Today, my son asked if there was a way to make parenting easier. I sarcastically told him he could be a deadbeat who sees his kid every two weeks. He must have thought I was serious because he broke up with his girlfriend and baby, turned up at my door expecting to have his old room, and told my wife it was my idea. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I lashed out at the father of my son for not doing anything for the baby. He replied, “I never did shit for you to begin with, didn’t you watch the preview? You knew what you were getting yourself into.” FML
Today, my son got in an argument with my boyfriend, packed up his stuff, and moved in with his dad. Not five minutes later I saw my boyfriend doing his stupid happy dance. When angrily confronted, he admitted he orchestrated every argument for months until he got the result he wanted, my son gone. FML
Today, I had to offer my boyfriend a no-hard-feelings opportunity to just leave. He never wanted to be a dad, but since we accidentally got pregnant and had our son, I’ve watched his mental health go downhill so fast I was afraid he’d kill himself if he kept forcing himself to stay with us. FML
Today, I told to my son that I'm pregnant. After I'd told him, he looked up and yelled, "Fuck this shit!" and walked out of the room. My son is nine years-old. FML
Today, my son was crying because he wanted his daddy, and he asked when he can see him. I had no idea what to say, given his dad left us in the middle of the night last year, now lives in another country, and told me he never wants to see us again. FML
Today, I got back home from work and casually asked my dad, "What's up?" He casually replied, "Wishing I'd had a son instead." and stared glassy-eyed at me until I left the room. FML
Today, when my husband told me years ago he wanted to parent just like his dad used to, I had no idea that meant helping with practical stuff like cooking and nappy changing, but otherwise ignoring our kid's emotional well-being and telling them to buzz off when they try to talk to him. FML
Today, I've hated being a parent ever since I was baby-trapped at 17, but I stuck through it and never let my son suspect how I really felt, and we have a great relationship now he’s an adult. Well he just moved out yesterday, and today my wife told me she’s pregnant. Here we fucking go again. FML
Today, my son came running in, saying he had a project due tomorrow. I asked when it was assigned; he said two weeks ago. I refused to help, saying that he failed to act responsibly and had to live with the consequences. Now he's throwing a tantrum and my wife is screaming at me. FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend to help me with groceries, since the last of my money went to last week's groceries. His response was to start a fight, then tell me it's my fault my daughter acts the way she does, which is when he finally got me to break down and cry. I'm pregnant with his kid, and I also pay 90% of our bills. FML
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Top comments
No_Lifer 11
I mean.. I get you were being sarcastic, but if he's old enough to have kids (I assume he's in his 20's), how do you not know your kid is an idiot?
RichardPencil 30
Preach! If I had a nickel for every time someone took my sarcastic remark seriously, ... I'd have tens of dollars, maybe even $100. Luckily for me, the consequences of these confusions are nasty notes and not having to house a parasite.
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Comments (6)
cuz803 44
Such a pleasant influencer you are...
RichardPencil 30
Preach! If I had a nickel for every time someone took my sarcastic remark seriously, ... I'd have tens of dollars, maybe even $100. Luckily for me, the consequences of these confusions are nasty notes and not having to house a parasite.
mike3775 36
I would be a millionaire several times over. I need smarter friends. Lol
RichardPencil 30
There are 20 nickels in a dollar. Do the math. It's unlikely you'd make 20 million remarks in your lifetime.
No_Lifer 11
I mean.. I get you were being sarcastic, but if he's old enough to have kids (I assume he's in his 20's), how do you not know your kid is an idiot?
Regis Bent 12
Because of doing the smart thing, he left his family and thought living back home with mom amd dad was a good idea
Kevin Fletcher 10
Just a thought, maybe when a loved one has a serious life question, take them seriously. Maybe not
raven_of_azarath 34
While I agree generally, “How do I parent easier” shouldn’t be one of those. It’s pretty well known that parenting is hard, so any response that actually makes it “easier” should be taken with a grain of salt.
BurnInDemonFire 35
It takes an idiot to raise an idiot. I hope you sorted him out.