By nick - United States Today, the horn in my car decided to malfunction. It honked continuously for an hour as I drove down the highway. FML I agree, your life sucks 30328 You deserved it 2981 117 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Crawley Today, some friends got upset with me as I wouldn't leave work early and cycle 12 miles to meet them to fix their punctures because they had no spare tubes or repair kits. The same friends that always mock me for being so prepared on bike rides. FML I agree, your life sucks 24810 You deserved it 1705 63 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By thankspops - United States Today, I found out that the $200 a week I was paying my dad for my car insurance and payment, wasn't actually paying my insurance and car payment. How did I find out he wasn't paying? Repo man took my car. FML I agree, your life sucks 31538 You deserved it 3300 84 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By butchapparently Today, I got a text from the guy I've been in love with for 3 years, saying: "So um, I've been wondering. Did you used to be a man?" FML I agree, your life sucks 26620 You deserved it 2207 89 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Aaron - United States Today, I was watching a video about spiders. When I felt a tickle on my foot, I kicked hard in panic. It was one of our newborn kittens walking. I almost killed it. FML I agree, your life sucks 16604 You deserved it 55875 267 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Angie - United States - San Francisco Today, my boyfriend broke up with me and filmed it, because it would "be a big hit on YouTube." FML I agree, your life sucks 28110 You deserved it 1963 115 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By juanjohnfml - United States Today, I bought a $300 gym membership that gives me access to the company's non-premium gyms. The non-premium gyms are all closed due to construction, because they're being turned into premium gyms. FML I agree, your life sucks 33838 You deserved it 7731 165 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By me - Canada Today, I attended an elderly man's funeral. As I approached the casket his wife said, "Thank you for coming." I replied with, "No, thank you." FML I agree, your life sucks 12000 You deserved it 30223 77 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Sexless in Seattle Today, it's become clear I might have married the only man on the planet who doesn't care about sex. FML I agree, your life sucks 1859 You deserved it 442 24 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By disappointed - United States - Rockville Today, my eldest daughter told me about the sharp pains she's been having for the past couple of days. She also told me how she thinks it's really pointy carrots trying to escape her body. She's 11, and going to middle school. FML I agree, your life sucks 11960 You deserved it 1447 74 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By SkinsCastSelection - France Today, in the middle of the night, my girlfriend whispered "Are you asleep?" I chose not to respond, to see what she'd do. She then let rip a loud, stinking fart, giggled, and went back to sleep. FML I agree, your life sucks 17057 You deserved it 41373 115 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By 420dits - Canada Today, my crush went on webcam on MSN. He looked really adorable, so I took about 6 screen shots and copied them into paint. I accidentally took a screenshot of my screen with all the pictures on paint and copied it into the conversation. FML I agree, your life sucks 8000 You deserved it 44710 125 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today...I started my day with a head cold and sore throat. I am ending the day with my period and explosive diarrhea. Oh and to top it all off, I live in the midwest, where the wind chills are going to be -50 tomorrow...FML I agree, your life sucks 1945 You deserved it 148 9 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By zaynemaliksvagina - United States - Shrewsbury Today, I was having a rough day, so I decided to go to the movies to unwind. 15 minutes in, some assmunch behind me said "This movie sucks!" then dumped his drink over my head and ran out. FML I agree, your life sucks 30295 You deserved it 1872 76 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By candy - Canada - Kitchener Today, I greeted my boss with, "Looking good, did you lose weight?" He responded that no, he'd just purchased larger pants. FML I agree, your life sucks 20075 You deserved it 3951 44 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By liveforpeace_ - Canada Today, I went up to a secluded mountain my boyfriend took me to for our first date. As I saw another couple hooking up in the bushes, I phoned my boyfriend to tell him someone found our secret spot. His Bob Marley ringtone started playing from the bush. FML I agree, your life sucks 234567 You deserved it 13523 215 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By traumatized house keeper - Germany - M?nster What a jerk! Today, while cleaning the hostel, I had to make some beds in a dorm room. There were three guys in the room, one of whom was sitting on a bed. He looked me straight in the eye and I gave him a big smile before I realized he was jerking off. FML I agree, your life sucks 4346 You deserved it 384 18 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Jason Today, I bought my crush a bouquet of roses plus one fake. The line was going to be, "I'll stop loving you when the last rose dies." I told my best friend and he thought it was such an amazing idea that he stole the fake rose and gave it to her himself. Guess who got the girl. FML I agree, your life sucks 5114 You deserved it 620 32 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By a fatty Today, the lady running the pastry shop asked who I buy the second pastry for every day. I lied and told her that it's for a coworker. I eat them both. FML I agree, your life sucks 11661 You deserved it 36329 72 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By heartfelt - Sweden - Uppsala How you remind me Today, I was rejected by a company I applied to. When I was writing my application, I spent so much time on their website researching that the ads on my browser are almost all for their products. It's like getting rejected again with every click. FML I agree, your life sucks 38391 You deserved it 4071 58 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Wwiimaniac - United States - Dallas Today, I finally achieved the perfect hourglass figure. Too bad I'm a guy. FML I agree, your life sucks 26183 You deserved it 5477 162 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By clumsy - United States - Stafford Today, I slipped and fell on a piece of plastic. I thought nothing of it until I went to the doctor's and found out that I fractured and dislocated my kneecap. I'm now in a full leg brace and crutches. Prom is five days away. FML I agree, your life sucks 5024 You deserved it 468 12 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By littlelottie - United States Today, when I excitedly announced to my mother-in-law that I was pregnant, she looked at me with a blank expression and asked me who the father was. She's 45. She's not senile or suffering from dementia, but apparently just suffering from being a chronic bitch. FML I agree, your life sucks 40498 You deserved it 3579 261 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - San Francisco Today, I was putting the cat outside. He wouldn't go, so I kicked him. Then I woke up to my husband screaming. I’d been dreaming, and the "cat" I kicked was his family jewels. FML I agree, your life sucks 24587 You deserved it 9059 116 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By angry girlfriend - Canada - Montreal Today, I found out via Facebook status that my boyfriend is going to Hawaii with a group of friends, including his ex-girlfriend for a few weeks. When I confronted him about it, he said he didn't think I needed to know, and to mind my own business. I think I'm about to be single. FML I agree, your life sucks 35576 You deserved it 3581 276 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By CoffeeBoy - United States Today, I went to meet a potential client at StarBucks all the way across town about designing his website. I was extremely excited because I really need the work. I sat for an hour. Turns out he was across the street, at the other StarBucks. FML I agree, your life sucks 32968 You deserved it 6440 93 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ashleynicolle - United States Today, I gave my grandparents my old cell to use since they needed an upgrade. I thought I had deleted everything until I received a text from my grandmother. It was a vagina shot I had taken for my fiancé with a message that said "You need to wear more makeup". FML I agree, your life sucks 11652 You deserved it 36744 121 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Unreality - United States Today, I discovered my fiancé has been telling everyone else we are just friends, yet last night he wanted me to go with him to pick up my engagement ring. I'm supposing the wedding will be a surprise to everyone. FML I agree, your life sucks 31931 You deserved it 3544 143 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By OutoftheLoop - China Today, I returned home from college and saw a framed picture of my parents and my younger sister on an elephant in an exotic jungle. I pointed to the picture and asked my mom, "Is this some photoshop job?" She responded, "No, we went to Thailand for a family trip, didn't we tell you?" FML I agree, your life sucks 76280 You deserved it 3630 49 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ewwww - United States - Oak Lawn Today, I found out where the mysterious bites on my back keep coming from. It's not every day you find an earwig in your loofah. FML I agree, your life sucks 41496 You deserved it 4295 107 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By forgetful - United States - Los Angeles Today, our family bought a new car. When we got home, I opened the trunk to get my backpack. It turns out I left it in the trunk of our trade-in. The dealership is closed now and I have a presentation due tomorrow. FML I agree, your life sucks 22986 You deserved it 6561 43 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I ran into one of my teachers from high school. When I told her I just recently graduated college and was starting graduate school in the fall, she said "you don't have to lie, some people just are not cut out for college. There is no shame." I wasn't lying, I graduated with honors too. FML I agree, your life sucks 36656 You deserved it 2923 96 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By EnemyofKarma - Canada Today, I marched into my workplace yelling "take this job and shove it", under the impression I would be on a flight in a few days out of here. However, the airline has informed me I cannot fly until April because cargo is too cold for my dog this time of year. Jobless, four weeks to wait. FML I agree, your life sucks 7252 You deserved it 37267 116 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 13/2/2021 02:01 Hang in there Today, I'm 26-year-old woman and I've never had a date for Valentine's Day, never been on a date, or received flowers. This pandemic makes me think I never will. FML I agree, your life sucks 821 You deserved it 123 12 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By DemiRawrs - United States Today, my mom accused me of being pregnant. She wouldn't believe me when I told her I'm a virgin, and she challenged me to take a pregnancy test. It came back with a false positive. FML I agree, your life sucks 64521 You deserved it 4680 45 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By SKG95 Today, I had a flight to Philadelphia, but it got canceled due to bad weather. I booked another, which got delayed. After waiting for almost 12 hours at the airport, I boarded, just to have a super annoying toddler kicking my seat from behind. FML I agree, your life sucks 1621 You deserved it 117 8 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Kait - Canada - Newmarket Today, I went on a Tinder date. Sort of. I got ready and went to the bar he'd chosen. I waited 15 minutes for him to show. We exchanged ”Hellos,” then he said he was going to grab a drink and walked off. He didn’t come back. Damn, was it the way I said, “Hello”? FML I agree, your life sucks 1840 You deserved it 164 9 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By pigtails - United Kingdom - Thetford Today, management told me that I couldn't have a doorbell on my door. How did they get my attention to tell me this? By ringing my doorbell. FML I agree, your life sucks 31335 You deserved it 3218 66 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By AmihayG - Israel Today, as I was riding the bus, a lady told her daughter to sit next to me. She looked at me and started to scream and cry in horror. FML I agree, your life sucks 26015 You deserved it 2860 95 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By FUCK - United States - Chicago Today, I won an award for Employee of the Month. Shocked, I asked my boss if he'd gotten my name mixed up or something. He had. FML I agree, your life sucks 48199 You deserved it 10849 69 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
Today, I went back home after a break with my live-in boyfriend. I had to spend some time at my distant father's place in another city until we talked... I agree, your life sucks 219 You deserved it 42 4 Comments
Today, I had the most action in months when I woke up to a wet dream. I'm married, I guess that tells you all about my sex life. FML I agree, your life sucks 272 You deserved it 28 3 Comments