. She smiled, nodded and then dumped my luggage to search for "drugs and other illegal teen things." FML
Today, I was going through airport security. Trying to get things over and done with quickly, I dropped my pants without a second thought. Turns out they just wanted me to remove my shoes and belt. FML
Today, I was supposed to catch a 4:40 flight to New York. My 5 year-old son handed me my carry on bag as I left the house. Turns out he had put his older brother's BB gun into my bag to "keep me safe." I missed my flight after I was detained and strip-searched. FML
Today, I missed my flight because I was held in airport security because I'd "threatened" an employee. He had confiscated my eyelash curler and jokingly I asked if he thought I was going to curl him to death. He didn't laugh. FML
Today, while going through customs at the airport, my bag was selected for screening. It was nearly overflowing because it was so full, so before the TSA agent searched it, I said, "Watch out - it's going to explode when you open it". Wrong choice of words. FML
Today, my mother-in-law had concealed in her suitcase a kitchen knife and plastic bags of MSG, salt, and other seasonings (AKA unidentified white powder) because she doesn’t trust foreign food, and wanted to cook her own food on holiday. Airport security were not amused and we missed our flight. FML
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Top comments
dino_witha_cape 0
yeah, if you bite into those things they could squirt someone's eye out
Jcsati8 0
If you pack baby carrots, will they think you are carrying ammo? Damn airport security!
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Comments (203)
captainmaharet 1
YDI. You can't take food on a plane unless you've bought it in the terminal past the initial checkpoints.
UrStoopid 0
Yet again...FOODS ARE ALLOWED THROUGH A SECURITY CHECKPOINT!! Grapes, oranges, apples, apple slices...it's allowed! Liquids AREN'T allowed! Applesauce, yogurt...things like this aren't allowed. Fruit cups with syrup...NOT allowed! And unless any of you have ever seen what explosives look like on an x-ray screen, you really have no room to talk & complain about what a waste of time it is when your things have to get checked. It's not like the machine can tell what something is when it's being run through the x-ray & a notification pops up that says "Grapes" sorry, that doesn't happen. The amount of time you spend in security also depends on how good the x-ray operator is. There are some operators who know what they're looking at & then there are those who don't really know & want almost everything checked or there are those who just have your bag checked depending on your attitude in line...and sometimes it also depends on if you're hot or not, your bag gets checked just so you can be stared at a little while longer.
MUFC4EVER 0
if it's an international flight, fruits, plants etc ARE NOT ALLOWED
lalalalou99 0
douche bag is short for douche which does not mean shower, besides we're speaking english. BUT i guess you're just trying to seem international so whatever. In any case my first comment was deleted about it. And why would i lie about being french? you're a little weird. if you're calling someone a douche in english it's not calling them a shower, it's calling them a douche bag. Oh but you're probably one of those people who say "deja vu" just because you think it makes you sound cultured.
lalalalou99 0
i mean douche is short for douche bag, and you were number 86
emerald_fml 0
HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA. Not sure if this is an FML since I'm guessing they let you go with your grapes and you caught your flight.......... but it's still funny as hell. :D
emerald_fml 0
Nevermind........ I just missed the part where it said you missed your flight. Okay. FYL. :(
mrtrick8586 0
I'm pretty sure this didn't happen. The x-ray machines have software that can differentiate liquids and things based on their x-ray reflection/signature. Anyways, I got taken aside for having a dense metal object in my backpack that set off the bomb detector. They were a bunch of stacked medals I had won at a track meet that I had forgotten to take out and they just asked me to take the metal object out. It took maybe 2 minutes for the check to happen.
cefarix 5
Attention! This a security announcement for all passengers: Please report any people carrying grapes to the nearest Airport Security Desk. Grapes can be mixed with sodas on flights to create a deadly biotoxin. Thank you for your attention.
mrtrick8586 0
Also check out guardian technologies international for those who think x-ray machines can't tell what is what when you put something through. I can't remember, but I think they landed a TSA contract several years ago for their software to be used with x-ray machines.