Today, I met my girlfriend's father for the first time. The first thing he did was show me a bullet, then he basically said that if I don't submit to his daughter's every whim, that bullet will end my life. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents. Her dad showed me his gun collection, and said the first rule of gun safety is never to point a gun at something you don't intend to kill. All while waving a handgun in my direction and glaring at me with barely suppressed rage. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's dad for the first time. His shirt said "D.A.D.D, Dads Against Daughters Dating, shoot the first one and word will spread". FML
Today, my first time meeting my girlfriend's dad ended with him chasing me from his house and trying to hit me with a baseball bat. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. As I shook her father's hand, he squeezed with an ungodly amount of force, leaned in with a smile, and murmured that my balls will be the next thing he'll crush if his daughter ever complains about me. FML
Today, while meeting my girlfriend's parents for the first time, her dad made a big show of cleaning his rifle, before loading it, taking aim, and blowing the hell out of a hornet's nest at the back of the yard. I fear for my life. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's dad. He pointed to two crossed swords above the fireplace and informed me the right one is his, and that if I ever hurt his daughter, he’ll give me a fighting chance by letting me use the left one. This guy thinks he lives in the Middle Ages or something. FML
Today, my new girlfriend's father made good on his "What you do to her I do to you" threat when he took me out for drinks and then drunkenly hit on me. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's father for the first time, and from what I'd heard he's super strict and uptight. I go in for the firm handshake after introducing myself while looking him in the eyes and I accidentally grabbed his junk. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend’s parents for the first time. Her dad killed and skinned a goat in front of me, while staring at me the whole time. FML
Today, I was getting ready for my first date with a boy I really like when my dad insisted on meeting him. My dad is super protective and a cop. He cleaned his gun in front of my date and made it clear he had to be careful with me. My date started to cry when we got to the car. FML
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Top comments
bjhhjh 20
And thats the reason there is 911 and life crisis hotlines
xThatOneWeirdGuy 18
Unless he was joking, run. Now.
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Comments (156)
Sliver1991 26
Maybe it's just an act? Well, hope for you!
Fuaaad1994 31
Better be careful op
Iniezian 18
"Your daughter wanted to sleep with me. I was just submitting to her every whim"!
sourgirl101 29
There are some guys that purposely **** over daughters because of dealing with a father's empty treat. Really? He's going to kill you and risk going to jail etc... So dads, how about rising your daughters with enough respect for herself that she won't want to date assholes instead?
olpally 33
Just walk away slowly. Dad is clearly not joking. Don't want to leave your girlfriend though. She better be worth that bullet. Jesus.
boskone 1
Take it from him, and write your name on the side.
The_Big_Boss 20
I had a girl's dad show me a gun in a threatening fashion. I happen to also be into guns so I started talking about guns and offered to go out and shoot with him. He wasn't expecting that one
buckdharma 38
You have two choices. 1. Steal her heart. 2. Steal the bullet.
FMLcommenterer 13
You sir, you are a ******* genius. Teach me how you think of these miracles.
kaytasha 18
One word, Intimidating! Imagine having him as a father in law
aliciavanham 13
Don't know what het dad was thinking...