Today, I met my girlfriend's father for the first time. The first thing he did was show me a bullet, then he basically said that if I don't submit to his daughter's every whim, that bullet will end my life. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents. Her dad showed me his gun collection, and said the first rule of gun safety is never to point a gun at something you don't intend to kill. All while waving a handgun in my direction and glaring at me with barely suppressed rage. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's dad for the first time. His shirt said "D.A.D.D, Dads Against Daughters Dating, shoot the first one and word will spread". FML
Today, my first time meeting my girlfriend's dad ended with him chasing me from his house and trying to hit me with a baseball bat. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. As I shook her father's hand, he squeezed with an ungodly amount of force, leaned in with a smile, and murmured that my balls will be the next thing he'll crush if his daughter ever complains about me. FML
Today, while meeting my girlfriend's parents for the first time, her dad made a big show of cleaning his rifle, before loading it, taking aim, and blowing the hell out of a hornet's nest at the back of the yard. I fear for my life. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's dad. He pointed to two crossed swords above the fireplace and informed me the right one is his, and that if I ever hurt his daughter, he’ll give me a fighting chance by letting me use the left one. This guy thinks he lives in the Middle Ages or something. FML
Today, my new girlfriend's father made good on his "What you do to her I do to you" threat when he took me out for drinks and then drunkenly hit on me. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's father for the first time, and from what I'd heard he's super strict and uptight. I go in for the firm handshake after introducing myself while looking him in the eyes and I accidentally grabbed his junk. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend’s parents for the first time. Her dad killed and skinned a goat in front of me, while staring at me the whole time. FML
Today, I was getting ready for my first date with a boy I really like when my dad insisted on meeting him. My dad is super protective and a cop. He cleaned his gun in front of my date and made it clear he had to be careful with me. My date started to cry when we got to the car. FML
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Top comments
bjhhjh 20
And thats the reason there is 911 and life crisis hotlines
xThatOneWeirdGuy 18
Unless he was joking, run. Now.
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Comments (156)
thatnucca 36
Just make sure you make her call you daddy whenever the opportunity presents itself OP...
Mossears133 15
84- it means "dog", hon.
Deathghat 5
It shouldn't take an over protective dad to figure that out...
Flashman9000 9
Leave her.
tvwrestler98 14
there goes your wallet
JokersHQ 21
I get the whole "protect my daughter and treat her well" and support it but hats a bit too far...and creepy!
padlockd 9
Everyone's arguing about whether or not the dad is sane, and I'm just sitting here wondering what's up with OP's username...
MrsAlexander83 10
Sounds like what my husband is going to do when our little beauty gets big enough to date. The rights of a father! Good luck OP!
squideth 18
So you're totally cool with your husband threatening people and treating your daughter like a less-than-human piece of property? Okay good luck with that.
scissors17 23
End it before it's too late! And Happy New Year!
fksfsdhfsdfh 26
He sounds serious!