Today, I met a really nice girl at a club, and we went back to my place. I was finally going to lose my virginity, but just as she started kissing me, I panicked and ended up fainting. When I came to, I was still clothed, and she was long gone. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I met a really nice girl at a club. One thing led to another, and she told me to meet her out front in 5 minutes. I was so drunk that I stumbled into the restroom instead, then curled up on the floor crying in despair when I realized my mistake. FML
Today, I finally got the chance to sleep with a girl from home who I'd wanted for a long time. She has low blood pressure problems though, and when things got hot, she passed out while she was on top of me, fell and hit her head on the night stand. FML
Today, I drove my girlfriend home around 11pm to her garage where we started to have sex. When she came to climax she slipped and hit her head. Her parents heard the crash and came down; we were both still naked, and she was unconscious. FML
Today, I was finally all set to lose my virginity. My girlfriend pushed me onto the bed and pulled off my underwear. She then made a face as if she'd just sucked on a lemon, and got up and left without a word. I haven't heard from her since. FML
Today, a girl I have been wanting for years told me she was drunk and needed me to take her home. On the way home she was very frisky and flirty, and I kept telling her to wait till we got to her place. When we finally arrived, she passed out on me and I was stuck there watching her sleep. FML
Today, I finally convinced a girl that I liked to have sex. I decided to swoop her off the feet like the movies and carry her to my bed. I ended up hitting her head on the door frame, knocking her out. FML
Today, I was about to lose my virginity. I couldn't get it up. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to the girl of my dreams. I could tell she really enjoyed it, because she muttered, "Well, that was disappointing." afterwards, then got dressed, said she'd made a huge mistake, and asked me not to call her again. Yep, total stud. FML
Today, I finally decided to sleep with my boyfriend. It was my first time and I was really nervous so when he was being all romantic with candles and wine I went a bit overboard and drank too much. I passed out. I woke up a few hours later, still a virgin, and in a puddle of my own piss. FML
Today, I was all set to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. I was ecstatic, until she threatened to "beat the fuck" out of me if I didn't make it good for her. The actual sex was 30 seconds of me being given death glares, causing me to lose my boner, and have to leave in shame. FML
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Top comments
lemon_lime741 6
well, at least you tried. A for effort
10showgirl 16
Your first time shouldn't be with a stranger... Good luck!
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Comments (128)
meowimmakat 23
At least she didn't steal any of your stuff...
DeeDeeJay 15
I'm now curious as to how old you are.
tigerisabelle 31
Why would you lose your virginity to a complete stranger? Might just be me, but I think a first time should be with someone special. Also you never know what strangers have, like STDs. Would kind of ruin the moment if you got syphillis.
Mike_Sweatpants 9
alex_gen 39
And you were so close to winning some STDs! Don't worry, you'll get it next time. Second time's the charm, right?
Reallionaire28 4
lmao.. You about as bad as forrest gump
illegalbeagle69 23
Forrest Gump did get some.
FlyingPie 17
I agree that your first time should be with someone special. If it had happened with her, you may have regretted doing something like that with some random stranger.
beanthemouse 13
She does not sound like a nice girl if she left you fainted on the floor. What if it was serious?
paigexox0 37
Probably scared her off more than anything. If it WAS serious, she probably didn't wanna be the one answering questions.
Thunderstruck14 30
It would have been nice to stay there until he woke up. She is just a stranger though. Friends, family, and partners usually stay with a person to make sure they're okay, but the temporary relationship you'd have with a stranger for sexual purposes isn't always a very friendly, supportive, or caring relationship. Strangers aren't someone you can count on always. Also, maybe she did make sure he was okay and that it wasn't serious, but left after a bit? Who knows, not us, not OP either.
justinmd97 3
You posted this at 6 how early did you go to the club?
bobslawnservice 16
At least you didn't wake up in a ice bath missing an organ.