Today, I met a really nice girl at a club, and we went back to my place. I was finally going to lose my virginity, but just as she started kissing me, I panicked and ended up fainting. When I came to, I was still clothed, and she was long gone. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Same thing different taste
Party hard
Today, I met a really nice girl at a club. One thing led to another, and she told me to meet her out front in 5 minutes. I was so drunk that I stumbled into the restroom instead, then curled up on the floor crying in despair when I realized my mistake. FML
The wrong kind of banging
Today, I finally got the chance to sleep with a girl from home who I'd wanted for a long time. She has low blood pressure problems though, and when things got hot, she passed out while she was on top of me, fell and hit her head on the night stand. FML
WTF is going on here?
Today, I drove my girlfriend home around 11pm to her garage where we started to have sex. When she came to climax she slipped and hit her head. Her parents heard the crash and came down; we were both still naked, and she was unconscious. FML
So close…
Today, I was finally all set to lose my virginity. My girlfriend pushed me onto the bed and pulled off my underwear. She then made a face as if she'd just sucked on a lemon, and got up and left without a word. I haven't heard from her since. FML
Today, a girl I have been wanting for years told me she was drunk and needed me to take her home. On the way home she was very frisky and flirty, and I kept telling her to wait till we got to her place. When we finally arrived, she passed out on me and I was stuck there watching her sleep. FML
Today, I finally convinced a girl that I liked to have sex. I decided to swoop her off the feet like the movies and carry her to my bed. I ended up hitting her head on the door frame, knocking her out. FML
A tale as old as time
Today, I was about to lose my virginity. I couldn't get it up. FML
Stud
Today, I lost my virginity to the girl of my dreams. I could tell she really enjoyed it, because she muttered, "Well, that was disappointing." afterwards, then got dressed, said she'd made a huge mistake, and asked me not to call her again. Yep, total stud. FML
Big night
Today, I finally decided to sleep with my boyfriend. It was my first time and I was really nervous so when he was being all romantic with candles and wine I went a bit overboard and drank too much. I passed out. I woke up a few hours later, still a virgin, and in a puddle of my own piss. FML
No good
Today, I was all set to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. I was ecstatic, until she threatened to "beat the fuck" out of me if I didn't make it good for her. The actual sex was 30 seconds of me being given death glares, causing me to lose my boner, and have to leave in shame. FML
Top comments
lemon_lime741 6
well, at least you tried. A for effort
10showgirl 16
Your first time shouldn't be with a stranger... Good luck!
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Comments (128)
rawrkiller24 16
It's not meant to be
kingdomgirl94 29
Why are people calling the girl a **** for trying to have sex with someone she just met when OP was doing the same thing? Bitchy for leaving him alone, yea. But a ****? Hmmm... me thinks I smell a double-standard..
Tmhunter3 6
MAYBE YOU WERE DRUGGED !!!
bowman5 3
You pussy ass bitch
bowman5 3
Pussy shit
maryjane2386 0
I don't think she is very nice if she just left you there passed out.... I mean who leaves a person just passed out!!!
Merylwen 24
In my opinion, losing your virginity to a complete stranger could not possibly go well. At least now you have another chance not to make that mistake.
Kfortch 9
Sex.. Not for the faint hearted
Reallionaire28 4
Damn you about as bad as Forrest Gump
Sirmrcrowley 12
If by club you mean "corner" and by nice girl you mean "hooker" and by fainting you mean "hit with a bat" and by she was gone you mean "so was all your shit" yea, sorry bro. I know the feeling.